The Path

"....we commemorated the meaning that the path holds: encounters. To commemorate, celebrate, discuss, dance, and respect the mystery of life, but at the same time to understand that we are not alone in this mystery and that we need to share our enchantment with other people who understand our way of thinking...."
Paulo Coelho....Walking the Path...

The True Secret


What if you found out today that all that is missing from your life is the expression of the love in your heart? Rather than focusing on your list of wants, that time could be better spent each day looking at how you can take down the barriers to receiving more love and compassion. The outer world is so seductive; the illusion of happiness from external successes, so powerful. So if you find yourself in "the wanting" of outer things, remember this: When you are hating where you are in your life, mad at yourself for the mistakes you've made, resentful of others for the pain of your past, and when you are a major complaint about your body, your weight, your job, your finances, your family, or your mate, you attract all kinds of expressions of that discontent. When you fail to acknowledge your strides, your successes, your gifts, your uniqueness, and how blessed you are just to be alive today, how can you expect to attain your goals or create a life beyond your wildest dreams?


The process of falling in love with yourself is often a long and arduous journey. But as that love grows, what naturally occurs is the manifestation of the highest expression of yourself. So make peace with your past, forgive yourself, be present to the love in your heart, and then pick projects, goals, and relationships that are a massive expression of your love. If like really does attract like, this is a guaranteed recipe for success!


For months now, my amazing staff and I have been building a new website (soon to be launched) that is overflowing with the passion we feel for transformation - it is filled with recorded prayers, meditations, and affirmations that you'll be able to listen to any time you need some inspiration, and it is infused with enormous community support through our Integrative Coaches, message boards, telecourses, workshops, and more. And I can tell you that because this project was birthed out of the love in our hearts, it will be one of the great successes of our lives. It is in the moments of deep and profound love for ourselves, each other, and our work that we are able to create, create, and create some more.


For any one of us, when our acts of creation are led by the intention to spread love, that is a miraculous and healing journey in and of itself. And since it all begins at home, you might want to start this week by spreading more love and acceptance to yourself for where you are, what you have, and most importantly...for what you don't have.


THIS is the true secret to success.


Take Action Now!

Take out your journal or a few pieces of paper and allow yourself to hear from within the answers to the following questions:


What would you have to love about yourself to experience an explosion of creativity?


What would you have to forgive yourself for to feel worthy and deserving enough to attain your goals or fulfill your deepest wishes?


What attention do you have on the outer world than needs to be redirected to your inner world in order to make your dreams a reality?


May these questions serve you well this week in bringing you closer to yourself.


With love and blessings,



(Today's tip is adapted from my new book, 'Feel Happy Now!',
coming from Hay House in May 2007...)

"Myths which are believed in tend to become true."

-George Orwell

There are over 60,000 books in print on the subject of happiness
at the moment, which is particularly interesting when you
consider the fact that 'happiness' doesn't even exist.

Like 'success', 'love', and 'confidence' (not to mention
'stress', 'anxiety' and 'depression'), the word 'happiness' is
what linguists call a nominalisation - a process or activity
that is described as if it were a tangible thing. While the
metaphor of happiness as a 'thing' does make it easier to talk
about, it also carries with it some interesting baggage.

If happiness were a thing:

*It could be lost or found outside of oneself

*You could give it to or get it from someone else

*You could almost certainly buy it (and it would be cheaper and
quicker to get on the internet)

*You could share it with others

And this, of course, fits with the way that many of us think and
talk about happiness. But if our goal is to actually feel
happy not only now but more and more of the time, it is more
useful to think about 'happiness' in terms of a process:

*Happiness is the process of creating and experiencing good
feelings in your body and mind, moment by moment by moment.*

When you recognize happiness as a process, not a thing, you

*You can do it or not do it

*You can get better at it

*You can ultimately master it

Over five hundred years ago, Francis Bacon wrote about what he
called 'the idols of the Western world' - those ideas which were
so much a part of our culture that we never thought to question
them, instead worshipping them with the kind of blind faith
normally reserved for far more religious than scientific

I prefer to think of these ideas as myths - stories we tell
ourselves about how the world works that are blindly passed on
from generation to generation, never questioned until we decide
to give weight to the primacy of our own experience over the
ideas before our minds...

Myth number one -
"I'll be happy when..."

I talked at great length in my first book about this idea, which
I consider to be the greatest myth in Western Civilization.
Just how disconnected happiness actually is from having what you
want is easy to see when you look at the four ways of being in
the world:

1. You can be happy and doing and having the things you want in
your life

2. You can be unhappy and doing and having the things you want
in your life

3. You can be happy and not doing and having the things you want
in your life

4. You can be unhappy and not doing and having the things you
want in your life

The key to seeing through this myth successfully is to recognize
this simple fact:

*Your happiness does not depend on getting or having what you

When we stop using unhappiness (fear, doubt, sadness, anger,
etc.) as our primary motivation to act, we can move happily
forward in the direction of our dreams with ease and grace.

Myth number two -
It's not possible to be happy in certain situations

The idea that our happiness and well-being in life are the
product of our circumstances seems at first glance to be
self-evident. After all, isn't everybody sad at a funeral? And
when's the last time you saw a group of happy football fans
celebrating after their home team lost the big game?

But in the same way as the regular presence of fire engines at
the scene of a fire doesn't mean that fire engines actually
cause the fire, the regular presence of unhappiness in certain
situations doesn't mean it's actually caused by the situation.

It's not so much that certain things 'make' you happy - it's
that there are certain situations where you feel it is
appropriate to feel happy, and certain others where you don't.

The truth behind this myth is a subtle one:

*While it may or may not be possible to be happy all the time,
it is certainly possible to be happy at any time.*

In fact, each one of those things you think of as 'making' you
unhappy are simply things which you have not yet given yourself
permission to feel happy in relation to and/or areas of your
life in which you have not decided to make feeling happy a
genuine priority. Prioritizing happiness is always a choice.

Myth number three -
Unhappiness is good for us

It is undeniable that unhappiness is a part of life, and many
philosophers and scientists point to the evolutionary role of
fear and anger in the survival of the species. But when we
start to justify our bad feelings as good for us (or worse
still, our good feelings as bad for us), we keep ourselves stuck
in a self-fulfilling rut.

Ironically, the state of discomfort most of us put ourselves
into to better deal with our problems is the worst possible
state in which to deal with them. Like pouring fuel on a fire,
meeting difficulties with anger, fear and sadness tends to make
things more, well, difficult.

Here's what's waiting for us on the other side of the myth:

*Whatever you can do with unhappiness you can do better when
you're happy.*

As long as we justify unhappiness as being important, we'll have
more of it. As soon as we recognize that its evolutionary
functions (keeping us alive when in the face of danger and
keeping us humping one another) are almost entirely achievable
with positive emotion, we can change the very basis for our

Today's experiment:

1. Think about something in your life you are unhappy
(angry/fearful/sad/etc.) about.

2. Ask yourself "Why am I unhappy about that?" Your answer will
reveal a belief - part of your personal mythology of

3. In reviewing whatever beliefs your answer revealed, you may
find any or all of the following questions useful:

*Do I believe that?
*Why do I believe that?
*What am I concerned might happen if I didn't believe that?
*What am I concerned it might mean about me if I didn't believe

4. If you knew that you didn't need to feel unhappy about
whatever it is in order to demonstrate your caring or motivate
yourself to action, what would you do differently in that

5. Take at least one of the 'happy actions' you come up with in
question 4!

Have fun, learn heaps, and happy exploring!

With love,

PS - Want to chat with best-selling author Jennifer Louden?
She'll be our first guest in the all new Solutions Café book
club - go to to join

Topic of the Week - Disappointment as Preparation

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an
invincible summer."

--Albert Camus

Fourth Deadly Sin: Wrath


According to the dictionary: feminine noun, from the Latin Ira. Choler, anger, indignation, rage, desire for revenge.

For the Catholic Church
: Wrath is not only against others, but can turn back against someone who lets hate sow seeds in his heart. In this case usually he is led to suicide. We need to understand that punishment and its imposition belong to God.

In “Verba Seniorum” (The Word of the Ancients
): Two wise men who lived in the same chapel in the Sahara desert, chatted one day: “Let’s fight so that we don’t become disassociated from the human being, or we will end up not understanding properly the passions that torture him", said one of them.

"I don’t know how to begin a fight".

"Well, we will do the following: I am putting this brick here in the middle, and you say to me: it’s mine. I will answer: no, this brick is mine. Then we will begin arguing and we will end up fighting".

And so they did. One said that the brick was his. The other argued, saying it was not. “Don’t let’s waste time over this, keep this brick," said the first. “Your idea for a fight was not very good. When we perceive that we have an immortal soul, it is impossible to fight over things".

In a laboratory study
: Janice Williams followed up for six years 13,000 men and women aged between 45 and 64 years and, basing herself on their behavior, discovered that people who get intensely irritated, and frequently, have three times more chances of having a heart attack than those that face adversities more serenely (Williams, 2000).

That happens because, at each episode of Anger, the organism releases an extra load of adrenalin in the bloodstream. The high concentration of adrenalin raises the number of heartbeats and, at the same time, makes the blood vessels narrower, raising blood pressure. The repetition of such episodes may give rise to two problems usually associated to the heart attack: alteration of the heart rate and a sudden dilation of fatty deposits that might be in the arteries.(Source: Ballone G.J. – Anger and Hate, negative emotions)

In popular Brazilian music
: While there is strength in my heart I don’t want anything else/ Just revenge! Revenge! Revenge! Crying out to the saints / You have to roll like the stones that roll on the road / without ever having a place of your own to be able to rest in. Lupicínio Rodrigues)

In the words of William Blake
: I was angry with my friend: I mentioned this to him, and the anger went. I was angry with my enemy: I didn’t mention it to him, and the anger increased.

On hate for foreigners (xenophobia)
: “All Western countries are infiltrated by Moslems. Some of them are even able to talk amiably, while they wait for the moment to kill us. They say that the events of September 11 (2001) happened because of a shock of civilizations. That is a lie: a shock of civilizations calls for two distinct civilizations and that is not the case. There is only one civilization: ours. “ (Statements made by the leaders of the Danish People’s Party - – DPP – sowing the seeds of hate and the new Fascism, which Europe and the entire world are watching grow without taking serious steps)

Comment from the Tao Te King
: All weapons are instruments of evil and are absolutely not the instruments of the wise prince. He uses them only when urged by necessity. Calm and repose are what he appreciates; victory by the force of weapons is undesirable for him

Considering it necessary is a sign that the man takes pleasure in killing other men, and he who takes pleasure in that killing may not run an empire.

When we want to weaken someone, we should first strengthen him. If we want to defeat him, we must first raise him. If we intend to deprive him, we must first give him presents. This is what is called subtle discernment.

Thus, the submissive and the weak will conquer the tough and strong.

(next: Gluttony)

"The Witch of Portobello" will be released in the UK on 4/23/07 and in India on 4/18/07. If you wish to read the Q&A with the author and soon the first chapters of the book, click here. The book will be released in the United States in May of 2007."

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2007 by Paulo Coelho  


"Words have the power to destroy or heal. When words are both
true and kind, they can change our world."

Today's tip is built around a true story, made famous after appearing in the first 'Chicken Soup for the Soul' book. It was written by Sister Helen P. Mrosla, and it has a profound impact on me every time I read it. I'll share my thoughts with you about why that is after you've read it as well...

All Good Things
He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's
School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me,
but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance,
but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his
occasional mischievousness delightful.

Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again
that talking without permission was not acceptable. What
impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every
time I had to correct him for misbehaving - "Thank you for
correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at
first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many
times a day.

One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once
too often, and then I made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked
at Mark and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape
your mouth shut!" It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck
blurted out; "Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the
students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the
punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.

I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I
walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took
out a roll of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded
to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X
with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the
room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at
me. That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I
walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my
shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me,

At the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math.
The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom
again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since
he had to listen carefully to my instruction in the new math,
he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in third.

One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on
a new concept all week and I sensed that the students were
frowning, frustrated with themselves - and edgy with one
another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of
hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in
the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each

Then I asked them to think of the nicest thing they could say
about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the
remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as
the students left the room, each one handed me the papers.
Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister.
Have a good weekend."

That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a
separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had
said about that individual. On Monday I gave each student his or
her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?"
I heard whispered. I never knew that meant anything to anyone!"
"I didn't know others liked me so much." No one ever mentioned
those papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed
them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter.
The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were
happy with themselves and one another again.

That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I
returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we
were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about
the trip - the weather, my experiences in general. There was a
lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a side-ways glance and
simply says, "Dad"?" My father cleared his throat as he usually
did before saying something important. "The Eklunds called last
night," he began. "Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them
in years. I wonder how Mark is." Dad responded quietly. "Mark
was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow, and
his parents would like it if you could attend."

To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where
Dad told me about Mark. I had never seen a serviceman in a
military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All
I could think at that moment was, "Mark, I would give all the
masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me".

The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang
"The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on
the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the
graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler
played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by
the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water. I was the last one
to bless the coffin.

As I stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer
came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I
nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about
you a lot," he said.

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to
Chuck's farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were
there, obviously waiting for me. "We want to show you
something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket.
"They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you
might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of
notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and
refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were
the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of
Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for
doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured

Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled
rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the
top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked
me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn
said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate,
reached into her pocketbook took out her wallet and showed her
worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at
all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we
all saved our lists."

That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and
for all his friends who would never see him again.


There are many obvious reasons that this story touches my heart
- it is about life and death, friendship and love. It is about
having a teacher and mentor who cares for you above and beyond
the call of duty - who loves you absolutely and believes in you
and your ability to create a life worth living.

But what gets to me beyond all that is the profound simplicity
of what Sister Helen did. She impacted those kids lives (and
mine as well) not through 'clever classroom techniques' or
ramrod discipline but through an understanding of one simple

*One kind word rightly used can heal a lifetime of pain.*

That's a power we all have inside us - to use our words in ways
that uplift, encourage, challenge and heal. To speak in a way
that catalyzes possibility when people are stuck in limitation
and evokes love, care and kindness in the midst of the chaos of
every day life.

Today's experiment is a simple one:

*Tell someone you love what it is that you love about them
*Tell someone you care about that you believe in them
*Tell a complete stranger something nice that you notice about

In the words of William Makepeace Thackeray:

"Never lose a chance of saying a kind word."

With love,

The 5 Secrets to Creating Deeper Intimacy

Creating an empowering, loving and fulfilling relationship with
someone is one of the most amazing things we can learn as human
beings. Our experience of this world is deeply defined by the
relationships we have or don't have with other people. If you knew
the greatest secrets to manifesting an amazingly intimate
relationship this week, would you use it? Well this is your chance to
transform your connection with others. For whatever you put your
attention on expands and grows, so why not focus on what will bring
you more love and intimacy? Anytime you think that you cannot be
intimate or that other people are not allowing you to be more
intimate, you are focusing on what you don't want and attracting more
of that to you. Realize one thing; that the Universe is ready for you
to be intimate with it right now! Every moment contains this
opportunity for a deeper connection with it, and this intimacy can be
actualized in your physical relationships. When you realize this and
start applying it, you have just become even more enlightened and

The world is your mirror, and relationships you have are your
reflections in it. If you are diving inside to truly know yourself
and being more intimate with yourself each day, others will start
OPENING to you and reveal themselves more intimately with you. Know
that you can create some form of intimacy with EVERYONE you meet just
by being open. Revealing yourself is how you get others to reveal
themselves. Once you do this you will have amazingly successful
relationships with everyone.

Intimate relationships are the ULTIMATE teachers, especially the ones
you let in to see and feel your soul. In intimacy (into-me-you-see)
you are revealing your deepest truth inside your heart. Your soul
learns sooo much by revealing itself on these deeper levels and will
grow exponentially. Sure intimacy in the beginning can feel
uncomfortable and exposing because it forces you to release your
story, game and typical automated response to the world. Intimacy
forces you to be REAL! You are pulled out of your safe velvety rut
and are stepping onto the true playing field of life again.

Like everything in life, intimacy contains both negative and positive
aspects depending what you choose to focus on. Sharing your heart
with another can be one of the most blissful experiences on the
planet, or the most scary and vulnerable. Yet, if you continue to
choose opening, being real, and honest, you can only experience
freedom and immense growth from it. This is the freedom from your
typical suffering where you hide and play small because you don't
want to hurt them. It's time to truly be free! Here are 5 amazing
secrets that will profoundly deepen your intimacy with others and
help you manifest more amazing relationships...enjoy!

1. Reveal yourself without hesitation. Be as raw and real as possible
with every human you come in contact with.

2. Be radically honest. Speak what is most true in your heart, and
say that which makes your heart open, expand and relax.

3. Drop being responsible for their reaction. Feel what you are
feeling, and choose those feelings which bring you more connection
and inner peace.

4. Constantly send messages of acceptance, appreciation, and approval
to others as they are. Always be a voice of love for the world.

5. Look for yourself in the reflection of this relationship "mirror".
Know that whatever triggers you is not about them, it's about YOU!

You can naturally and effortlessly make the commitment today to be
more intimate, just because it FEELS good! When you actively practice
these five secrets you will see your relationships start to blossom
and have the fragrance of a million rose gardens. We know that you
will be astonished at how quickly ANY relationship can be
transformed, (no matter how many years it's been stagnant) with these
5 secrets. It doesn't matter if it's your spouse, friend, or boss,
intimacy can be found when these five truths are followed every day.

Learn more proven techniques for easily manifesting amazing
relationships in your life with our 90 Day Manifesting Program
instantly. Results guaranteed or your money back!! Download instantly

Searching for your Soul Mate? Instantly Download the Guide Meditation
to Manifesting Your Soul Mate at

Sending many intimate moments to you,
Jafree & Margot


Hope is the expectation that our personal intentions will be in alignment with the cosmic mind. Although the universe moves in an evolutionary direction, the line is rarely straight, and therefore there will be times when we wonder if our needs will be met. It’s in these moments that hope carries us across the chasm.

Personally, I invest more in faith than hope. I have faith that however the world unfolds, there will be new opportunities for expansion of wisdom and compassion. The world of form and phenomena brings its inevitable ups and downs. Although at times we may wish that we had total control over outcome, uncertainty is the cauldron of creativity.

Practice mindfulness in action. Witness your intentions. Notice how your intentions drive your choices and actions. As your choices generate experiences, become aware of the discriminating aspect of your mind that judges the experience as desirable or undesirable. Notice that as soon as you fulfill one intention, another spontaneously arises and the cycle continues.

Become aware of the silent witness to your intentions, choices, experiences and judgments. Cultivating the ever present witness as your internal reference enables you to immerse yourself in a state of being that is inherently peaceful and content, regardless of whether or not your intentions are being fulfilled at the rate you would like. From this place of inner peace, you simultaneously empower your choices while remaining detached from the outcome.

This is a good time to become clear on your intentions for the year. According to the Vedas, “purity of thought and fixity of purpose” are the keys to life of fulfillment. Consider what you would like to see manifest in your life. Envision how your world would change if you were able to translate your intention into conscious choices. Then, make a commitment to take the first step along the path to fulfillment. Have faith that the universe will help organize your intentions and hope that the consequences of your intentions will bring peace, happiness, love, and meaning to you and all those affected by your choices.



Hope is the bold vision that inspires us and the vital energy that encourages growth. Hope is the presence of divine love so sweetly nestled in each of our souls. Hope is the sure and steadfast anchor of each wish. Hope is the power to quest for things that have yet to become. Hope is alive before it is even conceived – it is the deepest connection to the manifest because it nurtures the outcome without requiring attachment – it is the benign detached engine of creativity; the fountain of what can be, and the blossoming vibration of every heart.

In the first month of the year, hope is most robust in each of us. The next 350 days are hopefully laid out before us in our mind’s eye as we would like them to be - every moment of the coming year capable of being whatever we dream or whisper into the unknown. This is the season where we’ve made our commitments to health, emotional freedom, compassion, authenticity, wholeness, love, truth, peace, and self. And then with hope as the heartbeat, we begin to live these contracts we’ve made between our body, mind, and soul.

What If...

What if wishes, hopes, and dreams could come true? What wishes would you make for yourself?
What would fulfill your needs at the deepest, most basic level? What would allow your soul to complete its destiny?

The ancient Vedic texts known as the Upanishads declare, “You are what your deepest desire is.
As is your desire, so is your intention. As is your intention, so is your will. As is your will, so is your deed.
As is your deed, so is your destiny.” Our destiny ultimately comes from the deepest level of desire and also
from the deepest level of intention. The two are intimately linked to each other.

What is hope? Most people say it’s a thought of something that you want to accomplish in your life or that you
want for yourself.
But really it is more than that. Hope is a way of fulfilling a certain need that you have,
whether that need is for material things, for a relationship, for spiritual fulfillment, or for love. 
Hope is a thought, a feeling, a state of mind that will help you fulfill a need.

Seen this way, our hopes revolve around the goal of being happy or fulfilled.
First, if we are asked what we want, we might say, “I want more money,” or “I want to be healthy.”
Then if we are asked why we want that, we may say something like,
“Well, so I’ll be able to spend more time with my children.”
If we are asked why we want to spend more time with our children, we might say, “Because then I’ll be happy.”

So we can see that the ultimate goal of all goals is a fulfillment at the spiritual level that we call happiness or joy or love.

When hope is repeated, that creates habit. The more hope is repeated, the more likely it is that the universal
consciousness will create the same pattern and manifest the intention in the physical world.
If you really want to break out of the mundane, you must learn to think and dream the impossible.
Only with repeated thoughts can the impossible be made possible through your hopes, intentions, and desires.

The great poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson, once said, “More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of.”
But it’s not prayer if the hopes and intentions are forced; it’s finesse, timing, surrender, gratitude, trust, love,
and compassion that allow your desires to manifest.

While interpretation, memory, and habit create the illusion of familiarity or sameness, of our continuation
from minute to minute, in reality, there are infinite possibilities at our core,
infinite possibilities that need only hope to make them real.

For every hope, wish, and intention you have, ask yourself, “How would this serve me
and how would it serve everybody I come into contact with?”
And if the answer is that it will create true joy and fulfillment in me and all those affected by my actions,
then my intention, together with surrender, orchestrates its own fulfillment.


8 Simple Secrets to Becoming Enlightened

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when
you take your eyes off your goal."  ~ Hannah More
  1. Release all concern for what others think of you. (especially family, friends, co-workers and people you do not even know!)
  2. Send LOVE towards every car, tree, thing, and person you see.  Give love everywhere you go by opening your heart when you consciously see anything.
  3. Be totally honest and true to your every word.  Follow through with everything you say you are going to do.
  4. Be conscious, present and aware of this full experience of your life right now.
  5. Make time to connect with the Universe by being still and meditating from the ever-present pure awareness inside you now.
  6. Surrender to your inner-most being.  Find the deepest Source of stillness inside and nestle into this wonderous inner core.
  7. Feel free to think, say and do anything you want!  It will awaken an infinite power, awareness and Universal knowledge inside you.
  8. Fully accept yourself, your life situations and relationshps exactly as they are right now as the greatest teachers you could ask for...

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."  ~Sidney J. Harris

Manifesting your dream life with our 90 Day Manifesting Program!  Download it instantly online at

The greatest love of all comes from inside you!
Jafree & Margot

How to Stop Worrying and Start Trusting

How often do you worry about your future? The act of worrying is a HUGE drain on your Manifesting Vibration. Just like the TV, the worried mindset will pull you in and entertain you for hours, days, years, and yes even lifetimes! Worrying is exactly how you manifest what you don't want in life. If you always think about what you DON'T want to happen, how much energy is left to focus on what you DO want? Worry is a lack of mental discipline and focus. The reins on the mind are too loose, and those wild horses just trample all over you! If you have been practicing the fine art of worrying for years, you may have become a worry-zombie, and are completely numb to lighter thoughts, abundant consciousness and outrageous pleasure! Step out of the zombie-zone by pulling back on your reins in your mind! Steer those crazy horses back to your pleasure pastures by staying focused on the positive outcome you really want, and learning to trust that the Universe does support you in manifesting whatever you do deeply desire.

Trust is the exact opposite of worry. When you live with trust in your heart every day then you automatically move beyond any negative thought or feeling. There is no room for the vibration of worry with trust inside. In a state of trust you are consistently letting go of the future and the past. All the thoughts that your mind has about tomorrow or yesterday are unimportant, and you relax into the perfection of this "Now" moment, connecting with your true infinite nature. The truth is that when you start living each moment from trust you start becoming this powerful manifesting being who can easily create anything you desire. You naturally trust that all of your desires will manifest at the perfect time, and you know that all it takes is setting a strong intention and allowing the Universe to support you in making this desire blossom into reality. Here are three powerful steps to instantly shift from worry into trust. Each will help you manifest more of what you want out of life this year.

1. Stop Your Wild Inner Horses
A worrying mind is like a pack of wild horses running out of control in all directions. The more you worry, the more your mind goes off into thinking about all sorts of strange improbable possibilities. The issue is that YOU choose to follow this crazy mind, and may even buy into its obsessive thoughts to such a high degree that you may start believing in them. The first secret to shifting out of this harmful mental state is to get your wild horses under control. The easiest way to do this is to do a pattern interrupt with your mind by gently saying, "STOP" to these horses when they are going off into the land of worry. It's best to whisper this out-loud to yourself if possible. With gentleness you can command your inner herd. These horses will stop and listen to you with even the smallest whisper. Even if they stop for only one moment, you have been successful. You have stopped them from running wild all over your show.

2. Refocus on the Perfection of the Now
At the instant when the horses stop, it's key to refocus your mind on the present moment. When the mind is fully present to the "Now" moment, it is naturally relaxed and drops all fears. Focusing on the "Now" will help your mind unwind and deeply feel the peace and sublime perfection of each moment of existence. The best technique for focusing on the "Now" moment is to simply ask yourself questions like, "What is happening now?, What am I feeling right now?, What am I experiencing now?, What do I see right now?, or What do I hear right now?" If your mind begins to wander off, gently redirect it back to this moment.

3. Turn up Your Inner Trust Valve
Imagine that you have a Trust thermostat in the middle of your heart that measures how much you trust the Universe to support you in manifesting your desires. This thermostat is connected to a trust valve in the center of your chest that has 10 settings on it. The number 10 is the most trusting with the number 1 setting being completely closed or lacking trust. Get a sense right now of where your trust is at on this dial. Then slowly begin to open your valve, turn it up a few notches and let in more and more trust. Feel how expansive, warm, and light it feels to increase the level of trust in your heart. Keep opening the valve until it is completely open at a 10! Breathe in 100% trust and notice what this feels like! Feel how good it is to let go and know that the Universe is helping you manifest all your desires now and forever. You can also repeat the mantra randomly through your day of, "I trust myself and the Universe". Repeating this message over and over will eventually expand your heart to experience a greater level of trust.

Our 90 Day Manifesting Program will skyrocket your manifesting abilities! Take your life to a new level by manifesting your desires faster and easier! Instantly download the program at: You can trust it!! We guarantee results or your money back!

Trust is always there inside you,
Margot & Jafree

How to Finally Live Your Life with Passion


By Barbara Rose, Ph.D.

You know you're living your life with passion if you can say, "If someone offered me two hundred million dollars per week to give up what I’m doing, I would say, No, thank you!"

That's all fine, well and good, but you may be wondering, "how do I get there?"The key to living this way is to first eliminate those tasks, adult people, obligations and associations that you are not deeply enjoying.Second, it is imperative that you take some time out of your schedule and really ask yourself what has been some of the most difficult periods of your life? You may wonder what this has to do with living a life with passion, so I will share this with you, now.Living a life with deep passion means living a life with deep meaning. It may very well be those precise areas of your life where you have endured great hardship, and became determined to turn it around, that you find you can share the same with others.Then you are a beacon of hope. First for yourself, and for others by way of your example. You will share from your heart just to make a difference, because it feels good, and not for any ulterior motive or reason.You will feel validated from within because you will be living from your heart, rather than the fears in your head. This requires courage, and many times it is not easy. If I were to tell you it is easy all of the time, I would be lying to you.It is scary to move into unfamiliar territory, but it is even scarier to wither away and watch your lifetime slide by without ever taking a pure and positive risk.Furthermore, you do not ever need another person’s permission, stamp of approval, understanding, or validation to be and express who you are. The only person’s stamp of approval you need is your own.When you begin to worry about what others think, immediately turn your attention to how you feel, and what you prefer. Then, follow through in your actions one moment at a time.So many people worry about how it's all going to turn out, at leas I used to. But what I have found to be so empowering is to follow through in the moment because it feels true and good to me, and I know my motives are pure. They are not attached to an outcome. It is the process of living out what you love from your heart, because that aspect of you carries deep meaning to you, that it will naturally touch the lives of others who need what you are sharing.Perhaps they need a role model who has "been there" and who can relate. Perhaps you will attract other people with whom you collaborate and work together to spread the word about what you are sharing with the world.There is one thing that passion can never be; it can never be bought. It's something you feel in your heart, and you feel a great deal of joy during your process. Does this mean you’ll never have a difficult or sad day? No, it means that when you do, you know it will pass, and you have a great deal of purpose and meaning backing you, which adds to the joy you experience in your day to day life.Here are some suggested guidelines that you can follow.Only follow through with what feels true to you, as long as it does not bring harm to anyone or anything.Make sure your motive is pure, without being tied to an agenda or an outcome.Be certain that what you are sharing truly matters to you in your heart.Keep putting it out there on a consistent basis because people will resonate with and relate to what you are sharing.Honor what makes you unique, every part of you, and cease all negative criticism.Tell the naysayers in your life nothing! When they ask how you are, simply reply, "Good, no complaints!"Seek out a trusting and supportive support system of people who are on a similar path and who share a lot in common with what you believe.Dare to take a risk every time you want to create or express something, do it.Never take insults into your being and allow them to hurt you. They are the perceptions of others, and other people are entitled to their beliefs and preferences. At the same time, continue with what you are doing.Make your passion your "from-the-heart-mission" in life, and allow it to bloom, expand and unfold one moment at a time. Instead of worrying about how it’s all going to turn out, live it out in the moment.Remember you are here to live, not stagnate. You are here to share the best of times and the worst of times, knowing that they all contribute greatly to your growth, and your mission.Remember that many people who create enormous contributions in our world have experienced great adversity. That adversity strengthens us, and it teaches us a lot.What have you learned from the adversity you have experienced? What do you love doing? What are your natural talents?Start right where you are, now, this moment, and express what inspires you. Then, follow through just one moment at a time. That is really all it takes. But, it takes your deepest heart and the meaning behind what you are doing, expressing and creating that carries the most weight to living a life passionately.If you don’t feel passionate about it, toss it. If you feel inspired, go for it. When you feel scared, just know that everyone feels scared moving out of their comfort zone. Make that a positive sign of your personal growth.Most of all live it all out from your heart, because it brings joy to your heart. That is what matters most, and that is the only way you can live a life with passion. Just start, now. You have a clean slate ahead of you.

The seven deadly sins: Pride


The seven cardinal sins were eight, organized at the beginning of Christianity by the Greek monk Evágrio do Ponto, and defining the principal negative inclinations of the human being (it is curious that on Evágrio’s list, the most serious sin is gluttony...). All of them were able to take us to hell. In the 16th century, Pope Gregory made the first changes in the list, including “envy” but merging pride and vanity. In the 17th century the list was rewritten again, and “melancholy” ceased to be a sin, being replaced by “sloth”. Now we have today’s list as a basis on which the next seven columns will be based.

According to the dictionary
: Feminine noun, pride comes from the Latin Superbia. It means haughtiness, conceit, arrogance, presumption.

According to the Catholic Church
: Self-esteem that goes beyond limits and places itself above love for God. It goes against the First Commandment (You shall have no other gods before Me), and it was this passion that caused the rebellion of the angels and the fall of Lucifer.

In a Zen fable:
The grand master of Tofuku noted that the monastery was busy. Novices ran back and forth, employees stood in line to receive someone.

"What’s happening?” he wanted to know.

A soldier came up to the master and gave him a card which said: "Kitagaki, the governor of Kyoto, has just arrived and is asking for an interview."

"I don’t have anything to discuss with this person", said the master.

Minutes later, the governor came up, apologized, crossed out what was on the card and delivered it again to the master.

It said: "Kitagaki asks for an interview".

"Welcome", said the Zen master of Tofuku.

On an aircraft carrier
: “MISSION FULFILLED” (banner on the USS Lincoln on May 1, 2003, when President Bush announced the end of the major military operations in Iraq. On that day, the number of American soldiers dead came to 217. On the day that I am writing this column, the figure has exceeded 2,700)

For Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz
: "When someone tries to discover who you are, using secondary things as a way of comparison, he finds a series of empty shells – which depend on each other to make sense.

"It is not correct to define yourself as a friend of Tom, son of Dick, an executive in such a post, doing this or that task". Because all we will discover through this method are aspects of ourselves – aspects that are usually gloomy and incomplete, of someone who is trying to become visible at the expense of others.

"The only relationship possible is with the Lord; from then on, everything begins to make sense, and we open our eyes to a greater meaning".

According to St. Augustine
: Pride is not grandeur, it is swollen-headedness. What swells seems big, but really it is a disease.

Advice from the Tao Te King
: It is better not to fill a vase completely rather than try to carry it if it is full.

When we sharpen a knife too much, its cutting edge will not be preserved.

When gold and jade fill a room, their owners will be unable to keep them safe.

When wealth and honors lead to arrogance, for sure evil will come soon after.

When we do our work and our name begins to become famous, wisdom consists of withdrawing into obscurity as soon as the task ends. @ 2007 by Paulo Coelho  

The reader has the floor


Anabel (Mérida, Spain)

I don’t know if it is all written down, I don’t know if people write their story when they are born, or before, or while they are alive. But I am convinced that everything that happens in our life has a meaning, and that is why each moment has to be lived intensely. Because it is today that enables us to move ahead, break the ties, let life flow in all its freedom, and understand that loving the moment is what makes us happy. Loving what we see, what we touch, what we don’t understand, loving the unknown, what makes us anxious, the deep and the shallow, but loving nevertheless.

Beba (Islamabad, Pakistan)

Life is absolutely temperamental, and it eventually leads us down paths that we were not absolutely certain or enthusiastic about following. But what would become of us without these surprises? I make a toast to all that is absurd and marvelous that we will continue to come across at each step that lies ahead.

Iris (upon arriving at Santiago de Compostela)

When I reached Obradoiro Square, I wondered: why did I have to face so many difficulties? I joined the endless line to kiss the statue of the saint and it all struck me as absurd, except for catching up with some pilgrims that I had met on the way. Yes, it was all absurd, except the joy of having surmounted my limits and feeling a better person. Just as well that I did not walk like the others. Just as well that I decided to stop whenever the sun set, avoiding thinking about whether I was near a shelter or whether there was food available. Just as well that I ate a plate of lentils that upset me and obliged me to sleep at the foot of a mountain, in a place that I would never have known had it not been for that problem.

Just as well that I overslept and ending up having to spend the night under a star-filled sky. Just as well that I began walking when I felt like it and stopped when I wanted to, without anyone telling me is that was right or wrong. Just as well that I was alone, and so the moon treated me in a very special way. Just as well that I took the wrong turn four hundred times and ended up knowing places that nobody knew. On one of these detours I spent the whole day sitting in front of the door of a convent thinking about my vocation

It was because of so many absurd things and so many “just as well’s” that the whole thing was fun. Because before this my life had a goal, and from now on I will go on walking just for the pleasure of walking.

Maximiliano (Veracruz, Mexico)

Before a storm everything is silent and calm, although we can feel the smell of raindrops. Some days ago I was with a friend and his sister in Porto de Tuxpam. It was Carnival, everyone was having a good time, and right at the climax of the party the sky became filled with clouds, then lightning fell closer and closer, and the rain started. Everyone ran for shelter.

All of a sudden, as if there had been some mysterious communication among the people, we all returned to the street and discovered that the storm only contributed to the world being more fertile and the climate milder. Joy returned, although nobody quite understood why they were so joyful.

One of the most sublime moments that anyone can experience is to live through a storm.

Copyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho.

The Power of Manifesting Meditations!

*"You must first be the change you want to see in the world."

Even though you think your conscious mind is in charge of what you are doing or how you are thinking, your subconscious mind is really the one running the show. When you were born your subconscious mind began recording all of your experiences, and from these recordings it created beliefs, and behavior patterns. So as you go through your life, your subconscious mind is continuously influencing the quality and frequency of the energetic vibration you send out to the world around you, and thus the ability to manifest what you deeply desire. So while you may consciously know that you are an abundant being of light, your subconscious mind may feel very differently about things and still live in some scarcity mentality.

The interesting thing is that your subconscious mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality. For instance, when you are watching a really funny movie, you body automatically starts responding with more lightness to each funny scene that happens. You laugh more easily, perhaps your eyes get clearer, your heart beats lighter, you start to relax, and become spontaneously happy and giddy. So even though your conscious mind may know it's just a bunch of actors, images, and words coming from the screen, your subconscious mind is prepared to laugh at anything and the body feels much lighter and more expansive inside.

*"Thought is the blossom; language the bud; **action the fruit behind
it." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson*

**By nature, we are vibrational beings that carry a certain momentum of energy. The energy/attitude that you started your day with is typically what you'll carry throughout the day, unless you shift your subconscious mind. By using positive imagery and imagination you can reprogram your deeper mind to believe anything. The old saying, "a picture is worth a thousands words," is soooo true! Your subconscious mind is dramatically impacted by the images you see physically or imaginatively. You don't have to physically see a beautiful ocean sunset to FEEL the benefit from this powerful imagery. You can simply close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting on a beach in Hawaii watching the sunset, with your toes in the warm sand and still receive the same deep feeling of relaxation and peace.

*"You really can change the world if you care enough."
**~Marian Wright Edelman*

You are not a victim to your thoughts; rather you are the master behind them. The following guided Manifesting Meditations are a powerful vehicle for mastering your life by communicating directly with your subconscious mind. When you consistently experience being abundantly wealthy, free and alive on your inner world, it is bound to manifest itself in your outer world. By focusing on exciting new positive imagery with elated emotions, you'll effortlessly re-program over any outdated negative tapes that may be holding you back from manifesting your desires. Below are 9 powerful guided meditations that will transform your subconscious mind and your life!* *

**~ Guided Meditation to Become a Manifesting Magnet!
~ Guided Meditation for Manifesting an Abundance of Money!
~ The Manifesting Money Mantra Meditation!
~ The Guided Meditation to Meeting Your Financial Guru!
~ The Guided Meditation for Experiencing Samadhi!
~ Guided Meditation for Awakening Your Kundalini!
~ Guided Meditation for Healing your Body, Mind and Soul!
~ The Guided Meditation for Manifesting Your Soul Mate!
~ The Guided Meditation Journey to The Akashic Records!

We want you to experience an abundance of wealth, love, consciousness and spiritual awakenings in your life! So, we are going to offer you a special on our guided meditations series! For the next 12 days (until November 28th, midnight EST) you can purchase ANY 3 individual guided meditations for only $29.95!! This is up to a 48% savings and a limited time special offer! You can purchase all 9 if you wish as well at this discounted price. To read more about each individual meditation, click on this link:

Many blessings to you,
Margot and Jafree <>;

You Can Have What You Want

November 15, 2006

A quick note from Michael:
There is a scene in Steve Martin's movie "The Jerk" where upon finding his name listed in the phonebook, his character runs up to everyone he sees and jumps up and down screaming "The new phonebooks are here!!! The new phonebooks are here!!!", eagerly pointing out his name and handing out copies like a proud father handing out cigars.

So at the risk of seeming a bit of a "jerk"...


The eagerly anticipated (by me, anyway :-) launch of the US edition of You Can Have What You Want is today, and my publishers, Hay House, have graciously assembled a collection of bonus gifts and even a free trip for two to hear me speak in Las Vegas to anyone who buys one or more copies from either Amazon or Barnes& between now and November 22nd.

For full information on all the bonuses, you can visit:

Today's tip is actually the introduction to the book, so it's a bit longer than usual. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it...


"There are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish

-Thomas Edison

Let's begin our time together with a little experiment...

I'd like you to put the book down and swap shoes with the person nearest you. Now, if you're in the bath, or reading this all alone in the middle of nowhere, I understand that might be a little bit difficult. But, otherwise, go for it. Take off your shoes, go up to the person nearest you and ask them to swap.


OK, let's talk about it.

Nobody questions the fact that our feet are different from other people's feet. Different size, different shape, different appearance. There may be people you know with similar feet, but no one with identical ones to yours. And the reason you almost certainly didn't do what I just asked you to do (and if you did, for goodness sake swap back!) is because you understood immediately that it was ridiculous. The chances of someone else's shoes fitting your style and taste (or, more importantly, your feet) were as slim as a pair of single E loafers. Yet to them, their shoes might be the most wonderful shoes in the world - comfortable, practical, attractive, and with great memories attached as well.

What's less obvious to most of us is that the same principle holds true of our beliefs and practices in the world. Setting goals, meditating for thirty minutes twice a day, doing the latest diet, or practicing yoga might be as painful, uncomfortable and inappropriate for you as trying to squeeze into your favorite movie star's underwear - but you might still try to do it because it looks so good on them!

What if you don't need to do things someone else's way in order to live a happy, successful life? What if everything you've ever learned about success was just wrong?

This book is about what happens when you use your head, listen to your heart and follow your bliss. It's about what happens when you stop doing all the things you think you should be doing and start doing what you really want to be doing - when you stop listening to everybody else and instead turn up the volume on the still, small voice within.

By the time you've finished reading, you'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can have whatever you want in life: more money; better relationships; a new job; or anything else that makes your heart sing and your soul come alive. The only question you will be left with is whether or not you really want it!

Let's face it - most people spend their lives chasing someone else's dreams, then wind up being disappointed that they never achieved them or even more disappointed that they did.

As you explore the ideas in this book and put them to the test in your one and only life, you will get back in touch with your own dreams. You will discover what actually works for you, regardless of whether or not it works for anyone else. And best of all, you will finally be able to truly enjoy the journey every bit as much as the stopping points along the way.

Debunking the myth of the experts


"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth - persistent,
persuasive and unrealistic."

-John F. Kennedy

Having grown up in a family of scientists, I was thoroughly immersed in the myth of the experts, which can be summed up in the phrase 'Follow the advice of the experts - they know best'.

The idea is that there are these people out there called 'experts', and what they do is study everything there is to study about a field, and they find the best ways of doing things. Then they tell you what they've learned, and even if it feels wrong to you, you should do what the experts tell you - because they're experts.

Makes sense, right?

Well, it made so much sense to me that I grew up and became an expert in my area of psychology called Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP. I've studied hundreds of books and worked with thousands of people over the past fifteen years, including a foreign prince, numerous millionaires, and famous (sometimes infamous!) members of the Hollywood elite. I'm an unquestioned expert in the field of human behaviour.

Yet I'm not going to give you a single bit of advice about what you should do with your life.


Because even if what I say is true in my experience, it may not
be in yours. In theory I may know better than you, but in practice you know best (or at least you have the potential to know best) what will work for you.

In fact, I'll go so far as to say this:

*You are the expert on you.*

But here's the catch...

Most of us have never claimed our expertise - we've never made a study of ourselves. And if you're going to step up and be your own best expert, one of the most useful things you can do is to begin tapping into your own inner senses and inner genius on a regular basis.

While no one can teach you exactly how to do that, it is something that can be learned - and I've designed every sentence in this book to act as a catalyst in the process of bringing your genius to life.

The idea of 'genius' being a measure of intellect is actually fairly recent. In its original form, the word had two primary meanings. The first refers to that natural inclination that we all seem to have which draws us towards some things more than others. This is different from cultural conditioning, which would have us all want the same things and agree that only certain things are 'good' and 'right' while everything else is bad and wrong.

The second root definition of 'genius' is djinn or 'genie'. And like the genie in the magic lamp, when you learn to unleash your inner genius, you will find your 'wishes' to the universe are granted more easily and effortlessly than you may have ever thought possible.

How it all works

In Part I - Creating a Life That Makes You Go 'Wow!' - I will share with you the same stories and techniques I use with my clients to help them unleash their own inner genius and put it to work in creating their lives. You will learn the keys to knowing yourself, trusting yourself, inspiring yourself and even loving yourself - what I call the four pillars of an extraordinary life, because each one provides a core structural element in supporting you on your journey, and together they form an unbreakable foundation for living the life of your dreams.

You'll also learn some of the foundational secrets of effortless success - that kind of success where it seems as though you got what you wanted without even trying. We often think about these experiences as anomalies - happy accidents while we are getting on with the 'real' business of creating what we want in our lives. In fact, your experiences of effortless success are the keys to finding and walking along what I like to call "the path of inspiration" - that unique blueprint for success, happiness and fulfillment that is being drawn on your heart and in your life each and every day.

In Part II - An Obstacle Course to Success - I'll walk you step by step over, around and through the nine key life obstacles that people use to stop themselves from having everything they want in life. This section is packed with simple tips, techniques and proven action strategies for getting unstuck and moving forward with your dreams.

Throughout the book, you'll also find a number of boxed sections called 'From theory to practice...' These are based on a simple but important idea:

*The difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice - but in practice there inevitably is.*

Each of these sections will contain an experiment or two that you can do for yourself to find out if what I'm saying works for you - if it enhances the quality of your life and moves you closer to having more of what you want.

It is important for you to realize that you do not need to do all of the experiments in this book in order to succeed!

Instead, I'd like you to think about each one of them as an invitation to learn more and have fun doing it. As with any invitation, you don't have to accept it - but if you don't, you might just miss the party.

How to NOT change your life

One of the core skills of NLP is learning to use language 'hypnotically'. I have put these skills to use and have written this book in a way that your life will change for the better just by reading it. Despite this, there are still a few ways you could avoid making your life better if you really want to...

1. Dismiss it all as New-Age happy-clappy bubble-gum pop psychology

If you're already thinking about hiding this book inside a porn magazine so you don't have to be embarrassed about people seeing you read it, there are a couple of things in here you may find difficult...

First, there are times when I use words like 'love', 'happiness' and even 'God' (gasp!).

Second, I tell the occasional 'little bunny FuFu' story. You remember little bunny FuFu, don't you? The one who went hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head?

You don't have to work out exactly what these stories are supposed to mean consciously. They're written for another part of your mind - the part that keeps your heart beating and your body breathing, even as you're reading this book right now.

2. Turn the ideas in this book into a new set of 'rules' for how you're supposed to be in the world and what you 'should' and 'shouldn't' be, do, have or want

In the famous story of the blind men and the elephant, each of the men in turn mistook the small part of the elephant they were
able to grasp in the moment for the true nature of an elephant. Therefore the man holding the tail thought the elephant was like a snake, the man who grabbed an ear described the elephant as being like a bat, and the man who got hold of one of the legs thought the elephant to be very like a tree.

In the same way, it is the easiest thing in the world to turn any one perspective on life into 'the whole truth' and then expound on it as if it really were the 'right' way to be.

But if you read this book as a manual for how you should be and what you should do if you want to be happy and successful, you will find ways of turning every positive possibility into a limiting straight jacket.

Know this - no matter how well things are going for you or how badly you may be suffering right now, you're almost certainly doing the best you can to take care of yourself, moving towards happiness and away from sorrow in the best way you know how. And as Oprah Winfrey is fond of saying, 'When you know better, you'll do better'.

3. Override your inner wisdom by listening to me instead of yourself

The reason why I focus so heavily on experimentation is that until you actually try things out for yourself, you won't know where, when and how they will make the biggest positive difference for you.

Here's an experiment we'll be playing with throughout the

It is very easy when reading to get 'lost in thought', particularly if something I say doesn't seem to fit in with what you have learned about happiness, success or life. But if the ideas most people had in their heads about what it takes to live their dreams were accurate, there would be no point in my having written this book and even less point in your reading it now.

Therefore, whenever you see the symbol of an alarm clock, check to see if you have disappeared off into your own head. If so, pat yourself on the back for noticing and bring your attention back into your body by closing your eyes and taking a slow, gentle breath in as you focus on your physical heart. You can use these checkpoints as an easy way to reconnect with yourself and your inner wisdom. We'll talk more about why this makes such a difference in Chapters 5 and 6.

So... what do you want?

I'm hoping you picked up this book because there are all sorts of things in your life that you want and you'd like some help in getting them. Maybe you want to make more money, improve (or even change) your career or start up a company of your own. Perhaps you are looking for a new or improved relationship, better (or even any!) sex, different friends or a more enjoyable social life.

What you want may be even more personal - more intimate. You might be wanting to save your marriage or get on better with your resident teenager. You might have a health condition you are hoping to overcome. You may even be saying to yourself 'I just want to be happy' or 'peaceful' or 'loved'.

The good news is, you can have what you want, even if right now it seems too remote a possibility to even wish for. That's not to say that just because you want to go out with your favourite movie star, you automatically will (although one of my clients did - her story is in Chapter 2), but rather that you will come to realize over the following pages that the universe runs on a fundamental and oh so wonderful principle:

*When you get really clear and honest about what you want, everything in the universe conspires to help you get it.*

I call this the principle of effortless success, and it's at the heart of everything you'll be learning in this book.

Along the way, I'll share dozens of stories of how people just like you and me have overcome traumas, achieved 'impossible' goals and made improvements in areas of their life where they had abandoned all hope. In fact, I'll be sharing with you the best of what I've learned from over 15 years of coaching and teaching thousands of people to have what they want, catalyse their genius and live a life that makes them (and often everybody around them) go 'Wow!'

But there is a catch...

You're going to have to allow this to be easier than you think, faster than you expect and more fun than you can imagine.

Are you ready to begin?

With love,

PS - If you would like to read more, chapter one is available to
read from the bonus promo page:


"A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow."

-Charlotte Bronte

If sleep researchers are to be believed, the vast majority of us are sleep deprived - that is, we are functioning below our full capabilities because our bodies aren't getting enough sleep. Current estimates suggest that it takes as much as 9 to 10 hours of sleep each day to fully regenerate and renew our body, mind, and spirit.

While I'm sure a few of you will be cheered by this news, and happily share it with all those misguided fools who thought you were just being lazy :-), for many of us, the thought of "losing" even more of our precious time to sleep each day can be daunting.

In fact, we tend to sleep least when we need it most, working round the clock to manage a crisis, run a company (or country!), or even just to make ends meet.

As someone who has spent years resisting sleep as an annoying interruption to my otherwise productive life, here are some of my favorite bits of research on why sleep is a good thing, especially when times are hard...

1. More Sleep = More Productivity

One of the common arguments for voluntary sleep deprivation is the need to find more hours in the day - i.e. "the less I sleep, the more I get done". But a study at the University of Michigan found that when people increased their average nightly sleep cycle by only one hour, their ability to focus the next day increased by 25% - in other words, one extra hour of sleep brought the equivalent of an extra 4 hours of productive time the next day.

2. More Sleep = More Safety

Recent Canadian research into sleep deprivation showed that every Spring, on the day nearly everyone loses an hour of sleep due to daylight savings time, there is a 7% increase in traffic accidents over the daily average. Perhaps unsurprisingly, every Fall, when the clocks "fall back" and people gain an hour of sleep, traffic accidents drop by 7% below the daily average. This is believed to be due to a measurable increase in "reaction time" in sleep deprived drivers, somewhat akin to that experienced by drunk drivers.

3. More Sleep = More Health

Here's a short list of health problems known to be related to sleep deprivation:

*Higher risk of infection
*Abnormalities of bowel habit
*Higher risk of diabetes
and most commonly,

4. "Power Naps" really are powerful

The good news is that sleep deprivation doesn't have to be cured all at once - a rule of thumb is that you can "make up" lost sleep at a ratio of nearly 1:3 - i.e. you only need an extra 20 minutes of sleep the next day to make up for a lost hour in the night.

The secret to a good power nap is all in the timing. Researchers suggest you make sure your naps are either less than 20 minutes or more than an hour. This will prevent you from waking up "sleep drunk" - that uncomfortable, groggy feeling which many people associate with a mid-day snooze.

5. Resting before you sleep makes your sleep more restful

Strange as it may seem, research has shown that five to fifteen minutes of relaxation before bedtime, be it through a hot bath, deep breathing, gentle stretching, guided imagery, or any other form of meditation, leads to a more productive and rewarding sleep cycle.

And for you contrarians out there...

6. Early to bed and early to rise doesn't actually make any difference

A study in Great Britain tested the efficacy of Benjamin Franklin's famous advice on how to become healthy, wealthy and wise. They compared a test group of "Larks" (people who went to bed before 11pm and got up before 8am) and "Owls" (people who went to bed later and got up late) to see if there were any measurable differences in health, wealth, or wisdom (measured by a standardized IQ test).

The results? Sorry, Ben - the only statistically significant difference was a slightly higher median wealth score amongst the

Today's Experiment:

1. Take a short "power nap" during the day today. Remember, you'll get the optimal benefits by setting your alarm for 20 minutes or less. (Both Salvador Dali and Thomas Edison were rumored to nap by sitting in a chair with a fork balanced in their hand. When they fell asleep, the fork would fall, waking them almost immediately!)

2. Create a bedtime ritual for yourself by doing this "relief breathing" exercise adapted from an original design by intelligence researcher Win Wenger:

1. Think of a difficult situation from today - something you struggled with at the time or are still struggling with now.

2. Imagine you are wearing a hot, heavy, clammy suit of armor. Feel it begin to weigh your shoulders down, compressing and constricting your body.

3. Now, imagine removing the armor and enjoy breathing in a huge sigh of relief.

4. For the next minute or so, breathe each breath as if it is your first breath free of the burdensome weight of the armor.

5. Check back in with your situation. Chances are, it no longer feels like such a burden. You may even find yourself with new insights and a renewed sense of energy and vigor.

6. Repeat with any other stresses or struggles from the day.

Have fun, learn heaps, and...well, I'd come up with something clever but I've got to get some sleep! :-)

With love,

Dialogues with the Master ? Organizing the quest


Here I continue to transcribe extracts of the notes I took between 1982 and 1986 on my conversations with J., my friend and master in the Regnus Agnus Mundi (RAM) tradition. I remember that I was always asking for advice on any decision I had to take. J. usually remained silent for a while before speaking:

“People who are part of our daily life can give us important hints on decisions we need to take. But for this purpose all that is needed is a sharp eye and an attentive ear, because those who have ready solutions are usually suspect.

“It’s very dangerous to ask for advice. It’s very risky to lend advice, if we have a minimum sense of responsibility towards the other person. If they need help, it’s best to see how others resolve – or don’t resolve – their problems. Our angel often uses someone’s lips to tell us something, but this answer comes casually, usually at a moment when we do not let our worries overshadow the miracle of life. Let our angel speak the way he is used to, which is at the moment he deems necessary. Advice is just theory; living is always very different.”

Then he told me an interesting story:

Master Kais was walking in the desert with his disciples when he came across a hermit who had lived there for years. The disciples began to shower him with questions on the universe – but they eventually discovered that the man did not have all the wisdom that he seemed to possess. When they mentioned this to Kais, he answered:

“Never consult a worried man, no matter how good an advisor he may be; don’t ask a pride man for help, however intelligent he may seem. Because worries and vanity obscure knowledge. Above all, distrust those who live in solitude; usually they are not there because they have renounced everything but rather because they have never known how to live with others. What wisdom can we expect from that type of person?”

J. left for the airport and I was left to reflect on our conversation. I was in need of help, because I always made the same mistakes over and over again. My life revolved around old problems, and every now and then I was confronted with situations that had crossed my path so many times before. That depressed me. It made me feel that I was incapable of making any progress. I decided to go into a café that I still frequent today, just to sit and observe everything around me. I saw nothing new, absolutely nothing, and began to feel abandoned.

I decided to look at a newspaper that someone had left on a nearby table, and began to leaf through it at random. I discovered a review of an old book by Gurdjieff that had just been republished; the critic used an extract from the book:

Conscious faith is freedom.

Instinctive faith is slavery.
Mechanical faith is madness.
Conscious hope is strength.
Emotional hope is cowardice.
Mechanical hope is sickness.
Conscious love arouses love.
Emotional love arouses the unexpected.
Mechanical love arouses hate.

There lay the answer: the same elements (faith, hope and love) with their nuances, always leading to different consequences. I began to be aware that repeated experiences serve a purpose: they teach you what you have not yet learned. From that day on, I have always sought for a different solution to each repeated struggle – and little by little I found my path.

When we met again, I asked what I should do to organize a little my spiritual quest, which seemed to be leading nowhere. Here is what he answered:

“Don’t try to be coherent all the time; discover the joy of being a surprise to yourself. Being coherent is having always to wear a tie that matches your socks. It means being obliged to keep tomorrow the same opinions you have today. What about the world, which is always in movement? As long as it doesn’t harm anyone, change your opinion now and again, and contradict yourself without feeling ashamed - you have a right to that! It doesn’t matter what the others may think – because they are going to think that way no matter what.”

“But we are talking about faith.”

“Exactly! Go on doing what you do, but try to put love in every gesture: that will be enough to organize your quest. Usually we do not lend value to the things we do every day, but those are the things that change the world around us. We think that faith is a task for giants, but just read a few pages of the biography of any holy man and you will discover an absolutely ordinary person – except for the fact that they were determined to share the very best of themselves with others.

“Many emotions move the human heart when it decides to dedicate itself to the spiritual path. This may be a “noble” reason – like faith, love of our neighbor, or charity. Or it may be just a whim, the fear of loneliness, curiosity, or the fear of death. None of that matters. The true spiritual path is stronger than the reasons that led us to it and little by little it imposes itself with love, discipline and dignity. A moment arrives when we look backwards, remember the beginning of our journey, and laugh at ourselves. We have managed to grow, although we traveled the path for reasons that were very futile.”

“How do I know at least that I am traveling this path with love and dignity?”

“God uses loneliness to teach us about living together. Sometimes he uses anger so that we can understand the infinite value of peace. At other times he uses tedium, when he wants to show us the importance of adventure and leaving things behind.

“God uses silence to teach us about the responsibility of what we say. At times he uses fatigue so that we can understand the value of waking up. At other times he uses sickness to show us the importance of health.

“God uses fire to teach us about water. Sometimes he uses earth so that we can understand the value of air. And at times he uses death when he wants to show us the importance of life.”

“And what do we do about the feeling of guilt that we all share?”

“At one of the most tragic moments of the Crucifixion, one of the thieves noticed that the man dying beside him was the Son of God. ‘Lord, remember me when You are in Heaven’, said the thief. ‘In truth, today you shall be with me in Heaven’, answered Jesus, turning a bandit into the first saint of the Catholic Church: Saint Dimas.

“We don’t know why Dimas was condemned to death. The Bible tells us that he confessed his guilt and that he was crucified for the crimes he had committed. Let us suppose that he did something cruel, awful enough to end his life in that fashion; yet, even so, in his final minutes of life, he was redeemed – and glorified – by an act of faith.

“Remember this example when for some reason you feel unable to continue on your path.” @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho  

A Risk of Being Real in a Relationship Brings a Certain Reward

Hello Friends,

To be there, to love, what is the price? What will it cost you to receive all you are entitled to? To be in a relationship, there is a payment that must be made if you wish to receive all you desire from the other.

If your payment is fear, withholding your true feelings, holding back, allowing fear to block the flow of truth, then you receive loneliness and validate your own lack of self-worth. This validation only breeds further feelings of alienation; you do not experience all the rich joy you can receive when your payment is genuine truth.

To share your truth is perhaps one of the scariest feelings that exists between lovers and romantic friends today.

When you take the risk
to bear your soul, expose the real you, and reveal your genuine feelings, you become vulnerable; you may be afraid that your open heart will be pierced by another.

But there is another dynamic you may wish to consider and experiment with, a tiny bit at a time.

Risk exposing your feelings.

Take a tiny risk, just as a baby takes a tiny risk with his first steps. Yes, your fears may cause you to stumble, to close your heart again. But if you are with a person you truly love, and you take a baby step to expose your truth, then you can see the reaction. Then you can see how you will be treated as you risk sharing the genuine feelings you hold inside.

If you are with a person you truly love, and you do take tiny steps to share your genuine feelings, you will find that you are rewarded with love, acceptance, and appreciation in return. Then take another step, take an action, do something special together, and watch, feel, and be amazed at the new joy you will discover.

As you take tiny steps, first with vision and will, then with action, you will find the rewards are akin to those of a baby learning to walk: “Wow, I can do it!” The baby thinks, “I will do this again!”

After many attempts of risking
to share genuine love and true feelings, you will find that you stumble back into old patterns far less than you did before. And you walk beside the one you love more easily. And soon you may want to run together – to dare to go all the way, to run, and laugh, and experience the true freedom and joy of sharing your true self, your true and honest feelings with the one person who has truly been there for you through all your past stumblings.

When you find this with another, you have found real love. You have found one with whom you can share your deepest fears, your greatest insecurities, your biggest mistakes, and still be loved and appreciated for all of who you are.

there is a reason
When you find such a person in your life, you must know there is a reason for this to have happened to you. You may choose to take a deeper look beyond the simple romantic or friendly attraction and realize that perhaps there are greater reasons, higher reasons for your finding one another.

Perhaps you are to do something together. Perhaps you are to truly be there by each other’s side, a hand to hold, arms to hug, love to feel, fun to share, friendship to grow, trust to bloom, and memories to create that you can treasure together for your life.

There have been many people who have turned their backs to the love they have found, and in each case, those people have never forgotten, nor have they ever been able to replace their true match with another. They live with regret. They live with a heart longing for the joy and beauty they once had but were too afraid to embrace fully; they turned their backs on the one they truly loved, and never found such a true love again.

Love, pure love, honest and genuine love, does not die. You can travel to every corner of the globe. You can watch the seasons pass. But no matter how far you travel or how many years have gone by since you held the one you love in your arms, your heart, your soul will never forget this one person.

the one who brings out your greatest growth
You may also find that the one who brings out your greatest growth, who makes you see all of the areas that need healing is precisely the person you may find yourself wanting to run away from. Who wants to face all of that hurt? If that happens, be wise enough to ask yourself, “Isn’t that why we have true relationships, to genuinely become the best we can be?” And how can we become our best when we ignore or run away from those areas we need to heal? We cannot.

So the one who causes you great frustration is also the one who ultimately brings you the greatest joy: the discovery of the genuine you.

Once you do grow through the challenges, the rewards of such a deep and genuine understanding between two people could never be replaced by a shallow, superficial relationship. Love is a gift, and appreciation for this gift must be shown.

There is the saying, “Hurt me once, shame on you; hurt me twice, shame on me.” This universe will send you a gift of love, a true match, once. If you choose to throw this gift away, if you do not show appreciation for it, you can be certain this universe will not be foolish enough to give you a gift so rare and so special again in this life.

when he or she sees through to the core of you
You must know that when a person treasures you, when he or she sees through to the core of you and accepts you fully, with all of your faults, you have been blessed.

Now, if you love this person, if you truly do, deep inside, love this person, then give yourself this gift of love, cherish and treasure the gift you have received, for if you do not, you shall not ever know such a gift again in this life.

You will know deep down in your heart when all of the elements are there. You will feel so at peace and, at the same time, so challenged – challenged to grow, challenged to evolve and lift yourself above and beyond your fears of intimacy.

This work on self is required in order to continue experiencing the gift of this love in your life.

Debilitating fears of closeness or of opening one’s heart are also patterns that must be recognized and worked through. So ask yourself, “How can I notice when those old feelings come up?”

Become conscious of them
If you remain on automatic pilot, you will automatically sabotage the relationship.

Fear of being hurt or vulnerable is understandable and quite common. When left unnoticed, unchecked, and unattended to, however, it is also the source of pain. How do you attend to your fears? You simply acknowledge their existence. You say, "Oh look, this is what I have been feeling, this is what happens to me. Do I want this feeling or pattern to take charge, or do I prefer something different?"

It comes down to a preference, an individual choice not to react but to consciously decide how you are going to respond when you notice your fears coming to the surface. Once you become fully conscious of them, their paralyzing effect dwindles; instead of feeling smothered by an avalanche, you feel the slight sting of a pebble. Awareness of an old pattern greatly reduces its effects on you.

There is always a period of tremendous anxiety when old fears come to the surface. Realize, however, that this anxiety does, in fact, pass. It is a feeling. Feelings flow. One feeling, no matter how horrible or anxiety provoking, does not last forever.

once you notice
the anxiety coming to the surface, you become the one in charge. You are no longer run by old tapes that do not help you experience all you prefer to experience now.

Those old tapes may have served you in the past, protecting you from pain from a certain person. But now that you have found someone else, someone special, those old tapes can only be destructive.

If you become aware of your feelings and allow the anxiety to pass by sharing what you think and how you feel, then you no longer risk losing a person you may not ever be able to replace.

This is far better than allowing old, self-protective patterns that are in your comfort zone to destroy your opportunity for genuine love and genuine healing . Would you rather lose true love because it feels uncomfortable? Is that what you want?

Look around you. Think of all the people you have dated. Think of how many years you have gone without this one very special person. Do you want to lose this gift simply because it is scary for you to take personal responsibility and notice your feelings as they surface?

You do not have to be perfect.
You cannot be perfect. But if you decide to take charge of an old pattern and act to heal your inner self, you will find that the one you love will not leave your side.

all my love,

Barbara Rose, Ph.D.
Excerpt from the book Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life



"There may be no 'I' in 'team', but there's a ME if you look
hard enough."

-David Brent, from the TV show "The Office"

This past weekend has been the final two days of a three month odyssey into football and cheerleading for my 11 year old son Oliver and 9 year old daughter Clara.

The agreement we made with both Oliver and Clara was that we would support them by buying their outfits, paying their costs and driving them to and from practices and games (over 200 car journeys, but who's counting?), and that in exchange they needed to make two simple agreements with us - that they would give their best to develop their individual skills, and that they would show up and support their teams for every practice and every game, even if they decided for any reason they no longer wanted to actively participate.

Those agreements were tested continually throughout the season as Oliver struggled with inexperience, illness and fear (he weighed nearly 50 pounds less than the weight limit for his division), Clara with frustration, exhaustion and chaos (over half her cheer squad walked out less than two weeks before the final competition), and Nina and I with sheer parental overwhelm (we almost gave up before either of them even thought to).

The reason those agreements mattered to us relates to what I believe to be the two key factors in the healthy development of an individual, family, team, community, or even society:

1. Personal Responsibility

"Action springs not from thought, but from readiness for

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

We come into the world without the knowledge, strength or skills to take care of ourselves, and as such, we are naturally dependent on the people around us for our survival.

At some point, however, our dependence becomes more a matter of choice than necessity. This is the point where we have developed sufficient skills and awareness to take responsibility for our own continued learning and development.

It is the point where we no longer blame our teachers for a failing grade on a test or our quarterback for a dropped ball in the end zone - the shift from "who's fault is this?" to "what can I do in this moment to make things more the way I want them to be?"

The fact that sometimes that question has no easy answers is why the second factor is of equal importance...

2. Awareness of Interdependence

"There is no such thing as a "self-made" man. We are made up of
thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for
us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into
the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as
our success."

-George Matthew Adams

In America in particular, "independence" has long been touted as the most prized stage of development. We go out and earn our own money, make our own way, and "don't have to depend on no-one for nothing"!

But while feeling able to take care of oneself is a wonderful milestone in any individual's development, at some point most of us come to realize that there's no such thing as true "independence".

Unless you harvest your own grain and nuts and grind them with stones ripped from the ground with your own bare hands, every time you have a peanut butter sandwich you are benefiting from the work of dozens of other people who have made the raw ingredients available to you. (Not to mention the employers and/or customers who have exchanged their money with you so that you could buy those raw ingredients from the shop.)

On a professional football team, the highest paid players are generally the quarterback, running back, wide receiver and left tackle. But to say those players are more important to the success of the team than any other player or coach is like saying the engine is more important to the car than the steering wheel, the tires or the rear-view mirror. The fact is that if any part of the car isn't working properly, that car isn't going to get very far.

Here's the key:

*When you combine taking personal responsibility with an awareness of interdependence, you put the "I" back in "team".*

Two weeks ago Oliver's personal responsibility and natural ability led to his having a breakthrough game, starring as running back, wide receiver and defensive end. It seemed a perfect warm-up to the biggest game of the year - the homecoming game against the Wilshire Tiny Mites.

Unfortunately, he spent much of the intervening week sick in bed and was still throwing up the morning of the homecoming game. Although he went through drills with his team before the game, the trainer made the decision that he wouldn't be able to play and he had to sit on the bench and watch his team take the field without him.

As I watched him sitting on the bench, head bowed as the rest of his team went out to play, I wondered how this game would affect what he took away from the season. If they played well without him, would he think that his own efforts hadn't mattered? If they played poorly, would he think it had all been down to him?

Fortunately, as I sat and pondered Oliver got up and found his own way of putting the "I" back into his team. He stood up and joined the other players on the sideline. During time outs, he grabbed the water bottles and made sure his friends were able to refresh themselves. Just before half-time, I saw him dragging the cooler full of Gatorade and orange slices over to the shade so they would be there waiting for his team as they came off the field.

Although in the end his team lost the game, they finished strong as a team - and in that sense, every kid walked off the field as a winner.

Today's Experiment:

1. What 'teams' are you on in your own life? That is, what groups of people do you work with or alongside of in pursuit of a shared goal?

2. For each 'team' you are a part of, identify that shared goal? Be as explicit as you can.


Team: Parents at my child's school
Shared Goal: To give our kids the best possible grounding for happy, productive lives

Team: My company
Shared Goal: To create a high-impact, high-profit company - doing well by doing good

3. This week, practice noticing how everything you do is a function of both giving the gift of your personal responsibility and receiving the gifts of interdependence.


Personal Responsibility:

*I choose to sit here and write, even though there are a dozen other things clamoring for my attention

*I choose to continue on until the job is done

Awareness of Interdependence:

Without the people who have taken the time to share their wisdom with me, I wouldn't have the insights to know what to write. Without the thousands of people I hope will be reading this, I would not be taking the time to write it. Without the people who hire me as their coach, buy my books and products, I wouldn't be able to afford the time to write it. (This doesn't even take into account that I am able to type these words because of a teacher in the 4th grade and all the people who developed not only this computer but the software that allows me to share this with people in over 80 countries around the world!)

As I read back through this tip, I'm reminded of one of my favorite stories about a minister who is driving through the heartland of America when he comes across a truly glorious farm being tended to by a lone farmer.

Keen to remind the farmer of the source of his blessings, the minister pulls over to the side of the road and calls the farmer over.

"The lord has blessed you with a beautiful farm," said the minister.

After a few moments reflection, the farmer nodded his assent. "He certainly has, Reverend - but you should have seen it when he had it all to himself!"

Have fun, learn heaps, and bless yourself...

With love,



Be kind to yourself and others.
Come from love every moment you have.
Speak of love with others.
Remind each other of your spiritual purpose.
Never give up hope.
Know that you are loved.

It still amazes me how often spirit sends us clues about the real nature of life. This I took to be a clue about compassion, the closest value to love itself. To be compassionate is not to take pity; it is to extend care to others simply because you see their need. Most of us give because doing so increases our self-image or because we expect something in return, although it's difficult to be entirely honest about that. Give because you have to—this is love in action, having no doubt about itself. There is no question of anyone else having to deserve your compassion. If you have it to give, you will give it where it is needed.

I don't think compassion is very well understood. In the West we have been misled by the word itself—the Latin roots of compassion mean "to suffer with." Yet compassion does not have to entail suffering alongside someone else. To be in touch with God's love is the root of compassion. Trying to exercise compassion without this connection will only lead to failure. If I see you in extreme distress, putting my attention on your suffering is the same as participating in it, and the amount of love I can actually direct to you will therefore be diminished.

Compassion, to be full, has to be founded on unconditional love, which is not attached to suffering of any kind. Compassion, besides being connected to God's love, sees everyone as connected to it in the same way. Even if you are presently in pain, you are not without love. Since God is compassionate, no one's experience of pain is a punishment. There is love somewhere inside. Suffering is hard to perceive as love when it is occurring, and many times it isn't perceived as a lesson for growth either.

This is where compassion has most value; it allows me to step in and remind you that you are loved, not in theory but in the flesh. All of us feel our pain keenly while the pain is present; there is little room for reflection on the spiritual value, if any, of what we are going through. But the fact that the mind is dominated by pain doesn't negate love's purpose. A time will come, a state of awareness will grow, that transcends the suffering. Spirit will dominate the mind instead. By bringing compassion to you, I can reassure you that you are not abandoned; you are just at a difficult crossroads on the journey of love.

By practicing the Code of Compassion, you will be open to receive every lesson on the path in the spirit in which it is given—as an expression of divine love. The horrors of the world are undeniable, and few people even dream that they will go away. But they will, because love is the supreme reality, compared to which all else is temporary, fleeting, and unreal.



"People say you should let your money work for you. I prefer to
do the work and let my money relax."

-Jerry Seinfeld

We've all heard the saying 'Do what you love and the money will follow'. But what do you do if it doesn't?

I once went on a seminar for budding film makers where the overwhelming mood was one of pessimism, helplessness and even despair at the difficulty in getting funding for producing and distributing independent movies.

After a particularly inspirational talk by one independent film producer about her idea for an upcoming project, someone stood up and in a voice dripping with cynicism said 'Sounds great - but where's the money going to come from?'

Without missing a beat, the producer said "From wherever it is now."

In this past week, a client of mine sent me an e-mail about an artist friend raising a similar question:

"She has done all this work, both inner and outer, and is now at a point where her savings are running out. It looks like she will have to take a job to support herself. She feels quite sad about this, and thinks that working at something she doesn't want to do will take a lot of time and energy away from continuing to work on what she really wants to do."

This is actually a remarkably common dilemma - wanting to be paid for doing what you love but needing the money to live your  life in the meantime.

Here is an excerpt from my reply:

"It's very difficult to have a successful business when your life sucks. Not impossible, just difficult. If you're spending all your time and energy worrying about money, it's going to affect every aspect of your business, encouraging you to make poor business decisions (because you 'need' the money), negotiate poor business deals (because you 'need' the money), and basically be led around by the nose by fear and greed (because you 'need' the money).

In that sense, we can make a fairly universal business guideline which says:

*Don't 'need' the money!*

How do we actually do that?

Two main ways:

1. Recognize that your well-being is not dependent
on your bank balance

2. Have more money

Two ways to have more money:

1. Make more of it

2. Keep more of it

There is a big difference between taking a job because you've been defeated by the money monster in the Valley of the Giants and taking a job as part of your financial freedom/'Wow!' goal project.

If you recognize that you need $3000 a month to live comfortably, one of the best goals you can set yourself is to have $18,000 in a reservoir savings account before you go full time with your 'heart' business. Along the way, you can continue to be building and working that business while you earn your keep through other sources.

Nearly everyone I know who's broken through financially to doing what they love as a successful business (myself included) had to at some point stop trying to control where the money came from and open up to it coming from wherever it wants to come from. It's like the old joke about God and the true believer who died in the flood - 'I sent you a car, a boat, and a helicopter - all you had to do was climb on board!'"

While that may sound 'too easy' for those of you going through money worries of your own, here's what happened with my client's friend:

She made a list of all the things she loved to do (even those that weren't to do directly with her art) and all the things she didn't like about the prospect of full-time employment. Within hours, she was inspired to post an e-mail to a nanny website and a few hours later she received a reply from a wealthy family in her neighborhood.

Less than 72 hours after letting go of trying to control where the money came from, she had agreed to a well-paid position cooking and looking after a young child (two things she loved doing) which gave her the time and money to do her art with ease and freedom.

And as for my client?

She wrote me that within 72 hours of letting go of trying to 'make' money come exclusively from her spiritual teaching, she has allowed herself to be hired to coach singing (something she loves doing) by someone who attended one of her yoga classes!

Today's Experiment:

1. What is your life's work? That is, if you could be paid to do what you love, what would you choose to be paid to do?

2. Figure out how much money you want to have each month while you are working towards doing what you love as a 'full-time job'.

3. Create a ritual for yourself where you let go of trying to tell God, life or the universe where the money has to come from. Imagine yourself opening up to the money coming in 'from wherever it is now'.

4. Follow up with any inspired actions that occur to you over the next 72 hours!

Have fun, learn heaps and please share your experiences of working with today's tip on the Genius Catalyst forums:

With love,

The Gift of Total Responsibility

heart in the sand

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called Ho'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more. I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does--but that may be wrong.

The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist.

He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years.That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,' he told me. 'Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.' I was in awe.' Not only that,' he went on, 'but the staff began to enjoy coming to work.

Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?

'I was simply healing the part of me that created them,' he said. I didn't understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life - simply because it is in your life - is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

If you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in h'oponopono means loving yourself.

If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again, he explained.

That's it? 'That's it.'

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.

Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message.

This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you,' I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying 'I love you,' I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

I later attended a Ho'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive.

He praised my book, and told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

'What about the books that are already sold and out there?' I asked.

'They aren't out there,' he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. 'They are still in you.' In short, there is no out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves.

Suffice It to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it with love.
~Author Unknown

Many blessings to you,
Jafree & Margot

Needs and Wants

“It is important to differentiate between
your needs and your wants. Your needs are few, while your wants can be
limitless. In order to find freedom and bliss, minister only to your needs.
Stop creating limitless wants and pursuing the will-o’-the-wisp of false
happiness. The more you depend upon conditions outside yourself for
happiness, the less happiness you will experience.”

Look at what’s really important to you – things like peace of mind,
tranquility, and the ability to help others – and restructure your life so
that these are your top priorities.

“People will have half as much as they have now, but they will be
twice as spiritual.”

Paramhansa Yogananda,

Whatever I do in life,

 I give it my full attention. Like a laser beam,

I burn from before me all problems, all obstructions!

- Swami Kriyananda


"Find the center of the cyclone of life and you'll discover deep
profound peace." ~Unknown

The mind often acts like a storm of energy and information spewing
out all sorts of thoughts and ideas about what its world should look
or feel like. It can make the world around you seem chaotic,
overwhelming, and almost too much to handle. Your mind may be very
busy all day long, spinning around, chattering 1000 miles an hour
about this and that. It's as if your mind is caught in its own
windstorm that it has created. Spinning around in thoughts can make
your life appear as if it is off course. It can feel like you are
being tossed in many different directions as your mind throws out
random thoughts at you like: "Hurry up! Why did you say that? Do you
have time for this? This is so interesting. You got to get to work.
What am I having for dinner?"

Living in the mind can be completely exhausting. It's a good thing
that there are many ways to turn off the spin cycle. With each of
these thoughts slamming into you, you may notice that you have the
choice to react to them or just watch them sail by. By reacting to
all of the crazy mind chatter, you will be thrown back into the
tornado of life. Yet, by "sitting back" from your mind and becoming
the observer, you will discover that you can create a comfortable
distance from every thought that passes by. Finding this observer in
you is where you become the master of the winds of your psyche.

Often we become sooooo fixated on our thoughts that we cannot find
our inner observer. If this seems to be the case for you, then it's
time to use stronger disciplinary measures. Several times randomly
throughout your day try this experiment. Right now, take a deep
breath into your body. That's right, take this deep breath in now,
and notice how it feels to breathe. Now after you exhale, in your
inner world, shout the message "STOP" to your mind, and then let your
body become solid and completely still like a stone statue. Even stop
breathing for as long as you can, and explore this stillness. Show
the mind that you are the boss here and let the frozen-like energy
cease all activity inside. Let everything come to a complete halt and
focus your attention inside on WHO or WHAT is looking. While it may
take 30 seconds or more to find the calm present eternal observer,
you will soon be free and at peace in the center of your cyclone.

Set the intention right now to make time every day to recognize the
illusionary nature of this storm. All of your concerns,
responsibilities, and fears are created by the mind, and are truly an
illusion. In this present moment, there is really nothing that has to
be done. You are connected with Existence and that is enough. You
don't have to do anything or be someone special to continue to exist.
Your mind may believe that something important needs to get done, or
else you will die. Yet, this is the type of fear-based thinking that
creates those 300 hundred mile hour winds and a hurricane lifestyle.
The truth is that you are complete, whole and truly perfect exactly
as you are NOW in this very moment. You don't have to do a thing to
be "perfect". You were born Divine. No matter what happens in the
chaotic outer world, your divine inner nature will always remain
untouched, undamaged, and complete. Believe this for 24 hours and see
what happens.

Yes, you no longer have to suffer in this storm. You can find the
oasis of calm that lies at the middle of each moment. The secret is
to learn how to quiet the mind and reconnect with your Divine Nature.
The easiest way to do this is to remain in a state of being present
to what is. This can be done through meditation. The more you
meditate, the more you realize that you are not your mind, and that
you are infinite and untouched by any winds blowing around you.
Meditation is just sitting in silence and watching the crazy mind
chatter as it comes and goes. It is like sitting and watching the
distant clouds move across a peaceful blue sky background. Your true
eternal essence is the blue sky and your thoughts are the clouds. The
more you observe these thoughts without buying into them or getting
caught up in them, the more you detach and find this vast infinite
stillness inside of you. Over time, you will be able to recognize the
silliness of getting caught in the mind and become truly freed from
it's grasp. It will be a glorious day when you remain centered no
matter what crazy storm is brewing around you.

May you enjoy new levels of inner peace,
Margot & Jafree

What is This Surrender Thing about Anyway?

Greetings Friends,

What is surrender really all about?

So many of us, in the past including me, think too much. We worry, plan, doubt, and fight both ourselves and those we love. So I asked: "What is surrender really all about?" I received my answer, and much to my amazement, it isn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be.

So here it is:
Each of us Came into this life to create the highest and best version of ourselves that we can possibly become. This encompasses all aspects of our lives: all aspects of us. Not just our bank account, career stature, relationships, or acquisitions.
It encompasses every part of who we are within: Every part of our BEING that you and I ultimately want to bring forth in our observable life, from within, to the outside. There is a higher part of our consciousness. You can give this any name you prefer. The higher part of ourselves sees and knows exactly who we want to be. The grandest version we have of ourselves on every level. We can look at where we are now in our lives, and compare that to how we ideally would love to be.

For example: I used to be quite needy and clingy in relationships. I felt insecure. I thought I needed to have a committed relationship in order to be happy. I used to tolerate a lot, sacrifice my own self-respect, and not rock the boat out of fear. However, deep inside, I genuinely wanted to BE independent, confident, strong, and have the guts to go with the flow while I showed respect to myself, towards anyone who was in my life, and passionately thrive on every level as a whole and complete individual. Whatever is out of our comfort zone is the precise area that we are consciously resisting, because we are afraid. Thus it is in the explicit unconscious reaction where we find ourselves not bringing out our best, but instead, stagnating. This is the precise area where surrender is key, to move precisely in that direction, because ultimately, the release of this fear will bring out who we authentically are - our highest and best version of ourselves. After enough pain and regret, ultimately, we do 'surrender' however we are not giving up anything other than old outmoded patterns of expressing ourselves that completely go against the best self we can genuinely express.


When you feel fear
So when you feel fear, or resistance, please know that it is a sign, a knock on the door of your consciousness that says: "Hey, this is bothering you, and upsetting you, because this is NOT who YOU REALLY ARE! This is the part of you that you learned throughout the course of your life to keep you from pain. However, being you are in some measure of pain NOW, your feelings of resistance are trying to get you to surrender."
To what? To the real you. Once you are aware, you can then take the next step, which is action. At the onset of this process, you will naturally feel great fear, because you are moving into personal territory that is unfamiliar to you.


The key
The key is to do exactly what you fear most, as long as it does not bring harm to your or anyone, and there, in that sublime moment, you have actually conquered your fear, shed the belief that whatever you are resisting will ultimately hurt you, and as a result, you are now BEING the REAL you. So when you surrender you are not leaping into a void of no return. You are leaping into the highest version of YOU that you have always wanted to become. That is all "surrender" truly means. Surrendering to the real you, as opposed to the person that you thought you needed to be in order to feel safe. Inner safety is for cowards. Inner risk is for the courageous. Why do you think so many people love the underdog; the one who made it in ANY area of their life?
There are great examples of people who conquered an addiction, or a fear of moving into a business venture that was passionately created from the inside out, which meant so much more than their seeming outer security, pension or retirement. Even the battered women who are petrified to leave, but somehow, find the guts from within to walk, as well as the men and women who finally become authentic, and risk showing love, rather than keep their beautiful hearts in the isolation of their comfort zone.

The only comfort zone
The only comfort zone that brings fulfillment, and reward, is risk. Without risk, there is no life. With it, you live passionately. Once you do surrender to the area in which you personally find your greatest resistance, it is in that area, you will find the most profound rewards you can fathom. Surrender to your rewards. They are waiting for you. Your rewards are the greatest you that you came into this life to create.
I dare you to do it - for you.

Igniting the Process
Okay, the mini thesis above explained the mystery of surrender. Now here is how to go about actually doing it. You can apply this to ANY and EVERY area of your life where you feel uncomfortable or resistant.

feel your feelings of resistance.

NOTICE what you are feeling. Take a step back and acknowledge the feelings to yourself. Admit it! Say: "I feel afraid."

accept this feeling. Tell yourself it is okay to have this feeling. Just as you would accept that you are thirsty, even after you had a glass of water, a feeling is just a feeling, so, accept it without judgment.

release all negative judgment about having this feeling. Do you judge yourself for feeling cold on a winter night? Do you judge yourself for feeling afraid to sky dive? Many people feel like they are skydiving in varied areas of their lives. Simply accept whatever feeling you have, and tell yourself that it’s okay to have this feeling, period.

Ask yourself what you would genuinely prefer deep in your heart. How do you prefer to BE? If you didn't feel afraid, or label yourself and your feelings, what, precisely, would you be doing?

acknowledge that the highest and best person you are within is trying to come out. Acknowledge that this is your personal evolutionary process, and respect yourself for going through this process. Do you judge a flower seed for not blooming two days after it is planted? No. You respect and honor the process of its individual growth. I assure you that you are worthy of the same respect you give to plant life.

Seventh: DO IT! Whatever it is, no matter how many labels you gave to yourself in the past. No matter how many prior fears held you back before. That is your HISTORY; it is not your destiny. Your destiny exists solely in one moment - NOW. Even if you’re trembling, DO what you genuinely WANT to do. The first time is the hardest. After this it’s like a snowball going downhill. Your confidence will increase. Your inner self will be coming to the surface.

give yourself a much-deserved pat on the back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome home - to the REAL you. With much love, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barbara Rose, Ph.D.

Finding Pleasure in Everyday Life

"I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are not substitutes for joy."

--C.S. Lewis

~*~ Topic of the Week - Finding Pleasure in Everyday Life ~*~

A few years ago, my friend Helen gave me the following quote by British
novelist, Iris Murdoch, on a tiny slip of paper:

"One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats."

For some reason, this simple line struck a cord with me and I've kept it
with me ever since. Over the last few months, it's been a helpful
reminder of how the little things we do that bring us pleasure can be an
enormous gift of comfort during difficult times. This week, I thought I'd
share a few of my favorite examples with you in the hopes that you find
one or two new ideas that might bring you a little happiness, too.

Here are some of the things I do that bring pleasure to life:

~*~ Get lost in a good novel.
~*~ Eat really good gum drops.
~*~ Run in the rain when it's warm out.
~*~ Bake a cake for our construction crew.
~*~ Leave funny messages on a friend's voicemail.
~*~ Put a few drops of a favorite essential oil on my pillow at bedtime.
~*~ Spend the day working in a comfy well-worn t-shirt and flannel pants.
~*~ Stay up late and watch back-to-back episodes of LOST on DVD.
~*~ Take long, hot baths with my great smelling oils and candles.
~*~ Warm the bed with an electric blanket well before I go to sleep.
~*~ Sit quietly and complete a round of prayers on a special set of prayer
beads I keep by my bed.
~*~ Collect meaningful quotes in a journal to read when I need a little
~*~ Buy a beautiful teacup at a local antique shop and use it as soon as I
get home.
~*~ Sit on the deck of our new house and search for Monarch butterflies.
~*~ Put lots of Nourishing Lavender Lotion on my feet with warm socks
before going to bed.
~*~ Sit by the window with a cup of tea and watch squirrels scurrying
around collecting acorns in the backyard.

These small acts of pleasure cost very little money (if any), and can
easily fit into a busy day. If you take a few moments to think about it,
I bet you can come up with your own list of pleasures -- the kind of
things that add joy to your day, soothe your heart, or calm your mind when
things get crazy.

When we're going through a stressful time, it's easy to lose track of the
things that make us feel good. So, years ago I made a list in a journal
and copied it so I'd always have access to it. Over time, I've added to
it as well. It's a great exercise -- something you could do right now.
See our "Take Action Challenge" below and get a head start on adding a
little more joy to your life. Remember, pleasure is good for the soul.

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

What brings you pleasure? Stop for a moment and jot down four or five
things that you do to make yourself feel comforted. Do you sing, listen
to great music, doodle, or buy yourself flowers? Once you have a few
ideas in mind, do one of them today. If you have a hard time thinking of
examples, don't worry. It only means that it's been too long since you've
thought about your soul-care. Close your eyes and scan your past for
clues. They're there. Just wait . . .


"The gold is in the dark."

-Carl Jung

One of the things which happens every time I teach an NLP
training is my senses are tuned up to a higher level and I begin
noticing things that I wouldn't normally notice in my day to
day life.

While leading the NLP practitioner training in London a few
weeks back, I became particularly aware of the number of times
that people attempted to describe their feelings in terms of
pictures, metaphors or internal dialogue instead of actual
physical sensations.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with this, it does tend
to keep people dissociated from what it really feels like to be
in your body. And while that means you might be able to take
the edge off some of your less comfortable feelings, it means
the edge is being continually taken off your most wonderful
feelings as well.

So before we go any further, answer this question:

*How do you feel, right now?*

If you like, you can write down your answer on a piece of paper
before reading on. If not, just notice that there are quite a
few different ways to answer, and most of them take you away
from simply feeling whatever is going on in your body, right

Here are some of the most common types of answer to the

1. Judgements and Comparisons

Whether you think you feel 'good', 'bad', 'comfortable',
'uncomfortable', 'horrible' or 'fantastic', you actually feel
none of those things - you simply feel how you feel and then
weigh up your feeling upon a mental scale of possibilities.

Similarly, if you say you feel 'better' or 'worse', you are
pushing away your current feeling in order to better compare it
with a different feeling - and researchers have now shown how
completely unreliable those emotional comparisons can be. (See
"Stumbling On Happiness" in the 'Want to Learn More?' section
at the end of the tip to learn more.)

2. Analogies

Another way of answering the question 'how do you feel?' is in
terms of an analogy - 'like an elephant is sitting on my chest',
'like the cat that got the cream', or even 'I feel like sh%t!'

In order to describe your feelings in this way, you have to
actually make a comparison to something else, and in order to do
that chances are you are listening to an inner voice telling
you about it or seeing an inner picture. Remember, this is not
a bad thing - it's just not the same as feeling what you are
feeling in your body.

3. Neutralizers

In the remake of the movie 'The Italian Job', Donald Sutherland
asks Mark Wahlberg's character how he feels.

'I'm fine', says Wahlberg.

'You know what 'fine' means don't you?' replies Sutherland.
'Fu**ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.'

'Neutralizers' like "fine", "OK", and "not bad" are all ways of
keeping our feelings at a distance - which is not a bad thing
to do unless you want to actually feel joyful, alive and filled
with energy!

4. Emotions

An emotion is not a feeling - it's a generalized description of
a set of sensations. And while answering the question 'how do
you feel?' with an emotional description (i.e. "I feel happy" or
"I feel sad") is a step closer to your actual feelings than any
of our previous options, it is based on an incomplete
perception of what it is going on in your body. While one set
of feelings may be in the foreground of your perception, its
opposite will always be somewhere in the background. (See
today's experiment for a fun experience of this phenomenon.)

So what is a feeling?

It is simply an internal sensation, like 'warm', 'tingly',
'cool', 'tight', or 'loose'. You may feel one thing in one part
of your body and something completely different in another,
though we are often only aware of one dominant sensation in any
given moment.

Your ability to perceive these inner sensations is called
'proprioception', which literally translated means 'one's own

While you may prefer certain feelings to others, there is no
inherent good, bad, right or wrong to what you're feeling - and
more importantly, there is no need for any external explanation
of why you feel it.

Because the wonderful thing about feelings is that they're just
feelings. You don't need to do anything about them, although
you can. But every time you take the time to really feel what
you're feeling, you get to feel more alive as well.

And even though 'alive' isn't a feeling, it sure feels
wonderful, doesn't it?

Today's Experiment:

(Today's experiment is based on the work of Hale Dwoskin,
creator of 'Holistic Releasing')

1. Tune into your body, right now. Ask yourself "What am I
feeling, right now?"

2. Notice there are many sensations going on simultaneously.
Speak four or five of those sensations aloud along with where in
your body you are feeling them.

For example:

"I feel a cool tickly feeling behind my eyes; I feel a sharp,
tight tingling feeling in my nose; I feel a heavy sensation in
the back of my neck; etc."

3. Now, notice how completely opposite feelings and emotions can
be present at exactly the same time.

Ask yourself the following questions as many times as you like:

a. Could I let myself feel as
(feeling/emotion/judgement/comparison) as I do?

b. Could I let myself feel as (opposite
feeling/emotion/judgement/comparison) as I do?

Here are some pairs of opposites which are fun to explore:


You may notice that after only a few repetitions, the feelings
begin to shift or even dissolve into one another.

Have fun, learn heaps, and happy exploring!

With love,

PS - I thought today's tip might be a bit obscure, but I also
'felt' like writing it. Let me know how you 'feel' about it

The Most Important Attitude

I have good friend name Caroline. I absolutely love spending time with her. No matter what we do or where we go, everyone always has a great time.

I grew up in Florida. I’ve spent more days at Disney theme parks than you could possibly imagine. And while I enjoy visiting Mickey Mouse and friends, I have to admit that the “wonder” of it all doesn’t hit me quite the way it used to.

So Caroline came to visit and several of us decided to go to Epcot– that’s where Caroline wanted to go. Honestly, I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to go to Epcot (no offense, Mickey)… but it’s just not my style.

Nevertheless, I booked our reservations at the Disney Beach Club (one of their hotels) and decided to go with the flow.

From the moment we arrived on Disney property, Caroline was like a little kid. Her face shined as she smiled at everyone… saying hi… making friends everywhere we went. The moment she saw the resort she was in awe.

It didn’t matter what we did or where we went, Caroline was in wide-eyed wonder. To her, everything was extraordinary. Even the bathroom soap, in the shape of mouse ears.:)

Just being around that type of energy made the experience all the more special. The day we spent at Epcot was one of the most enjoyable times I’ve ever had at any park. It was like Christmas with little children who get swept away in the magic of the Season.

So, what’s the point?

You see, Caroline is an “appreciator“… she approaches everything in life (whether it’s a Disney theme park or walking her dog, Mo) with an attitude of gratitude and appreciation.

That’s the secret!

You must practice an ATTITUDE OF GRATTIUDE.

There are two kinds of people in life… Appreciators and Depreciators.

are grateful for everything… they count their blessings big and small. They build people up,
encourage, support and raise the overall energy level and mood everywhere they go.

Depreciators do the opposite. Nothing is ever good enough. They’re quick to criticize and point out what’s wrong or what’s missing. They complain, make negative comments and are quick to find fault with others. You can tell when you’re in the presence of a depreciator because they zap you of your energy… they can bring an entire room down by just showing up.

You can’t experience a life of success, health, wealth and abundance and be a depreciator. You can’t focus on what’s wrong, what’s missing, what isn’t, what you don’t have or all the shortcomings of others and expect to experience a flood of health, wealth, happiness
and abundance in your life. It just can’t happen.

The “shortcut” to the life you want… the life of your DREAMS… is to practice an ATTITUDE OF GRATTIUDE in everything you do

When you’re grateful… when you have an attitude of gratitude… you put yourself in a place to attract only good things in your life. Gratitude brings you closer to your Creator… it opens a flood of abundance into your life.

So this is your chance to put yourself on the fast lane to the life of your dreams. It’s a change you can make right now, this very minute. When you do, you’ll instantly feel better and the results will follow shortly.

I recommend keeping a “Gratitude Journal” where you record your blessings… everything to be grateful for…no matter how big or small. Then we’re feeling down you can open your journal and read a few lines and immediately be reminded that you are supremely blessed.

Why not start now?

The thing is GRATITUDE is a STATE OF MIND. It’s not so much about specific “things” to point out… it’s more a practice… a way of life. It’s where you live. It’s who you are.

To help get yourself in the groove, stop and think through your life and realize how blessed you are. Take a few minutes to really BE THANKFUL and GRATEFUL for everything.

I’m grateful for so much in my life. Every day is an extraordinary gift… a chance to celebrate. Think about who you love and who loves you… and be thankful.

Gratitude… it’s the key that unlocks Heaven’s doors and unleashes an avalanche of abundance in your life. So begin living with an attitude of gratitude today.

I’m grateful for you… for the opportunity to share with you and bring you messages of hope and inspiration. You are blessing in my life.

Go practice Gratitude!

My unforgettable character


When I was a child I used to read a magazine that my parents subscribed to, which had a section called “My unforgettable character” for common people to talk about other common people who had influenced their lives. Of course, at that age (nine or ten), I also had already created my influential personality. On the other hand, I was certain that over the years this model would change, so I decided not to write to the magazine and submit my opinion (today I wonder how in those days they would have received the collaboration of someone my age).

Time has passed by. I have met many interesting people who have helped me at difficult moments and inspired me and shown me paths that had to be traveled. However, the great myths of childhood have always proved more powerful; they go through periods of devaluation, contestation and oblivion, but they remain, appearing on necessary occasions with their values, examples and attitudes.

My unforgettable character was called José, my grandfather’s youngest brother. He never married, worked as an engineer for may years, and when he retired he decided to live in Araruama, a city near Rio de Janeiro. That is where the whole family went to spend the summer holidays with the children. Uncle José was a bachelor, so he probably did not have much patience with that invasion, but that was the only moment when he could share a little of his loneliness with his grandnephews and nieces. He was also an inventor, and to accommodate us he decided to build a house where the rooms only appeared during the summer! He pressed a button and the walls descended from the roof, the beds and cupboards emerged from the outer walls, and there we had four bedrooms to lodge the newly-arrived! When Carnival was over, the walls were raised, the furniture went back inside the outer walls and the house was once more a big empty s! hed where he kept material for his workshop.

He built cars. Not just that, but he made a special vehicle to take the family to Araruama Lake – a mixture of jeep and train on tires. We went swimming, lived close to nature, spent the whole day playing, and I always wondered: “But why does he live here all alone? He has money, he could live in Rio!” He told stories of his trips to the United States, where he had worked in coal mines and ventured to places never visited before. The family used to say: “It’s all lies”. He was always dressed as a mechanic, and all the relatives commented: “He should get himself some decent clothes”. As soon as television came to Brazil, he bought a set and put it on the sidewalk so that the whole street could see the programs.

He taught me to love things done with the heart. He showed me the importance of doing what you wanted to do, regardless of what the others said. He sheltered me when as a rebellious adolescent I had problems with my parents. One day he told me: “I invented the hydramatic (the automatic gear shift in a car). I went to Detroit, got in touch with General Motors; they offered me US$ 10,000 on the spot or one dollar for every car sold with this new system. I took the ten thousand and lived the most fantastic years of my life.”

The family used to say: “Uncle José is always inventing things, don’t believe him.” And although I felt deep admiration for his adventures, for his style of life, for his generosity, I did not believe that story. I told journalist Fernando Morais about it only because Uncle José was my unforgettable character.

Fernando decided to do some checking and here is what he came up with (the text has been edited, because it is part of a long article):

The first automatic gear shift was invented by the Sturtevant brothers from Boston in 1904. The system did not work satisfactorily because of a problem with weight. But it was the invention of Brazilians Fernando Iehly de Lemos and José Braz Araripe, sold to GM in 1932, that contributed to the development of the hydramatic system launched by GM in 1939.”

With millions of hydramatic cars being turned out every year, the family who never believed in anything and thought that Uncle José dressed badly could have inherited an incalculable fortune. How good it is to know that he enjoyed some happy years spending his ten thousand dollars!

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho  



"There is chaos under the heavens and the situation is

-Mao Tse Tung

One of the few perks of going through a period of loss, crisis
and/or suffering is that when you come out the other side (and
nearly everyone does, sooner or later), you realize that you are
a lot stronger than you probably thought you were, and that
strength doesn't leave you even after the crisis has past.

My first real experiences of this came in my second year of my
theatre degree when I was placed with a group of my colleagues
on probation for the final six weeks of the school year.
Whichever one of us got it together and performed well in the
final productions would get to stay in the professional actor
training program and ultimately audition for the top agents and
casting directors in New York and LA; the others would be
downgraded to a 'Theatre Arts' program where we would spend our
time studying the role of politics in the oeuvre of Bertolt
Brecht instead of actually getting to ply our craft.

So stressful was this 'sorting' process on our ownly slightly
post-adolescent minds that in my year alone there were two
attempted suicides and one guy (who happened to be my best
friend) committed to a mental institution during this time

While I would like to say I handled the situation with ease and
grace, the reality is I spent the vast majority of the six
weeks drunk, following my lunch time margarita with a rotor of
happy hour 2 for 1 specials which carried me through evening
rehearsals and on one or two unfortunate occasions, the
performances themselves.

Samuel Johnson once said that 'knowing one is going to die in a
fortnight focuses the mind wonderfully', and despite my often
drunken state, I began to become clear in the final days before
the decision would be made that I was not the only one

In one particular moment of clarity which I can only ascribe to
divine grace or my having run out of vodka, I realized that if
I were to go through and my fellow actors were not, I would
feel their pain as acutely as I did my own.

It was around that time that I was introduced to the ancient
Buddhist practice of 'Tonglen' - a meditation which brings
compassion to life by asking the practitioner to breathe in the
pain and suffering of others and breathe out kindness, love and

Unlike the advice of most of the well-meaning people around me
and my own instinct to avoid my pain at any cost, Tonglen
invited me to not only feel it completely but to seek it out in
the world around me.

With each in-breath, I would breathe in the pain and suffering,
anger and loss, sadness and despair; with each out-breath, I
would direct as much love, happiness and good feeling as I could
find back out into the world.

While part of me thought it was nuts to deal with my own pain by
taking on even more of it, the reality was that each time I
practiced, I felt better. If I was going to go down, as I was
sure I was at the time, I was not only not going to take anyone
with me, I was going to do all that I could that I went down

Recently, I came across a photo I took of the panel of teachers
who I had to face on the final day of term, posed in mock
seriousness like a firing squad. When they told me I had been
chosen to remain in the program, I burst into tears of disbelief
as they told me what had convinced them was my incredible
strength throughout the ordeal.

I didn't feel strong. I didn't feel worthy. I didn't think
positive, and I didn't 'believe in myself'. But I did survive,
and I did make it through, and better still a few of my
compatriots whose own fear and worry and sadness I had breathed
in on a daily basis made it through along with me.

What I learned was not only that I was a lot stronger than I
thought I was, but that I could find that strength most easily
when I used it to support the people around me. And while I
wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy, I am
eternally glad I went through it.

(Because I know some of you will ask, they changed the theatre
program the year after I left so that actors were no longer
'cut' at the end of the second year. And while it would be
unrealistic to say I completely gave up drinking, I did give up
getting drunk as a way of trying to cope with the stresses and
strains of my life!)

In today's experiment, I will introduce you to the steps of
Tonglen so you can begin to experience it for yourself. To
learn more about the practice, see the resources in this week's
'Want to Learn More?' section at the end of today's tip...


1. Open yourself up to the wholeness of the universe - the space
in which birth and death, joy and suffering, war and peace
continually arise and fall away.

2. From this place, breathe in the 'texture' of suffering. You
may imagine this as a thick, heavy black smoke. Each time you
exhale, breathe out the texture of love, kindness and
compassion - many people experience this as white, light and

3. When you have a sense for yourself of the transformation of
energy happening inside you, think of a specific person or
incident to work with. This can be a person you saw in the
street, someone you know intimately, or even a yourself.

Now, with each in-breath you are breathing in the pain of that
person or incident, and with each out-breath you are directing
the energy of love, compassion and kindness back to that person
or incident.

4. Finally, extend your transformational compassion to the wider
world - breathe in the suffering of the planet and breathe out
well-being, love and peace.

As with many practices, Tonglen is far easier to practice than
to understand. I hope you will choose to share your experiences
with me on the forums at:

Until next time,


To Uplift You and Your Life

Have you been trying to figure something out?

Have you felt uncertain about anything recently?

Did you know - -

You can receive answers

You can receive clarity

You can receive the higher perspective.

When it means so much to you,

All you need to do

Is take out a pen and paper

And ASK.

Guess what will happen?

You will receive the answers

To what is weighing on your heart

And when you do,

Remember to ask again

Anytime you feel uncertain

You will always receive REAL ANSWERS.

It is your birthright as a human being.



Your REAL Worth

To Uplift You and Your Life

Chances are great

that if you were always put down

you may still feel down about yourself.

Chances are GREATER

that when you undo all of those false beliefs

you will REALLY come into your own.

You will shine

You will bring out the best from within you

Because you have discovered

that it has been inside all this time.

What a great gift to give to yourself

Knowing who you really are

and finally living it out every moment.


A Warrior of the Light cannot always choose his battlefield.

Sometimes, in the middle of battles not of his choosing, he is taken by surprise, but there is no point in running away. Those battles will merely follow him.

Then, at the point when conflict seems almost inevitable, the Warrior talks to his opponent. Showing neither fear nor cowardice, he tries to find out why the other man wants to fight, what made him leave his village in order to seek him out to fight  this duel. Without even unsheathing  his sword, the warrior persuades his opponent that this is not a fight for him.

A Warrior of the Light listens to what  his opponent has to say. He only fights if absolutely necessary.

Paolo Coelho


The Latin root of the word responsibility reveals its true meaning: the capacity to respond, to react.

A responsible Warrior is one who has proved able to observe and to learn. he is even capable of being "irresponsible." Sometimes, he has allowed himself to be carried along by a situation, without responding or reacting.

But he always learned his lesson; he took a stand, listened to advice, and was humble enough to accept help.

A responsible Warrior is not someone who takes the weight of the world on his shoulders, but someone who has learned to deal with the challenges of the moment.

Paulo Coelho


While there is much debate in both philosophy and psychology as
to whether or not (and to what extent) we create our reality,
there is little question that we are creating our experience of
reality with the way we represent things in our mind.

In this tip, I would like to share one of my favorite tools for
exploring how you construct your experience of reality on the
inside of your mind, and how you can usefully change your
experience for the better...

On the NLP practitioner training we just completed in London,
Dr. Richard Bandler (see the 'Want to Learn More?' section at
the end of this tip to learn more) told the story of a
schizophrenic woman he worked with who couldn't tell the
difference between a real and an imagined experience. She was
convinced she had murdered her parents, although it was her
parents who drove her down to see him.

As an experiment, he asked her to imagine herself flying down to
see him, and then a few minutes later he asked her how she got
there. "I flew", she replied, surprised he would ask her such
an obvious question.

Dr. Bandler then asked the same question of the psychiatrist who
had recommended the parents to bring the girl to him. The
psychiatrist said that he 'just knew' they had driven, but when
pushed realized that the images in his mind of the family
driving were realistic and lifelike whereas the images in his
mind of the family flying were framed in a black border, like a
painting hanging in a museum.

Under hypnosis, Bandler instructed the girl's unconscious mind
to sort through her memories, placing black borders around the
ones which were just mental fantasies and only allowing those
things which had really happened to appear unbounded. Within
hours, her life had changed forever.

So how do *you* know what you know?

Think about a vacation you took which you enjoyed. Notice how
you know that you're thinking about the vacation - are you
mostly aware of the images, sounds or feelings?

Next, think about somewhere you would like to go on vacation at
some point in the future. Again, become aware of the images,
sounds and feelings associated with that 'future vacation'.

Now, here's the question:

How do you know which is which? In other words, how do you know
which one is real and which one is only imagined?

For most people, their second answer (after the accurate but not
terribly useful "I just do!") will be to point to two separate
mental images. One is of the thing which really happened,
which for most people is somewhere to the left of center; the
other is of the vacation they haven't actually taken which is
often somewhere to the right of center.

Of course, for you the difference may be that one is a movie and
one is a still image, one is color and the other black and
white, or the main differences may be to do with distance, size
or clarity of the images. You might find yourself seeing
through your own eyes in one image but seeing yourself (or
someone who looks and sounds remarkably like you) inside the
other image.

In addition, you might notice that you have different sounds
associated with the two sets of images, or different internal
dialogue ("Internal dialogue? What does he mean internal
dialogue? Like talking to yourself? I don't talk to myself.
He's nuts!" :-)

Finally, you will very probably notice different feelings
associated with the two. Each one of these details, known in
NLP as 'submodalities', is an important part of your mind's
coding of reality.

And as with any code, once you decipher it, you can begin to use
it to your own advantage...

Today's Experiment:

1. Think about a food you love and a food you hate. Notice the
difference between *how* you know which is which. It is often
useful to write down your answers to the questions below for
each of the two foods:

Are the images:

*Moving or Still?
*Color or Black and White?
*Near or Far?
*Left or right?
*Up or down?
*Life size, larger or smaller?

Do you see yourself in the picture or see through your own eyes?

Are the sounds:

*Loud or soft?
*Fast or slow?
*Left, right, or stereo?
*Constant or intermittent?

If there is internal dialogue, what is it saying?

*Is it one voice or more than one?
*Is it your voice or someone else's?

Where in the body do you feel the feelings?

Are you breathing faster or slower than normal? Deep or

Are the feelings:

*Warm or cool?
*Intense or mild?
*Constant or intermittent

If you actually take the time to go through each of these
distinctions in detail, you will find yourself becoming more and
more aware of the images, sounds and feelings you are using to
make one food more attractive to you than the other.

2. Think about the food you love and begin to play with each of
the submodalities in turn. Notice which ones make the food
seem even more desirable and which ones make it seem less

For example, many people find that bringing the image closer and
making them bigger and brighter makes the food seem more
attractive and the feelings more intense; pushing the images
further away and making them smaller and dimmer makes them seem
less attractive and the feelings less intense.

How positive an experience can you create for yourself of this
food that you love?

3. Now, if it is safe for you to do so (i.e. no allergies or
other physical reasons not to do this), swap the submodalities
so that you begin thinking about the food you used to hate in
the inner details of the food you love.

If you have done this correctly, you will have created a new
experience of that food for yourself. You may even find
yourself more and more attracted to that food (though of course,
you don't HAVE to eat it... :-)

4. Finally, take a few minutes to brainstorm ways you could use
your ability to change your internal pictures, sounds and
feelings to create a richer, more positive experience of being

With love,

Comments? Questions? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts to the new discussion forums at:

Why the Buddha waits at Heaven's Gate

By Osho

Whatsoever you do, do it with deep alertness; then even small things
become sacred. Then cooking or cleaning become sacred; they become
worship. It is not a question of what you are doing, the question is
how you are doing it. You can clean the floor like a robot, a
mechanical thing; you have to clean it, so you clean it--then you
miss something beautiful. Cleaning the floor could have been a great
experience--you missed it; the floor is cleaned but something that
could have happened within you has not happened. If you were aware,
alert, not only the floor but you yourself would have felt a deep

Clean the floor full of awareness, luminous with awareness. Work or
sit or walk, but one thing has to be a continuous thread: make more
and more moments of your life luminous with awareness. Let the candle
of awareness burn in each moment, in each act. The cumulative effect
is what enlightenment is. The cumulative effect, all the moments
together, all small candles together, become a great source of light.

The story is that when Gautam Buddha died he reached the doors of
paradise. Those doors rarely open, only once in a while, in
centuries--visitors don't come every day, and whenever someone comes
to those doors the whole of paradise celebrates it. One more
conscious-ness has attained to flowering, and existence is far richer
than it has ever been before.

The doors were opened, and the other enlightened people who had
entered into paradise before... because in Buddhism there is no God,
but these enlightened people are godly--so there are as many gods as
enlightened people. They had all gathered at the door with music,
with song and with dance. They wanted to welcome Gautam Buddha but to
their amazement he was standing with his back to the gate. His face
was still looking toward the far shore that he had left behind.

They said, "This is strange. For whom are you waiting?"
He's reported to have said, "My heart is not so small. I'm waiting
for all those I have left behind who are struggling on the way. They
are my fellow travelers. You can keep the doors closed--you will have
to wait a little for the celebration of my entering into paradise,
because I have decided to enter this door as the last man. When
everybody else has become enlightened and entered the door, when
there is nobody left outside, then my time will have come to enter."

This story is a story--it cannot be an actual fact. It is not within
your hands; once you have become enlightened you will have to enter
into the universal source of life. It is not a question of your
choice or decision. But the story is that he is still trying, even
after his death. This story arose out of what he had said he was
going to do on the last day before his death--that he would wait for
you all.

He cannot wait here any longer, he has already waited over his time.
He should have been gone by now but, seeing your misery and your
suffering, he somehow kept himself together. But it has become more
and more impossible. He will have to leave you--reluctantly--but he
will wait for you on the other shore; he will not enter paradise, it
is a promise: "So don't forget that for you, I will be standing there
for centuries. But hurry, don't let me down, and don't let me wait
too long." ~Osho

Learn to open the gates of Heaven and manifest your soul mate!
Download the guided meditation at:

May you have many revolutionary enlightening experiences today...

Many blessings,
Jafree & Margot


The Warrior of the Light behaves like a child.

people are shocked; they have forgotten that a child needs to have fun and to play, to be slightly irreverent and to ask awkward, childish questions, to talk nonsense that  not even he believes in.

And they say, horrified: "So this is the spiritual path, is it? He's so immature!"

The Warrior feels proud of such comments. And he remains in touch with God through his innocence and his joy, without ever losing sight of his mission.

The Zahir...

"It begins with a glimpse or a passing thought. It ends in obsession...."

View inside the book:

Warrior of the Light meets Evil

Sometimes Evil pursues the Warrior of the Light, and when it does he calmly invites it into his tent.

He asks Evil: "Do you want to hurt me or use me to hurt others?"

Evil pretends not to hear. It says that it knows of the darkness in the Warrior's soul. It touches wounds that have yet not healed and calls for vengeance. It mentions certaint tricks and subtle poisons that will help him to destroy his enemies.

The Warrior of the Light listens. If conversations lags,  he encourages Evil to continue talking by asking all about its various plans.

When he has heard everything, he gets up and leaves. Evil feels so weary and empty after all this talk that it does not have the strength to follow him.

Discovering The Secret of Detachment

So there you are... sitting with your legs crossed, visualizing your
new dream house, soul mate, lottery jackpot or high paying job you
want to manifest. You want it soooo much that you can almost taste
it. You have been visualizing, feeling and working on manifesting it
for quite a while now, yet for some reason nothing is happening.
Should you just throw in the towel and give up? What is stopping you
from manifesting what you so deeply desire?

Attachment could be the culprit that is blocking your manifesting
vibration. How does one know when they are experiencing attachment?
You might be suffering from an attachment when you feel that you MUST
have or experience something in order for you to feel O.K. When you
get attached to something, your entire being tenses up, and you start
to become anxious about manifesting your outcome. This anxiousness
and fear in turn lowers your manifesting vibration, and keeps you
from receiving what you deeply desire.

The feeling of attachment is very sneaky and can creep up on you when
you least expect it. In fact, you may be caught in a repetitive cycle
of being attached to someone or something without even being aware of
it. The easiest way to become aware of an attachment is to notice if
you have a contracting emotional charge around a specific outcome. Do
you feel worried or anxious when you think about manifesting (or not
manifesting) something in your life? Do you HAVE TO have this one
thing to be happy or truly free? If you feel any tight, tense or
heavy feelings when you think about having (or not having) your
desire, you are most certainly playing the game of attachment.

Every human being at some time has experienced some form of
attachment. Many years ago, I (Margot) used to get attached to having
certain people become my clients because I knew deep in my heart that
I could help them manifest a life that they loved. I soon discovered
that the more attached I became to working with them, the less likely
they would choose to become my client. This occurred because people
were subconsciously feeling my inner tension around them becoming one
of my clients, causing them to feel uncomfortable around me. After a
while I learned how to be truly 100% O.K. if they decided to work
with me or not. When I discovered how to be at peace with myself no
matter what my potential clients decided, I started to easily
magnetize many people who wanted to work with me!

The secret to manifesting is gently holding the intention of creating
whatever you want to manifest, and yet at the same time being
completely and utterly at peace with the idea of never manifesting
your desired outcome. In other words, it is the fine art of being
detached. When you are at peace with yourself AND detached from your
desired outcome, you can relax and allow the Universe to completely
and utterly support your manifestation. Detachment also enables you
to be fully open and receptive, which in turn attracts new
opportunities and people to you. Each time you are honestly detached
from having your desire manifest, it will materialize for you much
faster and far easier.

Of course, truly letting go of a deep desire is a tricky thing to do.
Using detachment as a techqnique for manifesting what you want does
not automatically guarantee that you will create the outcome you
desire. You cannot pretend to be detached while secretly hoping you
will manifest a certain outcome underneath the surface. Your mind can
pretend anything, yet your body cannot lie to the Universe. If you
are using the technique of being detached as a strategy for getting
what you want, then somewhere inside you are still attached to having
a particular outcome.

The magic of letting go of an attachment only occurs when you truly
find this joy, freedom and love for who and what you already are.
Then you can truly let go in your heart of hearts and no longer care
about the outcome. Then, the perfect outcome will always manifest
into your life. This allows the Universe to create the most
beneficial situation for your soul's evolution, and gives the
Universe more of an opportunity to send you something that is even
better than what you originally asked for.

To manifest your desires faster and easier, learn the secrets to
experiencing true joy, freedom, and the art of detachment with our 90
Day Manifesting Program! Find out more at:

Many blessings to you!
Margot and Jafree

"Remembering the Future...

The Path to Recovering Intuition"

7 keys to Intuition: Truth, Reverence, Humility, Courage, Forgiveness, Stillness and Love


Within each of us is the voice of an inner teacher-guardian that is our link to the unseen world of Soul. Its purpose is to guide and protect us. It allows us an “all-access pass” to the vast arena of Divine intelligence, potential, and power. It is called intuition. We all have it, yet sadly, most people are disconnected from it.

Using her own turbulent yet remarkable life as a narrative, along with fascinating stories from her clients, internationally renowned intuitive counselor Colette Baron-Reid shares the deeply moving and amazing story of her journey to finally accepting, and exulting in, her extraordinary gift of intuition and foresight, which had been thirsting to be heard since she was a young child.

Over the past 17 years, Colette has amassed an international client base that spans 29 countries, while offering astonishing personal insights that many consider miraculous. She now openly and generously shares that journey in Remembering the Future, which will not only leave you filled with hope and empowerment, but will guide you in rediscovering your magical gift of intuition.

By following Colette’s Seven Spiritual Keys, you’ll experience a consciously fulfilling, creative life, filled with profound harmony and opportunity. And most important, you’ll know who you really are. . . .


Colette Baron-Reid is an internationally acclaimed intuitive counselor with a client base spanning 29 countries. She has facilitated hundreds of her popular seminars and workshops on developing intuition and the art of creating reality worldwide. In addition, she’s a highly sought after and powerful motivational speaker, performer, and storyteller; is a popular guest on radio and television throughout the world; and is also a musical artist signed to the EMI Music label.

Read from the book:

Stories about arrogance


The arrogance of power

     The master and his disciple were talking at a street corner when an old woman came up to them:
     "Get away from my window!" shouted the old lady. "You are disturbing the customers". The master apologized and crossed over to the other sidewalk.
      They went on talking until an officer came up to them and said: "We need you to move away from this sidewalk. The count will be passing by here in a few moments".
     "Let him use the other side of the street", answered the master, without moving. Then he turned to his disciple and told him: "Don’t forget: never be arrogant to the humble. And never be humble to the arrogant."

The arrogance of sanctity

     The Zen monk spent ten years meditating in his cave, trying to find out the path to the Truth. While he was praying one afternoon, a monkey came up to him. The monk tried to concentrate, but the monkey drew closer and seized the monk’s sandal.
     “Damned monkey!” said the hermit. “Why have you come to disturb my prayers?”
     “I’m hungry,” said the monkey.
     “Go away! You are disturbing my communicating with God!”
     “How can you talk to God if you cannot manage to communicate with humble creatures like me?” said the monkey.
      And the monk apologized, feeling ashamed.

The arrogance of force

     The village was threatened by a tribe of barbarians. The inhabitants were abandoning their houses and fleeing to a safer place. At the end of a year they had all left – except a group of Jesuits.
      The army of barbarians entered the city without any resistance and held a great feast to commemorate the victory. In the middle of the dinner a priest appeared.
     “You came in here and drove out peace. I beg you to leave at once.”
     "Why haven’t you fled yet?" shouted the chief of the barbarians. "Don’t you see that I can run you through with my sword without blinking an eye?"
     The priest answered calmly:
     "Don’t you see that I can be run through by a sword without blinking an eye?"
     Surprised by such serenity before death, the chief of the barbarians and his tribe abandoned the place the next day.

The arrogance of envy

     In the Syrian desert, Satan told his disciples: "Human beings are always more concerned about wishing evil on others than doing good to themselves".
      And to demonstrate what he was saying, he decided to test two men who were resting nearby.
     "I have come to make your wishes come true", he said to one of them. "Whatever you want will be given to you. Your friend will receive the same thing – except double".
      The man remained in silence for a long while, and then he finally said: "My friend is content because he will have double, no matter what my wish is. But I have prepared a trap for him: my wish is that you make me blind in one eye".

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho  

Becoming Free - A Reminder of the Principles of Life

1: Life does not work through indecision. Indecision promotes blocks,
confusion and stress. Make a decision and allow life to find movement
through you. Trust yourself.

2: The 3 C's of life are Courage, Capacity and Commitment. It takes
Courage and a commitment to make many of life's decisions, and capacity
to follow them through. The 3 C's of a successful relationship are
Caring, Consideration and Communication. Communication opens the door
between us, consideration allows us to pass through it and our ability to
care for each other unites us.

3: Truth is not truth out of timing- yet it remains truth. We are the
timing to recognize truth.

4: The mind recoils from the unknown, so we seek to make everything
known, and, thus sage. Imagination is the key to the unknown- positive,
uplifting imagination.

5: For as long as we search for Our God Self, we deny that we are it.
Loving your self reveals your truth.

6: Becoming free is not changing yourself into someone you think you
should be. Becoming free is falling in love with who you are- right now.

7: Imagine a room of pitch dark and a room of bright light connected by a
door. When you open the door what happens? Light floods into the dark
room, illuminating it. Live accordingly, think thoughts of light.

8: F.E.A.R- False Evidence Appearing Real

9: Anything of the past that is unresolved is unresolved now. Living NOW
resolves the past.

10: Life flows from the inside out, never the reverse. Understand this
and you cease to be a victim.

11: Love responds- fear reacts. Love connects- fear separates. Love
uplifts- fear deflates. Love creates- fear destroys.

12: There is no such thing as a mistake- only experience. There is no
such thing as failure- only people's condemnation. There is no such thing
as success- only people's approval. Let life live through you.

13: Do not get caught up in modifying your life, allow life to change
YOU. Modification is a superficial exterior veneer, change is an inner
shift in consciousness.

14: Pain is a measure of your resistance to change.

15: Decide whether you want to be an onlooker of life or a participant.
This is the birthplace of choice.

16: You hear with your ears- but you listen with your mind. You look with
your eyes- but you see from the heart.

17: Consciousness is not contained in your body- you are the
consciousness that contains the body. Consciousness draws to itself form
through which to express

18: Your mind cannot exist in the moment. You cannot think your way into
the moment, you can only think your way out of it. This indicates that
your mind/intellect cannot set you free. Only your consciousness is aware
of NOW. True freedom is a state of consciousness.

19: We each live in our own universe, a universe of our making. It is
designed to support our beliefs and our focus. Our thoughts are our
focus, so observe your thoughts, focus on your blessings, and trust. This
is how you become a participant.

20: Practise seeing all life around you as an aspect of yourself. In this
way you shatter the illusion of separation.

21: Your mind does now know the difference between what you do want or
what you don't want, it only knows what you focus on. Many people focus
on what they don't have, what they are incapable of doing and their

22: If you focus on what you do have, it increases. If you focus on what
you don't have, you will have even less. If you focus on your
capabilities, they grow, if you focus on your health, it improves.

23: Your mind does not know the difference between a powerfully imagined
reality and a physical happening reality. Why? Because there is no

24: You only have a problem if you believe you have a problem.

25: Liv e these principles and you will be practising reality. Practise
reality until you overcome the illusion. It is only an illusion that you
are not free, now!

Author unknown †

Embracing Your Shadow, part two

"The gold is in the dark."

-Carl Jung

Last week, I shared some ideas on how you could create more
freedom in your life by embracing those parts of yourself that
you wish weren't or think shouldn't be there.

If you missed part one, you can read it online at:

This week, I want to focus on a different unowned aspect of
ourselves, sometimes referred to by Jungians as 'the positive

The positive shadow is made up of those positive traits you see
in others but think couldn't possibly be there in you. It is
the 'hiding place' of your unclaimed genius, greatness and

In the case of the positive shadow, we can see its impact in our
unfulfilled aspirations, our seemingly endless quest for
self-improvement, and often surprisingly in our personal

Whether your heroes are popular actors or musicians ('I could
never be that popular/handsome/beautiful/wealthy/successful'),
Nobel Prize winners ('I could never be that
smart/powerful/impactful') or religious super-stars ('I could
never be that wise/spiritual/enlightened'), we tend to put them
high up on a pedestal, ensuring both that we can never reach
them and that one day they'll fall from their lofty perch and
we'll be crushed.

Now, remember the two 'rules' of embracing your shadow:

1. When you disown a part of yourself, it winds up running your

2. Once you embrace or 'own' that part, it no longer runs your

To these rules, I will now add a third:

3. Whatever you admire in others, you also have within you.

The reason you haven't yet claimed the greatness within yourself
may be a simple lack of recognition (i.e. nobody told you to
look), but is often the lingering after-effect of childhood

If the people in your life when you were growing up explicitly
told you or implicitly insinuated that *you* weren't great or
special or smart or creative or artistic or whatever, chances
are you are still living out of that belief as a sort of
'post-hypnotic suggestion' in your life today.

Or you may have simply hypnotized yourself into believing it,
repeatedly telling yourself you weren't capable of doing what
the big people around you could do, usually because at that age,
you probably weren't.

Today's experiment invites you to take a closer look to where
you already exhibit those traits you so wish you had in your
life, and will also begin to wake you up from the 'not good
enough' trance so many of us spent our childhoods living in...

Today's Experiment - Reclaiming your Positive Shadow:

(This experiment is influenced by the work of Dr. John F.
DeMartini. See the 'Want to Learn More?' section at the end of
the tip to learn more!)

1. Who are the three people you most admire in the whole world?

2. For each person, ask yourself what it is about them that you
admire. What do people say about them you wish they would say
about you?

3. What's the most flattering thing that anyone could ever say
about you (even if you 'know' it's not true)?

4. Instead of creating an affirmation for any positive traits
you have identified, take some time to look for where you
already exhibit.

Here are some questions to get you started:

*Who are at least five people who already see this trait in me?

*Where have I exhibited this trait in the past? Where am I
exhibiting it in my life now? Where will I exhibit it in the

*In which of the following areas of my life do I exhibit this

a. Physical
b. Mental
c. Spiritual
d. Work
e. Finances
f. Social
g. Family

Feel free to push yourself past the first three (or three
dozen!) times you tell yourself 'nobody thinks this of me and it
is not true in any area of my life'. In the same way as you
may not have been able to find your keys or the salt or even
your car when they were right in front of you all the time, your
strengths, gifts and genius are often hidden in plain sight
until someone points them out to you.

If you really struggle with completing this experiment, you
might just be too scared to really look. In exploring this
possibility, consider these famous (though often misattributed)
words from author and speaker Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest
fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light,
not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,
fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of
God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't
feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within
us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let
our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own
fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Have fun, learn heaps, and catalyze your genius!

With love,

Comments? Questions? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts to the new discussion forums at:

Giving Hope to Tose in Need

"There isn´t enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of
one little candle."

-- Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta

~*~ Topic of the Week - Giving Hope to Those in Need ~*~

As a little girl, one of my favorite memories is of lighting candles with
my mother at church. Often after the service, we would approach the bank
of candles near the altar and kneel to pray for someone in need -- a
neighbor diagnosed with a serious illness, an aunt who lost a job, or
sometimes for people we didn't know who had experienced a disaster
somewhere in the world. Once we finished praying, we'd stand, gently pull
a matchstick from a container of sand, touch the long, thin, piece of wood
to the flame of a candle already lit by someone else, and light a candle
of our own. As a young girl I believed there was magic in that light.

This ritual has stayed with me. Often when I'm in New York for example, I
stop at St. Patrick's Cathedral to light candles. To me, the lighting of
a candle for someone in need is a powerful ritual that reflects our
connection to one another. When I touch a matchstick to a candle that's
already been lit by someone else, I imagine myself passing a tiny torch of
hope from one stranger to another with the unspoken recognition that we
need each other, that we have the power to heal each other with our love,
and that when we join together with intention, the radiance of light can
overcome any darkness.

This week, I light candles for several people. First, for my neighbors
Steve and Sue Hines (and their children Ashley, Michael, and Trevor), who
lost their son Derek this time last year when he came under attack by
enemy forces while serving in Afghanistan. Those of us in the
neighborhood watched Derek grow up to be an amazing young man filled with
integrity, grace and courage, and his presence is sorely missed in the

I also light a candle for those family members and friends who continue to
feel the pain of loss from the horrific events of September 11th. As many
of you who read my book on grace know, that event had personal
significance for me and I will never forget the thousands of people whose
lives were changed forever. I honor them and I invite you to take a
moment to remember them, too.

Finally, I light candles for those who continue to suffer from the tragedy
of Hurricane Katrina. This weekend, after watching the premier of Spike
Lee's new documentary called "When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four
Acts," I feel compelled to do what I can to spread the word about how
horrible the situation still is for so many families affected by the
hurricane. They need our light, our prayers, our resources and our ongoing

This week, along with remembering those in need, please take a moment to
light a candle. You don't need to visit a church. You can light one
right now in your own private sanctuary at home. I don't know about you,
but I still choose to believe in the magic of that light . . .

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

Take a moment to think about someone who could use your love. It may be
someone you know like a good friend who just ended a relationship, or a
sister who's going through a tough time with her son. It might be a
stranger -- someone still struggling with the aftermath of Hurricane
Katrina or a widow who is recovering from the loss of her partner. Take a
moment to light a candle and say a prayer. Join me in passing a tiny
torch of hope . . .

Cheryl Richardson

On immortality


               Eser Afacan

How do human beings respond to changes?

Badly. Always very badly. One of the most widespread myths in the whole world – the myth of the vampire – reflects this idea.

What is a vampire? It is someone who at a certain moment in their existence becomes immortal. In other words, after that moment their body will no longer follow the normal course of nature; they will become forever young, and they can live as long as they like without having to deal with problems caused by growing old.

The vampire’s only diet is a little blood every day, and their only care with their skin is to avoid sunlight – but after all, this is a very small price to pay to enjoy all the possibilities of eternal life.

Except for one thing: vampires stop in time, while the world carries on changing. Everything that they were always used to begins to change, and even though they have all the time in the world to adapt to these changes, they desire immortality precisely because they were happy with the world in which they lived. They are not interested in accompanying these changes.

Let us imagine a human being who becomes a vampire right at the finals of the 1986 World Cup. He could smoke on airplanes, did not need to puzzle over picking what channel to watch on the television – the choice was so limited. He had an actress for a sex symbol, understood all about carburetors and fought for his socialist ideal, convinced that the Soviet Union would soon have more capable governors, and the yearnings of the people (called the proletariat) would at last be respected.

One fine day he falls in love with a 22-year-old sociology student. He admires her beauty, her enthusiasm, her idealism. He suggests transforming her into a vampire, but she refuses – she has seen too many horror films. She is in love too and does not want to lose him, but she sets one single condition for going ahead with their relationship: he must never suck her blood. The vampire has no choice but to keep his word. They get married in the registry office to avoid mortal crucifixes.

Twenty years roll by - in fact fly by, because another four World Cups have taken place. The former university student is now 42 years old, working in a bank (unemployment problems) or else writing useless Master’s and Ph.D. theses and dissertations merely to justify her life as a professional student. Carburetors have disappeared from the face of the earth. In horror he leafs through a magazine and sees his old sex-symbol actress transformed into a hybrid product made of plastic, Botox and silicone, her face coated with tons of makeup. He feels guilty for having 200 TV channels and only watches the same ones as long ago.

The Soviet Union has collapsed. He was obliged to abandon his beloved cigarettes (although it did not affect his health, don’t forget that vampires are immortal), because smoking became impossible, either because of laws or because of the way people looked at him in restaurants. And worst of all: everyone is talking about chat, Internet, iPod, rave and so on. The vampire tries to keep up to date, but everything seems absolutely complicated, irritating and senseless. He looks at the computer as if he were looking at a clove of garlic – with a mixture of horror and impotence. He will never be able to manage one of those, although he has tried several times.

His friends are retired, spend their days playing cards – they also do not know how to deal with computers, but they do not mind, the group has grown old together, they all have the same interests and can share experiences.

The vampire stays young. Immortal. Now he is faced with eternal depression. He attempts suicide, going out in the sunlight or looking at crucifixes, only to discover that these were myths created by the Church and cause him no harm at all.

He is left with one consolation: there is still one political figure that he knows all about (because all the other governors across the world have changed).

But Fidel Castro will also pass. And then nothing, absolutely nothing, will remain of the world that the vampire once loved so much.

NEW: share your views on this newsletter. Click here to go to the blog Warrior of Light

Copyright @ 2005 by Paulo Coelho.
 "Warrior of the Light, a publication."

Miraculous Manifesting Stories for You!

By Margot Zaher and Jafree Ozwald

"If you can believe it, you can achieve it." ~Napoleon Hill

Do you have a life dream or desire that you feel is out of reach?
Most of us have at least one big desire or life dream we think is too
big to achieve and probably will never manifest. The most interesting
thing we have found about desire is that if you truly HAVE a deep
desire in your heart for something, you also contain the mechanics
for manifesting it. Often the one thing that people are missing in
their manifesting toolbox is a strong, confident and positive belief
that they can manifest exactly what they desire.

For many centuries in the world of running, no human being could run
one mile in less than four minutes. It was known as "humanly
impossible" at the time, and a feat that was out of our reach.
Everyone believed this except for a man named Roger Bannister who
believed and KNEW that it was possible. He trained his mind to move
past the limitations of the negative beliefs of those around him and
repeatedly told himself he could do it. Then it happened one blustery
afternoon in May of 1954 he broke the four-minute mile. The amazing
part of this story is that the same year many other runners ran it
faster than 4 minutes too! It was as if others were waiting to know
that it was possible first before they could achieve it as well.

"Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at
once, whether you ready or not, to put this plan into action."
~Napoleon Hill

So the big question right now is what do you think is impossible for
you to achieve in your life? There is something magical about the
power of believing that if you can dream it, you can achieve it. It's
as if the entire Universe is right behind you, supporting your every
belief. If you believe you can do it, you eventually will...and if
you believe it will never happen, it won't. The energy and power
behind a belief is what creates a miraculous life or a life that is
simply ordinary. The choice is always yours. However, if you truly
want to see miracles happen today in your life, you need to step out
of your limited box of thinking now. To open your mind to the
possibility that anything is possible is the first step in
manifesting whatever it is you desire. The second step is to surround
yourself with the knowledge of other human beings who were once
exactly like you, yet have achieved what you wanted and more.

The following true stories are emails we have received from the
people who have been actively using our 90 Day Manifesting Program.
May their experiences help you break out of any limiting belief-shell
you may feel stuck beneath and inspire you to actively step into
being the powerful manifestor you already are. Enjoy!

"Since January 2006, I had only one real estate deal. This is quite
shocking for being one of the top producers. Where were the buyers
for the 12 listings I am marketing? Why were the buyers so
indecisive? Well, time for Jafree and all my emails that I did not
delete as Spam from enlightened beings. I purchased the Super
Manifesting Package and within a week of listening to money
manifestation meditations I received a new construction listing at
$3,995,000 in Bedford, NY! Believe it or not, after only 6 days, we
have received an offer very close to the list price. In addition, I
obtained a listing for $1,850,000 in Greenwich CT and presented an
offer of $950,000 on another Greenwich property. I also closed on two
properties one for $837,500 in Norwalk CT and another for $420,000 in
Stamford, CT. It seems I am manifesting money all over the Counties!
I think the $139.00 investment was definitely worth the price based
on my 10,000% return!"

Thanks. D.P. Greenwich , CT


"Through reading the Manifesting materials, meditating, and
application, I am living all the time in expectation of my heart's
desires being fulfilled and this really blows my mind. I am a novice
but look what is happening!

1. I am losing inches off of my waist and my stomach is flattening
without exercising.
2. My personal relationship is rekindling in a more authentic way.
3. My business is thriving at a faster pace than before.
4. My emotional, psychological, and mental factors are improving day
by day.
5. My spiritual path is active and strong as I am loving God more and
6. My energy level is up, up, and up.

Out of all of my miracles number 7 is the best. I am no longer a
victim and for that I say thank you Jafree for blessing us all!"

Much love. ~Muriel Walker, Gainesville, Florida


"When I wrote a few days ago, I was going through a wave experience
where I had applied for a management job which will be fun, and bring
in quantumly more income than I've made ever in my life!! I waited a
whole week to find out what was going on, and during that week all my
little insecurities and doubts about myself rose to the surface. I
had made a commitment to start the 90 day program again on August
1st. Today is August 22, and I begin my new job tomorrow!! If I had
let myself worry and fret, it would have all been for naught. What I
did was read the materials a little bit everyday, and it kept me
buoyant throughout the experience. Thanks again! The course has truly
changed my life! I can't wait to see what other great things I
manifest in the next two and a half months!

Much love, Melinda


Instantly Download The 90 Day Manifesting Program and listen to ALL 7
Manifesting Audio Meditations in our NEW Super Manifesting Package

Many blessings to you,
Jafree & Margot

Clearing the Way for a New Future


This week, I would like to invite you into a deeper level of healing
your internal war. Of course I never ask you to do anything that I'm not
willing to do myself.

The more light we bring to our psyches, the more shadows will appear.
It's just part of the process. Every time we step up, every time we open
up to new possibilities and step into uncharted territories, we
inevitably come face to face with the dark parts of ourselves that have
not yet been exposed or explored.

When we are committed to excellence - when we are committed to the
evolution of our own soul and those around us, and seeking to maximize
our potential - we can get myopically focused on our own agendas in the
name of "doing good." Like any course we are on, there are others who
are on similar courses and those who are on opposing courses, and often
times the two will collide. When we are sure that our course is "The
Right Course" and theirs is "The Wrong Course", we are likely to brush
past them without acknowledging or giving proper notice to the road
they've chosen.

It happens. This is life. There is no need to beat ourselves up for the
next ten years over it, but there is a spiritual responsibility to stop
and look at what we leave behind, our trail. In other words, are you
leaving toxic gases in your immediate universe? And if so, what are they
made of and what can you do about them?

Since I started my writing career, I've gone through a few difficult
situations. They are over now, and it no longer matters who was right or
who was wrong, what they did or what I did. The only thing that matters
is whether I can see the consequences of my actions or inactions and
whether I've learned the lessons that these experiences have tried to
bestow upon me. The following questions are a few that I like to dwell
in when I'm seeking to find the gifts:

How can I use this experience to become the kind of person my soul longs
to be?

How can I use this lesson so that others can learn from me and maybe
bypass a difficult life experience?

How can I use this to heal my own heart?


How can I use this lesson to help the healing of the planet? [That is,
if the planet really needs healing.]

Believe me, when I am angry or hurt the last thing I want to do is ask
these questions. Hurt and anger leave me feeling righteous and shut
down. So first I have to heal the anger and the hurt, which is really
the deeper invitation of this week's newsletter.

To begin, I have to give myself permission to feel, be with, and accept
all the anger and hurt that I'm carrying. I have to get out of my head,
where I can justify and rationalize all my pain, and get into the heart
of my inner child - the little, sensitive part of me that likes to hold
on to my pain as a form of self-protection. I have to, with open arms,
give myself all the internal space I need to do the kind of healing work
necessary to let go of the past, to forgive myself, and to forgive
others. I have to acknowledge the aspect of myself that would rather
hang on for dear life to my story, my position, and my reasons rather
than take responsibility and give up the blame.

Once I do this, I am fertilizing the ground of my consciousness, a
necessity if I am to grow and move forward. It is the process of tilling
the soil of my psyche and weeding the dead and useless emotional roots
so that I can prepare my soul for new and exciting futures to emerge.

For each of us, this is a process. If we are committed to letting go of
the past and ending the internal war, the steps to healing our hurt and
anger will eventually lead us to "I'm sorry".

Below is a letter to myself that I recently wrote. The love I'm giving
myself here is to apologize and say "I'm sorry" for all the ways I've
participated in behaviors and circumstances that didn't serve my deeper
heart. While encouraging you to write a letter of apology to yourself, I
want to say that my list may not make sense to you. This is a personal
dialogue between you and the most private, delicate parts of yourself -
an intimate conversation written for you and by you. This is where the
healing needs to take place. It doesn't even matter if you
intellectually understand why certain things will come into your
awareness. It's about healing the emotional self. As I wrote in The Dark
Side of the Light Chasers, knowing is the booby prize. It doesn't matter
to our emotional selves what we know. And as I wrote in Spiritual
Divorce, our minds can't take us where our hearts long to go. So, "I'm
sorry" is the process of feeling the remorse and sorrow for things we've
somehow participated in, co-created, or allowed to happen to ourselves:

I'm sorry that I didn't make better choices for myself. I'm sorry that I
didn't take the time to make sure I was safe. I'm sorry that I stepped
over my intuition and refused to listen to the messages of the universe.
I'm sorry that I didn't ask for help sooner. I'm sorry that I allowed
fear to guide so many of my choices. I'm sorry that I choose fear over
faith. I'm sorry that I hurt people I love. I'm sorry I couldn't make
everyone understand my perspective. I'm sorry I ever chose that path in
the first place. I'm sorry that I felt so desperate that I didn't take
the time to do my due diligence. I'm sorry that I didn't have more faith
in myself. I'm sorry that I hurt myself so badly. I'm sorry I'm not
perfect. I'm sorry that I couldn't see the bigger picture, and I am very
sorry that I let others influence my decisions. I'm sorry that I wasn't
wise enough to have worked everything out by myself. I am sorry that I
didn't know how to stand up for myself. I'm sorry that my heart was not
strong enough and that my ego won out so many times. I'm mostly sorry
for the violence that I did to my own body and psyche. And with this, I
ask all the sweet, scared, innocent parts of myself to forgive me.

Once I expressed "I'm sorry" to myself, I was finally clear enough to
offer a genuine apology to others:

I am sorry to all the people that I have hurt directly and indirectly. I
am sorry for the pain that others felt and for the powerlessness they
experienced just by being around me. Please forgive me, my friends and
loved ones, my family, my co-workers, and my community. Please forgive
me, my precious son. To everyone who was on the opposing side of my
conflicts, please forgive me for all the ways you felt unloved,
disrespected, and uncared for by me.

And lastly, I am sorry to God for losing faith. Please, God, forgive my
unhealed heart and give me the power and the courage now to forgive

Take Action Now!

With pen in hand, tend to the sorrow in your heart. Take a deep breath,
and write it all down. I promise you, you'll feel lighter by the time
you're finished.

With love & blessings,


Embracing Your Shadow, part one


'What we want to change in others is what we haven't loved in

-Dr. John F. DeMartini

On my radio show this week, a woman phoned in to ask for advice
about dating a man of a different race. She loved him, but her
family had said they would completely disown her if she decided
to marry him. After a few questions, she revealed that her
secret fear was that she might be racist like her family.

What I said next didn't really seem to surprise her, though it
clearly surprised a few people listening judging by the e-mails
that I got after the show. I told her that chances were, she
probably was a bit racist - after all, it would be extremely
difficult to grow up in an intensely racist environment and not
pick up on at least some elements of that racism at an
unconscious level.

But I also pointed out that whether or not she judged people as
better than or worse than based on the color of their skin was
not necessarily a problem if she recognized it and even
embraced it.

This is based on a fundamental tenet of Jungian shadow work -
when you disown a part of yourself, it winds up running your
life. In other words, you will begin speaking, acting and even
pursuing certain goals in life in an unconscious attempt to
'prove' you are not whatever your secret fear tells you that you
might be. You will begin to project that unowned trait onto
the people around you and be amazed to suddenly find yourself
living in a world populated by people who exhibit that horrible,
abhorrent trait and do things that you would 'never, ever, do,
no matter what!'

This is one of the reasons we have pro-lifers killing people who
support abortion, relationship 'experts' who can't sustain a
happy marriage and crusaders for peace waging war on the powers
that be.

The flipside of that rule is what sets you free:

Once you embrace (or 'own') a trait, that trait no longer runs
your life.

I then went on to tell a story I once heard about Gerry Spence,
a controversial trial lawyer with a soft spot for defending
underdogs and a 25+ year record of having never lost a criminal

Early in his career, Spence was called in to defend a black man
accused of raping and murdering two white teenage girls in the
deep South. In selecting the jury, Spence asked each
prospective juror if they were racist. With the consent of his
client, Spence would only allow people who admitted that they
were actually racist onto the jury.

His assumption was that a. pretty much everyone who grew up in
the deep South at that time was liable to be at least a little
bit racist and b. if someone was willing to be honest about
themselves, even if it made them look bad, they would be willing
to be take an honest look at the facts instead of being blinded
by their prejudice.

The same is true of each one of us - when we are willing to
embrace the totality of ourselves, 'warts and all', we become
able to live according to our dreams and possibilities instead
of our limitations and fears.

I have played with a number of variations of the following
experiment over the years. All I can tell you is that if you
are willing to take it on, it is intensely liberating (and
often, very, very funny!)...

Today's Experiment - Creating 'Shadow Affirmations':

1. What is your secret fear about yourself? That is, what would
you least like people to find out about you?

2. What trait do you most dislike in others? What is it that
other people do that makes your blood boil?

3. What's the worst thing that anyone could ever say about you?

4. Now, create a 'shadow affirmation' for each of the things you
have come up with in the previous three questions.

For example:

'I am a selfish bastard.'

'I am a self-righteous bitch'

'I am a manipulative cow'

'I am a complete idiot'


As with 'real' affirmations, have some fun with this. Repeat
them often. Emphasize a different word each time you say them.
Make up a song and use your shadow affirmation as a lyric.
(For example, try singing 'I am a selfish bastard' to the tune
of 'Yankee Doodle Dandy'... :-)

Many people resist this exercise like crazy, only to find when
they give in and just do it they wind up laughing hysterically
and losing all their negative charge around the trait or traits
they have so desperately been trying to prove aren't a part of
who they are.

5. Finally, add the phrase 'Sometimes, ...and sometimes I'm not'
to your shadow affirmation.

For example:

'Sometimes, I am a self-righteous bitch, and sometimes I'm not.'

'Sometimes, I am a complete idiot and sometimes I'm not.'

FIVE. You will lose much of the impact of the exercise should
you choose to do so...

Next week, I'll be talking about the 'positive shadow' - how we
tend to disown our greatness and magnificence and how we can
embrace our genius.

Until then, have fun and learn heaps!

With love,

Comments? Questions? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts to the new discussion forums at:

Stop Settling for Less

"If you must compromise, compromise up."

--Eleanor Roosevelt

~*~ Topic of the Week - Stop Settling for Less ~*~

My inspiration for this week's broadcast comes from an experience I had
while traveling this past week. When I arrived at the airport for one of
my flights, I discovered that the gate attendant who handled my seat
assignment had mistakenly booked me in a center seat at the back of the
plane -- the last place a frequent traveler like myself wants to sit.

I was originally told that the plane was much larger than it turned out to
be, so I thought my assignment would be okay. But when I arrived at my
seat, I could see that I was about to spend five hours cramped in the back
and I really wanted to make a change. When I turned around to head up
front, I was faced with a long line of passengers waiting for me to put my
luggage in the overhead compartment so they could get to their seats. I
sat down feeling frustrated and annoyed.

As the passengers continued to board, I started a conversation in my head
that went something like this: "Well, one trip in a bad seat won't kill
you, Cheryl. The flight seems full, there are too many people trying to
board, and you'll only cause problems if you change seats now." I even
tried the "Just breathe and use this situation as an opportunity to
practice acceptance." Then I snapped out of it.

When the aisle cleared slightly, I left my bag in the overhead bin and
quickly moved to the front of the plane. I politely explained the
situation to the flight attendant and asked if I might have a better seat.
The flight attendant (who was lovely), asked me to step aside and wait.
Several minutes later she returned and led me to the aisle seat in the
bulkhead section of the plane -- one of my favorite seats. I sat down
with a sigh of relief feeling deeply grateful to this woman.

What's the moral of this story? Don't settle for less.

My initial reaction to being placed in the wrong seat is an example of how
we talk ourselves into settling for less. We tell ourselves things like:
Don't rock the boat, be nice, always put the needs of others before
yourself, or don't make a scene. All of this translates to: Settle for

Think about it. Have you ever asked for a meal to be prepared in a
special way at a restaurant only to be served the wrong dish and eaten it
anyway? Or have you ever stopped short of buying something you really
want because it costs a little more than you think you deserve? Maybe you
still charge the same fees you've been charging for more than three years
because you're afraid of what others will think if you raise them. Or
maybe you continue to stay in a relationship you've outgrown to protect
another's feelings rather than protect your own.

The bottom line is, we always get what we settle for. When you risk
rocking the boat, disappointing others, or giving yourself more than you
think you deserve, you automatically raise your standards. And when you
raise your standards, you naturally start to attract better things into
your life - better relationships, experiences, and even material

By the way, if the idea of settling for more sounds selfish, remember
this: When you want more for yourself, you naturally want more for others
-- a win/win for everyone! I spent too many years settling for less
because I didn't want to upset someone or appear inappropriately entitled
or arrogant. But the truth is this: That's not who I am, and it's not
who my readers and community members are either. Most of us tend to lean
in the opposite direction, giving more to others than we give to

So, in the spirit of healthy change, the next time you find yourself
having a "settling for less" conversation in your head, remember that
settling for a bad seat in an airplane or the wrong meal in a restaurant
may only be a small example of what you settle for in your life.

Are you ready to settle for more?

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

This week, pay attention to where you settle for less in your life. You
might even want to make a sign for your home or office that says, "Are you
settling for more?" to remind you to raise your standards. Whether it's
food in a restaurant or the way you allow yourself to be treated in a
relationship, challenge yourself to speak up and ask for what you want.
That way, you'll start receiving the very best.



"Power is what you think it is."

-Gary Karrass

Last week, I shared the first three steps of a negotiation
preparation model I created that is now used on at least 4
continents. (I'm not sure if it's reached Africa, Australia or

If you missed part one, you can read it online at:

4. F = Frames of reference

My friend Paul McKenna is known throughout Britain and much of
Europe for his success in using hypnosis both in his stage show
and as the 'therapist to the stars'.

Early in his career, Paul was invited on to a chat show to
participate in a debate on 'the dangers of hypnosis'. When Paul
pointed out that he didn't consider hypnosis to be dangerous,
the show's researchers excitedly explained that that was exactly
why they wanted him to come on - to express his point of view.

Paul knew that whoever sets the frame for any debate or
negotiation invariably controls the outcome. Given that the
show was being framed as being about 'the dangers of hypnosis',
the best he could hope for was to show that hypnosis 'wasn't
that dangerous'. He agreed to participate in the debate only if
the frame was changed to 'The healing potential of hypnosis'.

In the same way as two different frames can completely change
the way you look at a picture or think about a debate, having a
variety of frames through which to view a negotiation can
completely change the way you approach it.

Here are some of the most common variables you can use to change
the frame:

*How much territory is actually being covered in this
negotiation? Is it just one product/idea/deal, or is it

*Is it a one-off, short-term, long-term, or the first of many
individual ones?

*Is it about a detail of the deal (price, terms, etc.) or
whether or not there will be a deal?

*What other similar deals can you compare this one with? Which
deals might they want to compare it with?

*What's a good metaphor for this deal? Is it like buying a
house or like selling groceries? Is it like hiring a movie star
or developing an athlete? Is it like a game of chess, a boxing
match, or a dance?

5. I - Information

It is not unheard of for some Hollywood players to hire private
detectives, set up surveillance equipment in hotel suites or
even arrange the odd chance meeting with a beautiful woman or
handsome man in an attempt to pick up some 'secret' information
that will give them the edge in a negotiation.

While much of this is ethically dubious or even blatantly
illegal, the fact is that when it comes to most negotiations
information is king, and the more you know about the other
people's resources, references, entry and walk away points the
easier it will be for you to get what you want.

As well as doing your homework and due diligence, a fun and
useful way to pick up bits of extra information is to prepare
for the negotiation from the other side's point of view. Here's

Imagine stepping into the other person's shoes and look at
things through their eyes. Ask yourself what really matters to
you as this person. What's your bottom line? What are you
hoping for? What do you think you'll get? What do you know
that the other person (you know, the one who looks and sound
remarkably like you) doesn't?

While in one sense you are 'making it all up', it is surprising
how often the information that comes to you in this simple
thought experiment turns out to be useful and sometimes even
spookily accurate!

L = Leverage

Your leverage in any deal comes primarily from who wants or
needs to do the deal more. If they can't get the funding
without you on board and you know it, you've got leverage over
them; if you're going to go bankrupt without this contract and
the other side knows it, they have leverage over you. (This is
why having accurate information about the other side's real
situation and position can be so useful.)

This is also where the art of the bluff can come into play.
Just because you do need the deal doesn't mean you need to tell
them that; just because they don't seem bothered doesn't mean
they aren't.

Ask yourself:

*What leverage (real or imagined) might you have over them? How
can you best use that to your advantage?

*What leverage (real or imagined) might they have over you? How
can you counter or at least lessen the impact of that

E = Ecology

In nature, ecology is the study of the relationship between an
organism and its environment. In negotiation, it's the analysis
of how the way you negotiate and the results you produce impact
the bigger picture of your business, your relationships, and
your life.

Winning the deal but blowing the relationship might be OK in a
one-off transaction, but disaster in a long-term multi-item
deal. Losing the deal might mean not only a loss of potential
short-term reward but also a negative shift in how people
perceive you in the market place. And violating your own
personal values and ethics in pursuit of a result will probably
mess up your relationship with yourself, regardless of the
outcome of the negotiation.

Be sure to ask yourself (and where appropriate, others) about
the potential impact of as many scenarios and contingencies as
you can come up with.

Today's Experiment:

1. Make sure you've taken each of your three negotiations
through the first three steps and identified your purpose,
relationship, outcomes and options. (If you need to review part
one, go to

2. Take at least one of them through each of the four steps
above in as much detail as feels appropriate.

Have fun, learn heaps, and go for what you really want!

With love,

Comments? Questions? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts to the new discussion forums at:

Topic of the Week - Protect Your Relationships

"All things pass . . . Patience attains all it strives for."

--St. Theresa of Avila

There are times in life when a good dose of restraint goes a long way in
saving relationships -- both with yourself and others. Last week I had a
conversation with a friend who received an email that made her angry.
Fortunately, she had the good sense to call me before firing back a
response. As we talked about the situation (a colleague had seemingly
taken credit for her idea), I suggested that restraint might be a wise
choice in handling the situation. Before she confronted this colleague
with an accusation of betrayal, she needed to step back, regain her
composure, and think clearly about how best to respond.

We've all had similar experiences -- your boss says something stupid to
you in front of co-workers and you get so angry that you storm out of the
room. Or you find yourself in the middle of the same old argument with
your son or daughter and you hear yourself saying foolish things that you
know you'll later regret. These are the times when restraint can be a
valuable tool -- one that saves energy and a whole lot of hurt feelings.

Every day we're faced with situations that would benefit from a little
restraint. You simply need to notice the clues. For example, you'll know
that restraint is a wise choice when:

~*~ You can't think clearly.

~*~ You feel like screaming.

~*~ Your emotional reaction feels bigger than what the current situation

~*~ It feels like powerful energy (read: anxiety) is coursing through your
veins and you feel compelled to react.

~*~ You feel angry and know there's a good chance you'll say something
mean or stupid that you'll regret later on.

We all get our buttons pushed. It's just a part of life. But the growth
lies in our ability to make better choices. Here are a few things you can
do to insure that you take good care of yourself and others:

1. Close your eyes and breathe. When you're caught off guard, your
body's fight or flight system gets activated and it's as though all
systems suddenly go on red alert. This means you're now operating in
survivor mode -- not conducive to making wise, thoughtful choices. By
closing your eyes and taking several slow, deep breaths, you'll
immediately cause your brain to begin making alpha waves, the kind of
brain wave patterns that gently calm you down.

2. Find a safe person to vent to about the situation. "Safe" is the
operative word here. Be sure to choose someone who can listen well so
you're able to process your feelings. Don't choose someone who simply
fuels the drama by egging you on with their opinions of how you've been

3. Get more information. Before you confront the other person with your
assumptions, ask questions. For example, if an email pushed your buttons,
ask the sender what he or she intended to communicate. By now most of us
know that we miss the nuances and tone of a person's message when we
communicate via email. Make sure you have the facts before accusing
someone of a damaging act. When my friend who was angry with her
colleague for taking her idea, calmed down and inquired about what
happened, she discovered that, in fact, her idea hadn't been taken at all.
Her name had mistakenly been left out of a document.

4. Have a sane conversation with the person involved. Be sure to speak
from the "I" position and simply let him or her know how you feel and what
you need. If the connection is important, you might even start your
exchange by acknowledging the value of your relationship first.

The next time you find yourself in overreaction mode, practice restraint.
By choosing to step back and put some space between you and an immediate
response, you not only protect your relationships, you preserve your

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

This week, catch yourself before you overreact or impulsively respond to
something that pushes your buttons. Instead, step back, take a deep
breath and consider using one of the steps above. For example, if you
find yourself in an argument with a spouse or partner, ask for a time out
to regroup and calm down. If a co-worker does something that makes you
angry, don't get caught up in any drama. Instead, find someone reasonable
to discuss the situation with before you respond. Be wise. Honor
yourself and your relationships by using a little restraint.

Cheryl Richardson

Installing Love

Customer Service: Can you install Love?

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to
install now. What do I do first?

Service: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right now.
Is it okay to install while they are running?

Service: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see... I have Pasthurt.exe, Lowesteem.exe, Grudge.exe
and running right now.

Service: No problem. Love will automatically erase Pasthurt.exe from your
current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it
will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually overwrite
Lowesteem.exe whit a module of its own, called Highesteem.exe. However,
you have to completely turn off Grudge.exe and Those
programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Service: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke Forgiveness.exe.
Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge.exe and
have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. Love has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?

Service: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your Heart. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Service: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need
to begin connecting to other Hearts to get the upgrades.

Customer: It says "Error 412 - Program not run on internal components."
What does that mean?

Service: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the Love
program is set up to run on external Hearts but has not yet been running
on your Heart. It is one o f those complicated programming things, but in
non-technical terms it means that you have to "love" your own machine
before it can "love" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Service: Can you find the directory called "Self-acceptance"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Service: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Service: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them
to the "Myheart" directory: Forgiveself.doc, Selfesteem.txt,
Realizeworth.txt and Goodness.doc. The system will overwrite conflicting
files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
"Selfcriticize.exe" from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin
afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it! Wow! My Heart is filling up with really neat files.
Smile.mpg is playing on my monitor right now, a nd it shows that, Peace.exe and are copying themselves all over
my Heart!

Service: Then Love is installed and running. You should be able to handle
it from here. One more thing before I go...

Customer: Yes?

Service: Love is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to
everybody you are meeting. They will in turn share it with other people,
and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

Service: You're very welcome.

Author Unknown

Using Shortcuts to Make Time for Your Life

 "Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds.
Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they
will become the brightest gems in a useful life."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

~*~ Topic of the Week - Using Shortcuts to Make Time for Your Life ~*~

As I take some time off to enjoy the summer weather here in the Northeast,
I often rerun some of the most popular newsletters. This week's broadcast
is about using shortcuts to enjoy more of your life. I hope you find one
or two ideas that will make a difference! Here goes . . .

Teaching yourself to look for and use shortcuts is a way to perform
everyday tasks more quickly and efficiently, allowing yourself more time
for your priorities. Like developing a "when in doubt, throw it out"
mentality that keeps clutter at bay, training yourself to use short cuts
can make a big difference in the quality of your life.

This week I asked a few friends about the ways in which they save time
(and money) so I could share them with you. Here are 10 examples:

1. Buy in bulk. The next time you go shopping for household items (toilet
paper, paper towels, etc.), purchase them in bulk. By doing so, you'll
avoid making multiple trips to the store throughout the year. Since many
warehouse stores offer great prices for bulk purchases, you'll not only
save time, you'll save money too.

2. Call all your creditors and have the due dates on your monthly bills
synchronized to the same date. By aligning the payment dates of your
bills, you'll be able to pay them all at once (this helps to insure that
they're paid on time too).

3. When cooking meals, double the serving and freeze the other half for
future meals when you'd rather relax than cook.

4. Use a pick-up and delivery service. You might be surprised to discover
that your dry cleaner, local restaurant, or copy shop offers this service.
Just ask . . .

5. Order your household goods or office supplies online. I recently needed
supplies for a workshop at the last minute and when I ordered them from, I not only received the supplies the next day (for free!), I
saved 10% as well.

6. Keep an on-going list of books, movies, or music recommendations on
your computer so that you can easily recall them when shopping. After all,
how often have you spent way too much time looking for a good movie at the
video store? A book list may also give you an incentive to visit the
library -- this will allow you to save money by borrowing the books you
really don't need to purchase.

7. Learn new shortcut features on your computer. It's amazing how much
time you can save by taking a few simple steps. For example, did you know
that using "control A" will highlight all of the text on your screen so
you can copy, move or delete it all at once? Or using "control Z" will
undo any previous keystrokes, making it easy to recover a great thought
that you mistakenly deleted? Check your computer's help or tutorial file
for common keyboard shortcuts.

8. Schedule automatic tasks on your computer so you'll remember to perform
the most important ones (like backing up your hard drive or scanning for
viruses). Take a look at the help index on these programs for set-up
instructions -- it takes about two minutes!

9. Set up a carpool with neighbors to take kids to and from after-school
activities. I know that this may sound obvious, but many moms tough it out
alone, too busy (or afraid) to ask for help. If you hate playing
chauffeur, challenge yourself to make a few calls.

10. Set up short cuts on your desktop so you can quickly get to important
documents that you use on a regular basis. For example, I keep a "to-do"
list on my Palm. When I go to my computer, I have an icon called "to-do"
on my desktop that I can click on to take me right to the document. If
you're a PC user, right click on your desktop, click "new," click
"shortcut," and follow the instructions.


~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

Choose one of the above steps and implement it this week. Once you
experience the benefit (reduced stress levels and extra time), you'll
start looking for and using time savers on a more regular basis. Have fun


"You don't get what you deserve - you get what you

-Chester L. Karass

Whether you're negotiating a peace settlement in a war-torn
country or a peace settlement in an argument-ravaged
relationship, strong preparation is the key to success.

In the 1990's, I used to run courses in Europe and South America
in 'The Secrets of Emotional Negotiation'. One model I
developed for those courses was specifically designed to
maximize the effectiveness of your preparation - to ensure you
put together only the most useful information and insights for
creating the results you truly desire.

I called the model "The Negotiation P.R.O.F.I.L.E.(tm),
and it has proved itself incredibly useful over the years
not only to my students but in my own negotiations in business
and in life.

Four years ago, I wrote an article about the first three steps
in the P.R.O.F.I.L.E. process which has been circulating around
the internet under the title 'How to Negotiate Like a P.R.O.'.

Today's tip is an adapted and slightly expanded version of that
original; next week I will share the second half of the model
publicly for the first time...

1. P = Purpose

Knowing why you are engaged in a negotiation may seem obvious in
some situations (to buy a lamp, to stop a fight, etc.), but
more complex negotiations generally have more complex purposes.

Ask yourself:
-Why am I negotiating?
-What are the potential benefits?
-What do I ultimately hope to achieve?

2. R = Result/Relationship Balance

A "transaction" is high result/low relationship - we get what we
want, and the other person is incidental to the exchange.
Buying a used car is generally a "transaction".

"Relationship-builders" are meetings, calls, and exchanges of
value where developing the relationship between the two parties
is far more important than the actual tangible "result"
outcome. Early meetings in any project are usually
"relationship-builders" - what gets done is far less important
than connections being made.

A true "Deal" is where there is a high emphasis on both getting
what you want and enhancing your relationship for the future -
this "win/win" thinking takes more time and effort, but is
essential in any sort of long-term agreement. Successful
political (and marital!) negotiations are always predicated on
achieving this balance.

Give yourself the following test:

If you had 20 points to distribute between creating the Result
you want and enhancing the Relationship, how would you do it?

Result/Relationship Balance

15/5 - Transaction
5/15 - Relationship builder
10/10 - Deal

3. O = Outcomes and Options

When it comes to negotiation, having a clear outcome, goal, or
target in mind has been shown to be one of the primary
determinants in how things come out.

(See Richard G. Shell's excellent "Bargaining for Advantage" for
more information - details in the 'Want to Learn More?' section
at the end of the tip)

Ask yourself the following questions:
-What specifically do I want?
-What specifically do I think they want?
-What are some plausible options that will get us both what we

Today's Experiment:

1. Identify at least three upcoming or ongoing negotiations in
your life - one personal, one professional, and one internal
(you may need to get creative with this one).

Personal -
"My husband wants to spend our tax refund on a big screen TV; I
want to take a family holiday to Hawaii; our accountant wants
us to put it into a real-estate trust."

Professional -
"I want to negotiate a raise at work."

Internal -
"Part of me wants to eat unlimited amounts of chocolate; part of
me wants to look great naked!"

2. Apply the purpose, relationship, outcome and option questions
to each of the three negotiations. If you're using this to
prepare for a particularly important negotiation, take some
extra time to answer the questions AS IF you were the other
person in the negotiation. You will be pleasantly surprised at
the insights you gain from this process.

Next week, I will discuss the F.I.L.E. part of the equation,
which will give you the extra information you need to move
forward with confidence on your path to success...

Have fun, learn heaps, and negotiate like a P.R.O.!

With love,

Comments? Questions? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts to the brand-new discussion forums at:

Your Holy Heart

What the world needs now is love, sweet love. We've been talking about
this in one way or another all summer. Some of you have been playing the
Self-Esteem Game, and some have been doing deep inner work to heal and
find peace. This week, I simply want to offer up a gentle reminder that
the sweet love we all seek resides within us.

I see it all the time...we look everywhere in the world for love except
where we're actually going to find it. We try to find it in our soul
mate or partner, in our friends, in our bank accounts, in our public
image, in our successes, in our communities, but it only exists in one
place inside ourselves - in our own holy hearts.

And our hearts require so much more than most of us give them.

They need gentle love and compassion, they need forgiveness, and they
need complete acceptance of their disappointments and pain. Until we
recognize this and commit to bringing the light of our awareness inside
ourselves, we have to continue our human rat race of trying, trying
harder, getting, collecting, wanting, and hungering for the outer. Think
about all the times you've just taken your holy heart and given it away;
all the times you've put your holy heart in the hands of people you
didn't really know or trust. Think of all the times you left your holy
heart at home alone, just so you could chase something you thought would
make you feel better.

Imagine you had a precious baby that you waited all your life to give
birth to. Would you just hand the baby off to anybody on the street?
Would you leave him or her for days, weeks, months, or years? Would you
subject it to people who were spewing negativity - always asking what's
wrong with it? No, you wouldn't. And you wouldn't do this to your heart
either if you knew its sacredness. You would hold it, love it, and pay
proper attention to it. You would worship it and bless it. You would be
in awe of it.

And what else?

You would walk your heart, talk to your heart, and make love to your
heart. You would dress your heart up and take it out on the town. You
would speak the most beautiful, prayerful words to your heart...

My holy heart, I offer you the love and compassion that you deserve

My holy heart, I give back to you all the energy that I so generously
put out to others

My holy heart, I hold you as the sacred, precious jewel that you are

My holy heart, I am grateful for every feeling you experience, every
pain that has passed through you, every moment of joy and hope

I love you like I love no other, because I know that you are imbued with
the richness of the universe and the light of God right now, inside of

And when I embrace all of me, I will be able to love all of you

Ultimately, you would let go of old regrets and resentments from the
past, because you would finally want to be present with this radiant
diamond in the center of your being.

Breathe into that, just breathe into that - you have a jewel. You are
the jewel. Treasure yourself like a million pounds of gold. See and
acknowledge your own heart, and then notice what happens in the outer
world. This is one of the most potent antidotes in existence for
addressing the great pain in the heart of the world.

Take Action Now!

The blind man and Everest


      Little by little we seem to grow used to the same metaphors for life. Some time ago I wrote in this column the “Manual for climbing mountains”, and out of the blue I meet a reader in Hamburg who decides to share his experience with me about climbing in life. He discovered what hotel I am in, and has some criticism to make of my page in the Internet. After making some harsh comments, he asks:
     “Do you mind if I take a photo with my girlfriend?”
     Of course I don’t. He picks up his cellular, presses a button, says nothing, and his girlfriend turns up a minute later.
      After the photo is taken comes the next question, this one more intriguing:
     “Can a blind man climb Mount Everest?”
     “I don’t think so,” I answer.
     “Why don’t you answer ‘perhaps’?”
     I am almost certain that I am in the company of a “compulsive optimist.” One thing is the whole universe conspiring for our dreams to become true, quite another is to place yourself in front of absolutely unnecessary challenges, which can lead to death or unpredictable failure.
     I explain that I have to leave for an appointment, but the reader does not give up.
     “The blind can climb Everest, the highest mountain in the world (8,848 meters). Not only can they do it, but I happen to know of at least one blind person who did it. His name is Erik Weihenmayer. Can your appointment wait?”
     Since he gave me a name, there could an interesting story here. My appointment can wait, of course.
     “In 2001, Weihenmayer managed the feat. Meanwhile, people complain that they cannot afford a better car, more elegant clothes, and a salary that matches their abilities.”
     “Are you sure?”
     “Look it up in the Internet. But what fascinates me is that Weihenmayer knew exactly what he wanted: he changed his life into what he thought it should be. He had the courage to risk everything to have the universe conspire in his favor.”
     I agree. The reader goes on, as if my attitude is no longer of any interest to him:
     “If you know what you want in life, then you have all you need to manage to make your dream come true. Didn’t you yourself say that?”
     Of course. But there are limits, such as blind people climbing the highest mountain on earth.
     “And if people have no dreams, what are they supposed to do?”
     “Think about something that they would like to be doing, and then take the first step,” I answer. “Without being afraid of making a mistake. Without fear of offending those who ‘worry’ about their behavior.”
     “That’s it!” said the reader, for the first time identifying my ideas clearly. “So we realize that to reach what we want we have to run risks. Don’t you say that in your books?”
     Not only do I say it, but I also try to keep my word. But we are interrupted in our conversation; it is time for the appointment that has brought me to Hamburg. I thank him for his attention, ask him to send me suggestions for my page on the Internet, we take another picture and then say goodbye.
      At three o’clock in the morning, returning from that event, I reach into my pocket for the key to my room and discover the piece of paper where he had jotted down the blind man’s name. Even knowing that I have to travel to Cairo in a couple of hours, I turn on the computer, and there it is:
     “On 25 May 2001, at the age of 32, Erik Weihenmayer became the first blind person to reach the top of the highest mountain in the world. A former high-school teacher, he received the ESPN and IDEA prize for his courage in overcoming the limits that his physical condition permitted. Besides Everest, Erik Weihenmayer has climbed the other seven highest mountains in the world, including Aconcagua in Argentina and Kilimanjaro in Tanzania”.
      If you don’t believe it, look it up.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho 

How to Solve Problems with Ease

"Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected

-- Samuel Johnson

Have you ever wondered why you get some of your best ideas in the shower?
Or, why you become more and more insightful as each day of your vacation
passes by? Well, I've been lucky enough to discover the secret and I want
to share it with you. It all has to do with how you think :).

There are two basic modes of operation for the human brain. There is the
analytical, thinking mode -- the mode we use when we want to memorize
something, review financial reports, or learn a new skill. And, there is
the relaxed, insightful mode -- the one that allows us to rest our
thoughts, be present in the moment, and access wisdom. This is the mode
we shift to when taking a shower or while relaxing on vacation. Both
modes are important and each can be more useful when used in the right

Because our culture is so over-focused on information, most of us live
from the neck up. Our brains stay stuck in the analytical mode of
thinking, and this makes it difficult to relax and enjoy the richness that
life has to offer. When we rely on the analytical, computing mode to
handle situations of a less definitive nature (like writing, presenting or
relating to others), we end up struggling to "figure things out" rather
than allowing the answer to surface effortlessly. Let me give you an
example of what I mean.

When I was writing my book, I learned to use my relaxed brain to make the
process more joyful. As I was about to begin a new chapter (usually the
most difficult part for me), I would ask my brain to begin working on an
outline, and to have it ready by 3 pm. Then, I'd go to the beach with a
good book and spend the early afternoon sitting in the sun. Each time my
mind started thinking about the chapter I needed to write (analytical
mode), I simply told myself "it's being handled." Then, I'd go back to
relaxing (insightful mode). Sure enough, when I'd return to my computer
at 3 pm, the chapter would start to pour out. Actually, in the beginning,
it dripped out. But, as I grew to trust the process of letting go and
allowing my insightful mind take over, the writing flowed more easily.
That's what happens when you give your brain a vacation -- you access
wisdom in a much easier way.

If you want to enjoy life more fully, the trick is to teach yourself to
live in the insightful mode more often. That way, you'll have more of the
analytical brain available for other stuff -- like putting the gas grill
together this summer.

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

This week, try an experiment. Pick a problem or challenge, and instead of
ruminating over and over in your mind about what should be done, ask your
relaxed brain to solve the problem while you do something else. Set a
specific time for the answer to surface and let it go. Create your own
mantra to use when your analytical brain tries to take over, and when
ready, arrive at the intended result time and see what shows up.

Practicing this simple exercise on a regular basis will not only teach you
to access your inner wisdom, but it will train your brain to use this mode
more often. Have fun!



"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."

-Richard Bach

My friend and mentor Bill Cumming has lived what I consider to
be an extraordinary life. After over fifteen years campaigning
in the civil rights movement and creating a number of programs
for individual and team empowerment (including the pilot for
the program now known as 'Upward Bound'), his life changed
forever when his nine year old daughter Joy was raped just a few
hundred yards from his Ohio home.

In that moment, Bill realized he was fully capable of the kind
of violence he had spent so many years campaigning against, and
his work turned in a new direction - what are the true causes
of violence in our society and how can they be changed?

During the course of his research, he visited a prison in
Somers, Connecticut and spent time with a group of murderers,
rapists and other violent offenders who had been working with a
man named Dr. Nick Groth for over a year. To Bill's surprise,
rather than blaming what they had done on their often horrific
upbringings filled with abuse, violence and criminal neglect,
each of these men took full responsibility for their lives.
Towards the end of their time together, one man who had
committed three rape/murders and held no possibility of parole
took Bill to one side and expressed his heartfelt compassion and
sorrow for what had happened to Joy.

In that moment, Bill realized that if he was capable of murder
and a murderer was capable of that degree of compassion, the
capacity for all things must live inside all of us. As he wrote
in the course manual for 'What One Person Can Do' (see the
'Want to Learn More?' section at the end of the tip to learn

"What I learned in this unusual laboratory is that it is
possible, given two critical factors, for even the most violent
people to develop meaningful, productive, contributory lives,
even within the confines of a maximum security prison. The fact
that this is so speaks volumes in terms of what we can do...

The critical factor...was getting these individuals to know that
they are loved (i.e. cared about, valued) and that they are

In private conversation, Bill has told me on numerous occasions
that in nearly every instance he has seen where a person has
turned their life around, there was the presence of at least one
individual who loved (cared for, valued) them unconditionally
and believed in them and in their capacity to choose - to make
different choices and fundamentally change the direction,
quality and character of their lives.

At first, I felt that Bill's work was very important but not
terribly relevant to my own life. After all, nothing that
horrific has ever happened to me or the people I care about
most. But I soon came to realize that the same critical factors
were present any time I overcame a crisis in my own life.

My parents believed in my mental strength and capacity at a time
where I was so messed up I thought they were the ones who were
nuts for believing in me. Charlie Helfert and Dale Moffit,
professors at Southern Methodist University believed in me
enough to not only bring me in to their professional actor
training program but to refuse to let me be pushed out even when
some of their perhaps more 'sensible' colleagues were lobbying
for my expulsion.

Their belief in me forced me to question my own sense of
worthlessness. If they thought there was something inside me
worth spending time on and salvaging, maybe there really was. In
short, they believed in me long enough and consistently enough
that I began to search inside myself for the strength they
seemed to see so effortlessly inside me.

And since I found that strength and began to use it to create my
own wonderful life, I have felt equally committed to believing
in others - to making the choice to treat the people I come
into contact with as though they too have the power within them
to choose and to change. And miraculously, consistently, they
prove me right - again and again and again.

So I'd like to conclude today's tip not with an experiment, but
with an invitation - the invitation to become 'a believer'. A
believer is someone who chooses to believe in the capacity
inside each one of us to be more than we thought we were capable
of - to fly higher and travel harder and arrive triumphantly,
creating lives that make us (and often everyone around us) go

There's no movement to join, no manifesto to sign - just a
gentle reminder and open invitation to be the difference maker
in someone else's life and to be open to having that difference
made in your own. Tell someone you believe in them. Mean it.
Demonstrate it in the way you treat them. Then stand back and
watch their life begin to blossom and bloom.

I began today's tip with a quote from Richard Bach's wonderful
book 'Illusions' - "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough,
they're yours."

I'll put it somewhat less poetically, but hopefully with equal

"Argue for your possibilities, and sure enough, you will find so
much more capacity and ability inside you than you have ever
dreamed is possible."

With love,

Comments? Questions? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts on the discussion forums at:

PS - See me being interviewed in a new short film called 'God
and the Chocolate Ice Cream' at Nic Askew's wonderful site

How to Stop Striving and Start Thriving!

smiling sun
Do you find yourself struggling to survive your day instead of
enjoying and relishing each moment you are alive? Are you living a
life where you are passionately doing what you MOST love to do
everyday? If not, look at the compromise you have made with yourself,
and the limiting beliefs you have bought into that say you "need to"
or "have to" do this to survive. You can choose to do what you love
to do and can even make more money at it than what you are currently
doing. We are not meant to do something we don't love doing. There
are thousands of other possible experiences than just this ONE thing
you think you should do for your entire life. The more experience you
have, the more rich, mature and wise you become. Say YES to new
experiences! This is what thriving in life is all about!

Striving is an energy we were taught at a very early age that says
that if we work hard and continue to persist, we will eventually
arrive at some amazing destination. The dictionary's definition of
the word for striving is "to exert much effort or energy". Anytime
you exhert effort, you are blocking your ability to receive what you
want. The truth is that you have already arrived. You are already
whole and complete and do not need to strive to become somebody else.
Sure you will grow in life, just like an oak tree grows to 150 feet
tall from a 6 inch sapling on its own. It doesn't struggle to be the
biggest tree in the field. It simply lets nature take its course.
Growing happens naturally on its own when you are relaxed, open, and
present to each moment and experience in life.

There are many people who continue striving to get somewhere in their
life or to become "somebody". If you have been trying for years to
arrive at being this "great somebody" the next question is to ask,
"when are you going to arrive?" What are you trying to become that
you believe will create more happiness than what is available right
now? The truth is when you truly give up trying to become someone and
relax, you instantly arrive! All this trying to become someone new is
just saying you are now O.K. with who or what you are now. There's a
hidden judgment about yourself that says you're just not "good
enough". By trying to become someone new you will only create the
habit of trying to become someone new forever. This is the life of
perpetual struggle and suffering. Don't do it. Let go of trying to
become ANYBODY special and start realizing the amazing divine being
you already are right now.

Right now, let go of your need to become better, richer, healthier,
more pure, powerful, loving, organized, loved, or more spiritual.
Relax into who and what you are right now. The Divine is always here
now. Striving only makes you think it's in the future The mind plays
such serious games, and will make you think your efforts are for
something "good" and positive, yet the basic energy of striving
contains the foundation of struggle, lack, and no self-love or
self-acceptance at its core. Start BEING the perfect God-being you
already are and relax! Enjoy the life you are living today! All
striving and efforting just stirs up more mental dust and covers up
the divine perfect consciousness inside. Striving to become someone
or something other than who you are is just another unfulfilling
program from your past that you will have to unlearn someday.
Transcend your conditioning by letting go of all efforting to become
"someone" this week, and let the effortless flow of your divine
energy and what you are truly passionate about live its life through

You already have what it takes to truly enjoy your life right now.
You don't need xyz so that you can smile, laugh, and be in love.
Thriving is already inside of you. All it takes is shifting your
focus inward instead of outward. When you refocus inward through
meditation, you can connect with your Divine essence and realize that
there is an infinite source of energy and creativity available inside
you RIGHT NOW! The more you accept where and who you are, the more
you can tap into your inherent manifesting energy and start to truly
thrive in the world.

Learn techniques and exercises to drop struggle, survival
consciousness, and striving from your life forever in The 90 Day
Manifesting Program at:

Many Blessings To You,
Jafree & Margot

How to Experience Abundance Vision

What kind of glasses are you wearing as you go through life? Are you
wearing poverty consciousness glasses that only reflect back to you
thoughts of lack, deprivation and financial challenge? Or are you
wearing your Abundance Vision spectacles and experiencing an attitude
of gratitude that truly recognizes the divine wealth throughout your

We invite you to get really curious about HOW you are usually seeing
the world around you. If you are wearing scarcity glasses, you are
unknowingly focusing on what isn't working and worrying about what is
missing or lacking in your life. As you see only what&rsquo;s
missing, your bodymind and emotions are permeated with the
neuro-chemicals that create the experience of more fear, doubt, worry
and scarcity. When you have a low vibration you can only manifest
experiences that reflect back that frequency of difficulty, poverty
and lack.

The great news is that you can choose to take off those old glasses
and exchange them in for NEW Abundance Vision! These super clear
abundance consciousness glasses have powerful lenses that allow you
to perceive what is working, what you are thankful for, where you are
successful in life, and to truly FEEL the awesome divine energy that
surrounds you and permeates your very being. You no longer have to
settle for a hard-working tough unloving life where you are just
getting by. It is truly miraculous when someone decides to start
seeing their world is full of joy and abundance today.

It doesn't really matter what has happened to you in the past or is
still happening in your world. It doesn't matter if you have lots of
money or if you are still dirt poor. You can still step into
abundance consciousness now and begin to FEEL your life is rich and
full of amazing opportunities. This FEELING will attract all the
money and goodies you desire. It is O.K. to receive these things, you
have worked hard and you truly deserve to take an abundant vacation
yes? What matters most is that you DO NOT postpone another moment of
your life and put on your abundance vision glasses today! (And
don&rsquo;t take them off!)

Make this positive transformation right now by choosing to say
&ldquo;NO&rdquo; to poverty thinking and see where the abundance in
your life is right now. It may surprise you to find that it is
already here, flowing in several areas of your life. Remember that
abundance comes in many forms. You can experience an abundance of
love, support, creativity, laughter, friends, imagination, space,
peacefulness, playfulness, energy, health, positive thinking, money,
and the list goes on and on and on... Here is an exercise for you.
Practice using your Abundance Vision by getting out a piece of paper
and writing down all the different types of abundance that are in
your life right now.

The more you recognize and give gratitude for the abundance that is
already a part of your life, the more abundance you will see, feel
and attract to you. In our 1st manifesting law of attraction, like
attracts like. Focus on how good it feels to have this abundance on
your inner world and you&rsquo;ll simply manifest more of it in your
outer world. Allow yourself to feel expansive inside within each form
of abundance you find. You will be amazed at how quickly you start to
manifest even more abundance to you in the form of financial freedom,
amazing relationships, incredible health, or tons of enthusiastic

To start manifesting abundance now, instantly download our 3 Guided
Money Meditations and immediately experience true Abundance
Consciousness today!

Many Abundant Blessings to You!
Margot and Jafree


The word angel means “messenger of God.”

Angels love everyone unconditionally. They focus on our Divinity and potential. They want to help you, me, and everyone live in peace. Angels stationed permanently by our side are called guardian angels. Archangels are managers overseeing our guardian angels. The angelic realm also includes “choirs” of angels called principalities, powers, virtues, dominions, thrones, cherubim and seraphim.

Guidance and instruction from angels comes in one of four ways: physical or emotional feeling—such as a hunch or gut feeling; visions and dreams—an image that appears in your minds eye; knowingness—a revelation or “download” of information; words and sounds—such as hearing a song in your head.

Angels leave signs of their presence all the time! Feathers in unusual places, hearing the same recommendation from several sources, a sweet fragrance, sparkles of light, and more. The more you take note of these signs, the more confidence you’ll have in angels.

Angels are tasked with protecting us. Ask the angels to watch over you and your loved ones. They will listen! Angels can help you find lost objects, the right job, a great home, good health, wonderful friends and so much more.

An angel may come into our lives in human form for a brief relationship, to provide us with protection, to steer us through a major life intersection, or to give us extra support and guidance.

More than anything, your angels wish you to enjoy utter peace and happiness. They’re available around-the-clock to help you with this endeavor. All you need to do is ask.

Excerpts from Angels 101 by Doreen Virtue.



"You know, Hitler wanted to be an artist. At eighteen he took
his inheritance, seven hundred kronen, and moved to Vienna to
live and study. He applied to the Academy of Fine Arts and
later to the School of Architecture. Ever see one of his
paintings? Neither have I. Resistance beat him. Call it
overstatement, but I'll say it anyway:
It was easier for Hitler to start World War II than it was for
him to face a blank square of canvas."

-Steven Pressfield

I recently came to realize that between books, CD's, magazine
articles, e-courses and tips, I have written over a million
words in the past six years. So it may or may not come as a
surprise to regular readers of these missives that at times, I
struggle to write them. While whole months can go by where the
process seems effortless, at other times I get so fed up trying
to find something which feels worthwhile to share that the
voices in my head have a field day, shouting at me to give up,
or take a week off, or at least to begin charging for the damn
things so as to justify the struggle.

And there are times where the voices have a point - where taking
a day or even a week off from writing is an act of kindness to
myself. In these moments, not writing is a true act of what I
like to call 'spiritual self-care', because I wind up feeling
cared for in my self and nurtured in my spirit.

Yet more often than not, the voices in my head telling me 'it's
too hard' or 'haven't you done enough?' or even 'you deserve
more!' aren't helpful at all, but rather serve to sap my
strength and drain my creative energy. It is at these times
that I take great comfort in the practice of what Stephen R.
Covey calls 'the daily private victory'.

The concept of the daily private victory is simple enough to
understand. It is the practice of taking time every single day
to do those things which nurture our mind, body and spirit.
What can be more difficult is to understand who or what we are
battling (and hopefully emerging victorious) against.

Some people believe we are engaged in a war against our selves,
spending our lives in a seemingly heroic fight to the death
between the dark and the light. In fact, in many traditions
(Kabbalah, some forms of Christianity and Toltec shamanism among
them), the voices of doubt in our head are thought not to come
from our own unconscious or even the collective unconscious but
from a force for evil known variously as 'the opponent', 'the
voice of knowledge', and even 'Satan'.

Other, more psychologically oriented traditions suggest that
what we are battling against is our own resistance, which comes
about as a result of our deep-seated feelings of unworthiness
and destructive impulses implanted in our psyches at an early
age as compensation for our inability to maintain our parents
love and approval.

While both these models have their appeal, for me, the 'enemy' I
battle with from time to time is far less complex (if not
always easier to defeat) - it is simple inertia, defined as 'the
tendency for an object at rest to stay at rest'.

In other words, what makes it difficult at times for me to
nurture my body, mind and spirit and express my creativity is
the fact that each day, I am beginning from a standing start.

Once I get into action, the simple joy of self-care and creative
expression kick in, inertia becomes momentum, and it becomes
easier to create than to tear down; easier to take care than to
neglect; easier to love than to fear.
Until that time, staring at a blank page can be as daunting as
facing down the devil himself.

Today's Experiment:

1. Make a list of those activities which for you would
constitute 'spiritual self-care' - the care and feeding of your
self and spirit.

*Physical exercise
*Time alone in nature
*Time spent in communion with others
*Being of service
*A warm or cool bath
*Inspirational reading

2. Now add to your list those activities which help 'sharpen the
saw' - making you capable of greater degrees of productivity.

*Practicing your craft
*Keeping up to date with the latest developments in your field
*Further training
*Mentoring (and being mentored by others)

3. Next, jot down any activities which if practiced daily would
make the success of your longer term projects and goals almost

*If you are an artist, musician or writer, spending at least
______ hours working on your art, music or writing each day

*If you are a salesman, making at least ______ sales calls each

*If you are looking for a relationship, meeting at least ______
new people each day

4. Finally, choose up to a dozen items which will constitute
your daily private victory - that is, those things which each
day that you do them make it easier to do them the next, and
whose daily accomplishment would be sufficient, even if you did
nothing else, to move you forward in the direction of a life
that makes you go 'Wow!'

Here are two good rules of thumb in choosing your list:

a. Your daily private victory should take no less than 45
minutes and no more than 3 hours to achieve each day

b. Choose only those things which, no matter how difficult, will
leave you feeling significantly better in yourself and about
your life having done them than you would if you hadn't done
them. (In other words, choose things that really support you in
feeling loved, nurtured and effective, not things which you
think would make you a 'good' or 'worthy' person.)

Have fun, learn heaps, and live well!

With love,

Comments? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts on the discussion forums at:

PS - Join me in London for September's NLP practitioner training
in London with Dr. Richard Bandler and Paul McKenna. For more
information, please visit <>;.


Here are some of my favorite resources for winning the daily
private victory:


*The Artist's Way at Work by Mark Bryan, Julia Cameron and
Catherine Allen

*Change Your Life in Seven Days by Paul McKenna

*The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

*The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

*You Can Have What You Want by Michael Neill (UK edition)

On the Road to Santiago, 1986


     “This cloud has to come to an end”, I thought while struggling to discover the yellow marks on the stones and trees along the Road. For nearly half an hour the visibility had been close to zero, and I went on singing to chase away the fear while waiting for something extraordinary to happen. Shrouded in the fog, all alone in that unreal atmosphere, once again I began to see the Road to Santiago as if it were a film, right at the moment when you see the hero doing what nobody would do, while in the audience you think that these things only happen in the cinema. But there I was, living this situation in real life. The forest was growing quieter and quieter and the fog was beginning to clear up. Maybe it was coming to an end, but that light confused my eyes and painted everything around me in mysterious and terrifying colors.
      All of a sudden, like in a magic trick, the fog lifted completely. And there in front of me, driven into the top of the mountain, was the Cross.
      I looked around, saw the sea of clouds from which I had emerged, and another sea of clouds way above my head. Between these two oceans, the peaks of the highest mountains and Cebreiro peak with the Cross. I felt a great urge to pray.
     Despite the desire, I did not manage to say anything. A hundred meters beneath me, a village with fifteen houses and a small church began to turn on its lights. At least I had somewhere to spend the night. A stray lamb climbed the hill and placed itself between me and the cross. It looked at me, somewhat afraid. For a long time I stared at the nearly black sky, the cross and the white lamb at the foot of the cross.
     “Lord”, I finally said. “I am not nailed to that cross, nor do I see You there. This cross is empty and so it shall remain for ever, because the time of Death has passed. This cross was the symbol of the infinite power that we all have, nailed and killed by man. Now this Power is born again to life, because I have walked the path of common people and in them I have found Your own secret. You too walked the path of common people. You came to teach all that we were capable of, and we did not want to accept this. You showed us that Power and Glory were in everyone’s reach, and this sudden vision of our capacity was too much for us. We crucified You not because we are ungrateful to the son of God but because we were very afraid to accept our own capacity. With time and tradition, You again became just a distant divinity, and we returned to our destiny as men.
     “There is no sin in being happy. Half a dozen exercises and an attentive ear are enough to make a man realize his most impossible dreams”.
      The lamb rose and I followed it. I already knew where it was leading me, and despite the clouds the world had grown transparent for me. Even though I was not seeing the Milky Way in the sky, I was certain that it existed and showed everyone the Road to Santiago. I followed the lamb, which was heading in the direction of the small village – also called Cebreiro, like the mountain. A miracle had taken place there once – the miracle of changing what you do into what you believe. The secret of my sword and the strange Road to Santiago.
      As I climbed down the mountain I recalled the story. A peasant from a nearby village came up to hear Mass in Cebreiro one day amid a heavy storm. That Mass was celebrated by a monk of little faith who within himself disdained the peasant’s sacrifice. But at the moment of the Consecration, the host transformed into the body of Christ and the wine became his blood. The relics are still there, kept in that small chapel, a greater treasure than all the wealth of the Vatican.
      I went to the small chapel built by the peasant and the monk who had begun to believe in what he did. No-one knew who they were. Two nameless headstones in the cemetery nearby mark the place where their bones are buried. But it is impossible to know which is the monk’s grave and which is the peasant’s. Because, in order to for there to be a miracle, the two forces had to fight the Good Fight.
      Since then, whenever I am faced with an important challenge, I remember the story of the miracle of Cebreiro. Faith sometimes has to be provoked before it can manifest itself.
     And this year I am celebrating the twentieth anniversary of my pilgrimage - which changed my life.  Next week, on the 25th of July, we commemorate Santiago de Compostela Day.  If you can, offer up a prayer in homage to the saint.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho  

Rabindranath Tagore

Here is a beautiful story about a famous poet named Rabindranath

Rabindranath Tagore has been searching for God for millions of lives.
He has seen God sometimes, far away, near a star, and he started
moving that way but by the time he reached that star, God had moved
to some other place. But he went on searching and searching--he was
determined to find God's home--and the greatest surprise was that one
day he actually reached a house where on the door was written: "God's

You can understand his ecstasy, you can understand his joy. He runs
up the steps, and just as he is going to knock on the door, suddenly
his hand freezes. An idea arises in God: "If by chance this is really
the home of God, then I am finished, my seeking is finished. I have
become identified with my seeking, with my search. I don't know
anything else. If the door opens and I face God, I am finished--the
search is over. Then what?"

He starts trembling with fear, takes his shoes off his feet, and
descends back down the beautiful marble steps. His fear is that God
may open the door, although he has not knocked. And then he runs as
fast as he has never run before. He used to think that he had been
running after God as fast as he could, but today he runs as he has
never run, not looking back.

To this day Mr. Tagore is still searching for God. He knows God's
home, so he avoids it and searches everywhere else. The excitement is
great, the challenge is great, and in his search his ego continues to
exist. He is not afraid of God, because he knows where God lives. So,
leaving his home aside, he goes on searching for God all around the
universe. And deep down he knows his search is not for God; but in
the search to nourish his ego."

By reaching God you discover Bliss. Blissfulness does not allow "you"
to exist; you (the ego) have to disappear. That's why you don't see
many blissful egos in the world. Misery nourishes your ego--that's
why there are many miserable people in the world. The basic, central
point is the ego. For the realization of ultimate truth, you have to
pay the price--and the price is nothing but dropping the ego. So when
such a moment comes, don't hesitate. Dancingly, disappear... with a
great laughter, disappear; with songs on your lips, disappear. ~Osho

Instantly Download Guided Meditations to Manifest your Soul Mate,
Financial Abundance, or a Spiritual Awakening!

Many Blessings to you,
Jafree & Margot



"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up."

-Jesse Jackson

I have long been fascinated with the life and work of Martin
Luther King Jr., a man as instrumental in the success of the
civil rights movement in the US as Mahatma Ghandi was in gaining
the independence of India from the British Empire.

In studying the lives of these two men, there are two things
which stand out for me as worthy of contemplation. The first is
that both were decidedly human, imperfect, and fallible,
(something which I personally find deeply comforting as it
suggests perfection may not be a prerequisite for making a
positive difference in the world :-). The second is that both
demonstrated in their words and actions a deep and abiding
respect for all people, regardless of color, creed, religion, or
standing in life.

Now, "respect" is not a word I have given particular thought to
over the years. In fact, if you asked me what associations I
had with the word before studying the lives of these
inspirational men, I would have said (in this order):

1. A song by Aretha Franklin

2. Something you're supposed to give to people older than you
(like your parents) and get from people younger than you (like
your children) but often don't!

Yet when I began to look into it, I discovered that there are
essentially two schools of thought in our society when it comes
to respect:

1. Respect is a Commodity to be Earned

In this 'school', any time you "do the right thing", honor your
word, and fulfill your promises, you earn respect; any time you
do the "wrong" thing, break your word, or fail to follow
through on your promises, you lose respect.

Despite the pervasiveness of this idea in our culture, we can
easily feel its shortcomings when we consider how difficult it
is to live up to its challenge. Have you ever failed to follow
through on a promise? Ever told a lie? Ever done the "wrong"
thing (even if it was unintentional)?

For many of us, trying to live up to the ideal of earned respect
has the opposite of its intended effect. Rather than raising us
up to the heights of virtue, self-love, and self-esteem, it
often drives us to give up on self-improvement altogether and
put our attention on simpler matters, like choosing what to wear
and what to watch on TV this week.

2. Respect is a Basic Human Right

In the Jennifer Lopez movie "Maid in Manhattan", she plays a
maid who leads a double life as a society beauty. The very same
people she serves as a maid fail to recognize her in her other
guise because they've never really looked at her when she
serves them.

But serving them is what she does, not who she is - as Bob
Hoskins' butler points out, "being of service is not the same as
being subservient" - i.e. seeing yourself as less than the
people you serve in any way, shape, or form.

In fact, seeing other people as 'just like us' acknowledges an
inner knowing that we all share but rarely speak of - that black
or white, rich or poor, positive or negative, we're all going
to die one day and there's nothing any of us can do about it!

Therefore in this 'school', you are worthy of my respect because
you too are alive and doing the best you can to make it through
- no more and no less.

The dictionary definition of respect is as follows:

Main Entry: [1]re·spect
Pronunciation: ri-'spekt
Function: noun
1 : an act of giving particular attention
2 a : high or special regard b : the quality or state of being

So to respect someone it to pay 'particular' attention to them,
and/or to hold them in high or special regard. And if someone
is worthy of my respect, it means they are worthy of both my
attention and of my esteem.

This does not mean I have to like them (phew!), nor does it mean
I have to want in any way to emulate them (double phew!). What
it does mean is that I need to stop deleting them from my

I can demonstrate my respect for you by noticing you - by
acknowledging your existence. By learning your name. By looking
you in the eye (or by knowing if in your culture that is deemed
inappropriate). By taking the time (where possible) to get to
know you, to learn about you - your history, your family, your
loves, your pain.

What I've come to realize since I began studying it is that
respect is actually a form of love. What makes it a particularly
potent one is that it causes the love to be made tangible.

Today's Experiment:

1. Today, as you encounter both strangers and friends, silently
repeat to yourself the phrase "You are worthy of my respect."

2. Notice what you notice. The following questions may serve as
a useful guide:

Did any people suddenly "appear" in your life who were
previously invisible, either because they were in subservient
roles or because you had grown so used to their being around
they had become 'part of the furniture'?Did you find yourself
relating to people differently?What did you notice about the way
people related to you?3. Choose an action that will assist you
in real-izing (making real!) your respect for the people in
your life. You can practice a different thing each day, or stick
with just one for a week or month or lifetime!

-Learning and using everyone's name
-Remembering birthday's
-Taking the time to ask how someone's doing and actually
listening to their answer
-Showing up on time for a meeting
-Not multi-tasking in the midst of a conversation
-Noticing at least one thing you appreciate about each person in
your life and telling them about it
-Cutting people (including yourself!) extra slack for being

Have fun, learn heaps, and consider this:

Are you worthy of your own respect?

With love,

How to Discover Your Divine Magnificence

What are absolutely and utterly amazing? From the smallest
cell in your body to the most elaborate computer in the world (your
brain) just your body is truly a magnificent piece of work. Yet it
doesn't stop with the physical body, your mind is even more amazing!!
It can project ANY idea it wants to and create it in the outer world!
Just by simply focusing and imagining it, you can invent anything!
The truth is that you have always been and will always be a divinely
magnificent being because the Divine energy that permeates everything
in this world is also within you. By definition, you are the Divine
itself, even with all of your seeming "imperfections".

Just because your mind does not always agree to see yourself as
magnificent does not mean that it does not exist. At the core of your
being you are like a brilliant Sun that can illuminate the entire
cosmos. You can shed light onto everyone you encounter. Perhaps at
some point in your life's journey you decided you weren't bright and
full of light, and turned away from looking at this powerful
magnificent spiritual essence inside. That's the whole point with
choosing limiting thoughts, you can close the shudders and completely
block out the light. Yet no matter how many blinders you pull down,
you cannot turn off the Sun and your true radiance. Perhaps it's time
that you open up the shades and throw away your curtains? Look within
and reconnect with that brilliance that is always radiating at the
center of your being.

To unveil your magnificence for once and all means to stop listening
to the trashy thoughts that your mind regurgitates. Your mind may be
deeply programmed with negative thoughts from the past. It only knows
how to send you those worried, panicky, and fear based ideas. It's
like having your TV tuned ONLY to horror movies 24 hours a day. If
your mind is sending you thoughts based on an old T.V station that
you selected years ago while you were unconscious and sleep walking
through life, its time to change the channel. You have already begun
to awaken and perceive the bigger truth of reality. You can change
the channel today, or better yet turn off the T.V.!! This will unveil
the beauty of your Divine Magnificence inside.

Just take 5 minutes a day to relax and focus on the brilliant sun
shining within you. Relax into the warmth of your heart and being.
Make the commitment to stop paying attention to the garbage of the
mind and refocus instead onto your true infinite nature. It is a much
better use of your time. You will be amazed at what you discover! So
right now gently focus your awareness onto your heart. The Sun may be
too powerful to visualize in there at first, so let's start with
imagining that your heart is a small burning flame of light. It only
takes a candle to light up a dark room. So let the light from the
candle in your heart radiate throughout your body and reach every
place of darkness inside. Illuminate every crack and crevice in your
body; surround yourself with an aura of light all day long! Don't let
this light burn out for at least 4 days! It will grow the longer you
can do this exercise...

As you focus on the flame in your heart and relax into its light and
perfection, breathe! If your thoughts stray to the old ego channel,
gentle acknowledge this and refocus back on your light in your heart.
This little flame will remind you that YOU are Divine and a brilliant
being of light at the very core. Discover this and turn off you worry
channel, doubt channel, and fear channel! Feel this little light
inside you! You can feel absolutely light and free just with the
smallest of flame inside. We invite you to also choose to focus on
how incredible it is to be alive at this time on the planet. It is a
time when many many people are realizing their divine nature.

Experience many more exercises and techniques to reconnect you with
your Divine Magnificence! Instantly Download The 90 Day Manifesting
Program at:

Many Blessings to you!
Margot and Jafree


"Be quick, but don't hurry."

-John Wooden

Last year, I had child psychologist and author Alfie Kohn as
a guest on my radio show. At one point, I asked him if he
had any tips for how to be a more caring and effective
parent when you were in a hurry. His answer, tongue only
slightly in cheek, was 'don't be in a hurry.'

While I laughed at the time, the more I thought about it the
more I realized what excellent advice that is, not only for
parenting but for pretty much any area of our lives.

When we are in a hurry, we tend to get sloppy and things go
undone or worse still, half-done. Our best intentions
often go out the window and our values shift, expediency and
'getting stuff done' leapfrogging their way up the list
above such old-fashioned priorities as treating people with
respect, doing things right the first time and even
enjoying the process.

Stress is a hurrier's constant companion, as there's never
enough time and there's always too much to do with it. As
time gets short, tempers get shorter, and a frayed nerve
often snaps in the face of a loved one.

Here are six ways to slow down without getting further and
further behind...

1. Just say "no"

With so much that it feels like we have to do (not to
mention all the things we actually want to do), how can we
get everything done without hurrying through the majority of

One answer is 'we can't', and in that sense the most
powerful time management tool in the world is the word 'no',
as in "No, I won't take on that commitment of time and
energy (but thanks so much for asking! :-)"

2. Find a time management system that works for you and
actually use it

There are any number of time management systems on offer
today, and most of them will be effective to the degree that
you actually use them. If you're self-employed or left to
your own devices at work, I highly recommend the work of
Mark Forster (see the 'Want to Learn More?' section at the
end of this tip to learn more).

3. Become less efficient

While Parkinson's law ("Work expands so as to fill the time
available for its completion") has never been repealed,
sometimes allowing our work to expand is just what the
doctor ordered. Giving yourself more time than you need to
complete a task can be great fun if you consciously use
that time to engage more deeply with the task

4. Get help!

In his research into sustained personal success, management
consultant Marcus Buckingham isolated one key factor that
all the subjects in his study had in common - they had
figured out what they didn't like doing and by and large,
stopped doing it. The easiest way to do this, of course, is
to delegate it to someone else.

I've only recently gotten up the nerve to hire an assistant,
and already I wouldn't be without her. It's like being the
cobbler in the story of the Elves and the Shoemaker - each
night I put out a list of what I want done and the next
time I walk into the office, it is!

5. Single-task

For those of you who are reading this tip while drinking a
coffee, watching the news, filing your nails, and/or
speaking on the phone with a client, one of the most
valuable experiments you will ever do is to spend a day
doing only one thing at a time and notice the difference.
When you are reading, just read. When you are eating, just
eat. When you are with someone, just be with them.

6. Do what you love (and love what you do)

When you're doing what you love (and loving what you do),
you will tend to naturally engage in each of the other five
strategies mentioned above...

*You'll say no to most things because you're already doing
what you love.

*You'll tend to use time management systems because you'll
need to - otherwise you'd work 24 hours a day

*You'll gladly sacrifice efficiency for the joy of getting
to indulge in your passion

*You'll get help with the stuff you don't love so you can
spend more time with what you do

*You'll do one thing at a time because it's so wonderful for
you to do them

Today's Experiment:

1. What can you say 'no' to this week? This can be anything
from an invitation from a colleague to a TV program to the
voice in your head telling you all the things you 'should'
be doing instead of reading this tip!

2. Buy a copy of Mark Forster's amazing new book, 'Do It
Tomorrow and Other Secrets of Time Management'.
It's only
available from the UK at the moment - you can get it via
this link:

3. When you're estimating the time it will take you to get
things done this week, multiply by 1.5
(i.e. give yourself
90 minutes for each hour's worth of work). Feel free to
play with that ratio (either longer or shorter) - you will
find there's an optimal amount of time expansion that allows
you to eliminate the hurry without turning it into

4. Find at least one thing you don't like doing you can
outsource this week.
Don't let yourself be limited by money
- feel free to beg, borrow or barter!

5. Experiment with single-tasking. Remember, just because
you *can* do three things at once doesn't mean you're going
to enjoy doing them.

6. If you're not already doing what you love, choose a
mundane task (washing dishes, watering plants, etc.) and
practice loving doing it.
Just as an experiment, do it with
energy, enthusiasm, and like it matters - as if it's the
most wonderful and important thing in the world.

Have fun, learn heaps, and take your time - after all, it is
yours to take!

With love,

Comments? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts on the discussion forums at:


"Inward calm cannot be maintained unless physical strength is constantly
and intelligently replenished."

-- Gautama Buddha

~*~ Topic of the Week ~*~

Now that summer is here (in the states), and most of us spend more time
outdoors, I thought it might be a good idea to remind you about a basic
(and critical) act of self-care -- drinking enough water.

Your body weight is made up of 50 - 75% water depending on your size. In
order for your body to function at optimum levels, it needs to be well
hydrated at all times. There are enormous health benefits to drinking
water. For example, water transports nutrients and oxygen throughout the
body keeping your immune system strong. It carries toxins out of the body
helping to prevent illness. And, for those of you interested in losing
weight, studies have shown that water even helps the body to metabolize
stored fat.

There's a good chance that you may be dehydrated if you experience one or
more of the following issues:

~*~ low blood pressure
~*~ fogginess or fatigue
~*~ constipation
~*~ dry skin or eyes
~*~ low mental performance
~*~ dizziness
~*~ sore joints
~*~ constant colds or flu
~*~ swollen feet, legs or hands

We usually think about drinking water when we feel thirsty, but by that
time it means that our body is already dehydrated. The truth is that most
of us know we need to drink more water, we just forget. So, this week
it's time to drink up by using helpful reminders. For example, you might:

1. Purchase a large water bottle and make a point to finish at least 3 a

2. Keep a bottle of water in your car, on your desk at work, or in your

3. Drink a large glass of water with every meal.

4. Write the word "water" somewhere in your daily calendar for the next 30
days until it becomes a habit.

5. Install a water cooler in your home or office.

There are certain situations that will require you to drink more than the
recommended 8 glasses of water a day. For example, if you exercise
regularly you'll need to drink more. And, if you drink alcohol or
caffeine, you'll need an extra glass for every drink you have (both cause
dehydration). You'll know you're headed in the right direction when you
find yourself visiting the bathroom more often throughout the day :).
Remember, if you're dehydrated, you're not taking care of an important
basic need. Ultimately, drinking enough water is a fundamental act of self

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

Stop and check in with your body right now. Are you thirsty? Does your
skin or eyes feel dry? Is your thinking clear or foggy?

The goal this week is to increase your intake of water every day. Fill a
large bottle or glass with clean, pure water right now (I'll wait :).
Then, keep this bottle or glass with you at all times. You'll know you've
created a new healthy habit when you find yourself naturally reaching for
more water throughout the day.

How to Be Free of Mr. & Mrs. Fix-It

Mr. & Mrs. Fix-It are those parts of our minds that tend to focus on
what needs to be changed, improved, controlled, or micro-managed in
some way. The birth of Mr. & Mrs. Fix-It comes from the mind's
addiction to finding perfection. The mind is constantly thinking
about what is not "right" in someone, or yourself, and wants to help
"fix" it. Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It actually have good intentions about
helping yourself, partner, friend, co-worker, or family member become
a better person, yet this person only hears the message as a
complaint or criticism against them. Trying to fix others only makes
them feel more imperfect, incomplete, and inadequate. Nobody likes to
hear the message that there is something inherently wrong with them.
The more "fix-it" energy is there, the more problems start
manifesting within the relationship.

Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It create the MOST amount of havoc in intimate
relationships. Have you ever noticed how easily you can feel
alienated when someone is trying to fix you? The more we tend to
focus on what NEEDS fixing within our partner and ourselves, the more
unhappy we feel about our life as it is. This incorigiable "Let's
Fix-Them" energy will only lower your intimacy, feelings of
connection, and love that you have with others. The more you want to
fix someone, the more they respond with the tendency to defend their
turf and try to prove that they are right and do not need fixing! In
the end, you often create emotional tug-a-wars by trying to fix
someone who really hasn't asked to be fixed.

Here are 3 easy steps to liberate yourself from Mr. or Mrs. Fix-It:

1. Get curious about why you want to fix whatever you want to fix.

How is it going to impact you to fix this "supposed" problem? The
important thing is to really get curious about your motivation and
notice if you have an emotional attachment to a specific outcome. Do
you need them (or yourself) to be a certain way for you to feel OK
inside? If you do have an attachment, use one of the letting go of
attachment exercises taught in The 90 Manifesting Program
<>; to let it go. Offering support
without attachment can be very empowering for both parties whereas
offering help with an attachment can feel extremely non-supportive
and will often back-fire.

2. Determine if your assistance is truly wanted.
Once you let go of having to help, you can then ask if the person
would like support. If they want support and it feels empowering to
assist them, you are free to offer your assistance. However, if you
feel that they are only saying "yes" to please you (and really do not
want your help), it is best to let go of the whole idea of "fixing"
them. To paraphrase Stuart Wilde, if you see someone lying down in
the gutter in need of help, and they do not reach up to grab a hold
of your hand when you offer it to them, then they do not want support
at that moment. Remember that it is O.K. for them to not want to be
helped because the person's soul is on its own path, and needs to
learn a personal life lesson from the "unwanted" situation that he or
she is experiencing.

3. Refocus your mind on what you love about the person that want to

If you find yourself wanting to fix a person, take a moment to list
at least 5 things you love, respect, or appreciate about the person.
Keep your mind focused on why this person is really an amazing human
being and what they can teach you. Every time you want to fix them,
just focus on the divine beauty that is already a part of them. You
may be surprised at the changes that occur when you change your

Letting go of Mr. or Mrs. Fix-It will create an immense change in
your vibration. You will be amazed to discover the joy and powerful
creative energy that is hidden behind this identity. As you let go of
the Fix-It habit, your ability to empower others will skyrocket, and
you will attract the relationships you want with effortless ease.
Enjoy the ride!!

Learn how to manifest the relationships you desire with The 90 Day
Manifesting Program at:

Many Blessings
Jafree & Margot

How to Open your Love Valve

Your heart is a powerful manifesting vehicle. The more love your
heart radiates, the faster you will attract your soul mate and/or
recognize him or her in your life. Now imagine that your heart has a
"love valve" on it. This valve measures how much love you are giving
and receiving. It ranges from 1% to 100%. Check and see how open is
it right now? How open is it on your average day at work? If you find
your heart is ANYWHERE less than 100%, you are missing out on the
purpose of your effortlessly receive and give LOVE!

This may surprise you, yet as long as your love valve is open, you
cannot get hurt in any relationship. With an open love valve your
partner, friend or family member can be in the worst mood and
say/think whatever they want, and as long as your heart is open your
relationship will remain positive. It's only when you close off your
heart and shut it down trying to protect yourself from pain that
causes a negative relationship to develop.

Here is a powerful technique for keeping your heart open to love:

For the next 30 days, focus on sending love to everyone you meet.
When you see or think about someone, imagine that you are sending
them a ball of warm gentle energy from your heart. Shower them with
love!! Allow yourself to feel what it is like to send people this
loving energy. Practice doing this with the driver of the car in
front of you, your spouse, your colleagues at work, the person in
front of you at the grocery store, etc....You will be amazed at how
you feel after just 24 hours of consciously doing this exercise...

If you find it challenging to find or manifest your soul mate, it's
because your heart (love valve) is partially closed. In fact, you may
already be very close to knowing your soul mate, yet because of past
wounding around relationships you may not even notice them. You can
do an inner journey to heal past relationship wounds inside your
heart and manifest your soul mate at the same time! Click here to
find out more information:

Much Love to you!
Margot & Jafree

Human nature


     Every day, bombarded by acts of cruelty, we ask ourselves: how can men be capable of so much evil? The example stretches from Riode Janeiro, where a journalist friend (Tim Lopes) was barbarously tortured to death, all the way to the Abu Graib prison in Iraq where young American men and women who always behaved in exemplary fashion in their own small provincial communities back home end up behaving like monsters.
      In 1971, professors from Stanford University in the United States created a sort of simulated prison in the basement of the Psychology Department. Using no special criterion, they chose 12 students as guards and another 12 as prisoners, all from the same social background, middle class, strict upbringing, dignified moral values. For two weeks the “prison guards” would be given total power over the “prisoners”.
      The experience had to be interrupted after a week: after a few days the “guards” began to reveal a form of behavior that became increasingly sadistic and abnormal, committing barbarities never before suspected. Today, over 30 years later, the two groups still need psychological counseling.
      The idealizer of the Stanford experience, Philip Zimbardo, told the Herald Tribune: “I was not surprised at the photos of the Abu Graib prison in Iraq. This is not a group of rotten apples placed in a basket of fresh fruit, but exactly the opposite: when faced with the possibility of absolute power, people of good sentiments lose all notion of limits and let the most primitive instincts be released.
      Another interesting study was carried out by Stanley Milgram for Yale University. A group of students was chosen to study “punishment techniques”. They stayed on one side of a glass with a machine for electrical shocks, while on the other side of the glass a student had to give the right answers to certain questions. Every time he made a mistake, the students were to apply a shock, progressively increasing the voltage, even knowing that after a certain point they could kill their fellow student.
      The machine for shocks was false and the “student” was an actor, but the students in the experience did not know that. To everyone’s surprise, 65% of the “interrogators” reached what would have been the mortal dose.
      In short, when we are faced with situations that allow us total and absolute control over someone else, none of us can be certain that we will not overstep the limits. But only those who have undergone this type of experience (and, unfortunately, I remember certain attitudes during my youth that would include me in this group) know that at a certain moment we completely lose control and move beyond reason.
      If this is human nature, what are we to do? An old story that takes place in the Pyrenees – possibly a legend – tells how a certain monk called Savin, who came to collect donations in gold for the chapel he wanted to build, passed by the house of one of the most feared bandits in the region. Since he had nowhere to spend the night, he asked if he could stay there.
      The bandit, surprised at the monk’s courage, decided to test him, and asked:
     “You have come here to provoke me. You want me to kill you and steal your money and make you a martyr. If the most beautiful prostitute in town came through that door right now, would you be able to think she wasn’t beautiful and seductive?”
     “No. But I would be able to control myself.”
     “And if a monk came in with gold to build a chapel, would you be able to look at that gold as if it were stones?”
     “No. But I would be able to control myself.”
     Savin and the assassin had the same instincts — good and evil fought for them, just as they fight for every soul on the face of the Earth. When the evildoer saw that the monk was just like him, he also understood that he was just like Savin, and became converted.
      We have good and evil before us, and it is all a matter of control.
      Nothing more than that.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho  

"What you say no to defines your life."

--Niki Vettel

~*~ Topic of the Week ~*~

Last week I received an e-mail from a woman who said she felt overwhelmed
by all there is to do during her day. She had the best of intentions to
get certain things done, but at the end of the day, surprises kept popping
up and making other demands. For example, she'd promise herself that she'd
go to bed early, but then notice the dishes in the sink, remember an email
that needed to be sent, or find a video that had to be returned before
midnight. Inevitably she'd end up taking care of these tasks
instead of honoring her priority of getting more rest. She said she felt
"run over by life" and wanted advice on how to handle these surprises more

When we feel as though life is running us, it's usually a good indication
that we've forgotten who's in charge. We start reacting to life,
frantically trying to get everything done, becoming the proverbial fireman
(or woman). In this state, we usually look for a way to get more organized
or to handle the craziness more efficiently. But I prefer to take a
different approach -- I like to eliminate the craziness altogether.

In the last several decades life has become much more complicated.
Technology has grown at a rapid pace while our "human technology" -- our
ability to stay focused, set limits, and manage our time in a way that
honors our self-care, has not. For example, years ago when we wanted to
reach someone, we made a call, and, if they weren't in, we had to call
them back. Now, because of voicemail or email, we're left with the burden
of responding to others. If we're not skilled at saying no, setting
boundaries, or sitting with the anxiety that comes from choosing our needs
over others, we end up trying to do it all -- a recipe for feeling
obligated and resentful.

The key to reclaiming control over your time and your life has to do with
learning to manage yourself better. Start by letting go of little things.
For example, when you notice the dishes in the sink or the email that
needs to be sent, make a life-affirming choice. Decide that your self-care
and rest is more of a priority than handling these two items. Or, when
you're tired and you suddenly remember the video that needs to be
returned, just go to bed knowing that good sleep is worth more than the
late fee you'll pay the next day.

Too often I've heard clients say things like "I'll let myself relax once I
return these phone calls or get my office organized," but if we waited for
all of our to-do items to be completed before we allowed ourselves to
enjoy life, we'd wait a very long time. Always remember: The in-box of
life never empties. After a while, as you train yourself to let go of the
little things, you'll realize that these simple changes in your
decision-making process are the first step in reclaiming control over your

Finally, when faced with a stressful situation, put things into
perspective. As soon as you start feeling frustrated or burdened, stop and
ask yourself the following question: "What's really at stake here?" Unless
someone will die because of your inability to complete something, simply
walk away, get some fresh air, and reconsider your priorities. After all,
the quality of your life is all about the priorities *you* set.

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

This week's challenge has to do with letting go. When you start to feel
stressed or overwhelmed, look for one thing to let go of immediately.
Instead of going through email before you leave the office to have dinner
with your family, let it go and enjoy the company of those who really
matter. Or, rather than picking up all the kids' toys before going out,
leave them be and get out of the house peacefully. Remember this: You
cannot make everything a priority and enjoy a fulfilling life. Pick and
choose carefully!

Cheryl Richardson

You are what you think you are...

"You are what you think you are. If you think of yourself as an
infinite being with unlimited potentiality who is the master of your
universe... then you are! If you think of yourself as a powerless
limited being then you are a powerless limited being. What you think
about yourself is who you are. To change who you are, change what you
think about yourself."

~Jody Sachse

Many blessings,
Jafree & Margot


'The maximum time span a person can work with - that
person's maximum achieved time span - measures and defines
that person's level of cognitive power.'

-Elliot Jaques

In 1858, or so the story goes, the caretaker at New College,
Oxford noticed that the beams in the ceiling of the College
Hall had begun to decay due to a combination of age and
insect damage. This was a cause for some concern, not only
because of the safety issues involved but also because in
order to replace the beams a substantial number of oak trees
at least 150 years old would need to be found and

The solution came when the situation was explained to the
college forester, who reportedly said, "Well, sir, we was
wondering when you'd be asking about that..."

Apparently, when the College Hall was first built in 1386, a
stand of oak trees was planted on college land for the
express purpose of being available to replace the beams when
they eventually succumbed to the ravages of time. Nearly
five hundred years later, that little bit of forward
planning finally paid off and the trees were felled.

So how far ahead have you been planning? What are some of
the inevitabilities in your life that might be worth
planning for now?

Today's experiment will provide you with a good starting

1. Take a piece of paper and hold it sideways so the top and
bottom are longer than the sides.

2. Divide the paper into a grid of 30 boxes - five across
and six down.

3. At the top of the very first box, write in the year
'2006' and your current age. Mark the next box across
'2007' and the age you will be next year. Continue on until
all thirty boxes are labeled.

4. Now comes the fun bit - fill in the boxes with your own
'best guess' at what you think you might be doing in each of
the next thirty years. Be sure to include both your plans
and your inevitabilities - those things you would like to
happen and those things that you can fairly safely predict
will happen.

5. As you look at the various scenarios you have created,
think about what acorns could you plant today that will have
turned into mighty oaks by the time you need them.

For example, are you liable to want to send your kids to
university at some point in the next thirty years? Then you
may want to plant some acorns in a tax-deferred college
savings account.

Will you be looking to retire? Again, a few acorns planted
in fertile soil now will grow into a lot of quality oak
trees in thirty years.

Are you liable to be dead? (I know, I know, not the
cheeriest thought but apparently it does happen eventually!

Then some acorns planted in a 20 or 30 year term
life-insurance policy will make sure there's plenty of shade
for those you leave behind...

Have fun, learn heaps and begin planting those acorns today
- you never know when a good solid oak tree might come in

With love,

Comments? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts on the discussion forums at:

Let the celebrations begin!

We all want to be liked, valued, and appreciated,
don't we? And
when we aren’t we usually feel pretty awful. All too
often, however, it's because we care too
much what other people think about us. We live
our lives in
pleasing mode, trying to impress our in-laws, amaze
our boss, have the perfect house, and do our
children’s school projects. We worry more about what
others believe about us than what we know to be
true. We snub the ones who snub us and we embrace
those who like us. We are mirror reflections instead
of independent thinkers.

Now of course, we need to be politically correct at
times, gracious at others, and occasionally
grin-and-bear-it diplomatically when our
mother-in-law corrects our parenting, but we
certainly do not have to be quite so fragile and
sensitive. The fact remains that we will never
please everyone.

This need for approval starts when we are children,
looking to our parents for validation. It reminds me
of a little while
back when I went to visit my in-laws and I spent
some time with
my 10 month-old nephew. Every time he did something
funny or brave we would cheer and clap. He would
laugh and try harder to impress us. I was intrigued
by this natural phenomenon. Searching for approval
is part of our natural make-up. We long to be
loved and admired. And, I'm sure had we suddenly
began to
berate or frown upon my little nephew he, too, would
have felt
devastated, just like the rest of us often do.

The problem lies when this need for approval still
dictates our choices as adults: Does it upset you
when someone you care about doesn’t agree with you?
Does it bother you if someone doesn’t like you? Do
you feel your
trigger being hit and does your body begin sending
you warning signs? Do you get defensive or reactive?
Would you do just about anything to convince them of
your point of view?

But, what if you
can't convince them? What do you do when someone
doesn't like you, approve
of you, or even worse, they don't want you?

Well, for many of us nothing comforts
better than
comfort food when we are feeling down and out.
Others find temporary solace in shopping, gambling,
or new relationships. Some numb their pain with
alcohol, drugs, meaningless sex, or escaping into
their work. Often these escapes become
bad habits. When we feel hurt, upset, or defensive
we harbor resentment and most often we don’t know
how to move
beyond that pain--we don't know how to process
it--and so we end
up self-sabotaging. The pain ends up getting stuck
inside of us and it eventually manifests as some
kind of dysfunction; be it an illness, an eating
disorder, a syndrome, or an addiction.

The first step to moving forward--to freeing your own
body of this pain--and to living your own
authentic life is accepting that you are not
responsible for someone else’s hurtful or neglectful
behavior but you are accountable for your reaction
to it and how you allow it to affect your life. Even
though it's hard to accept, we must
that no one
can make us feel unworthy or unloved. No one can
make us feel anything. Our feelings are "our
own" and they always come from within us. People may
be mean or thoughtless but when we feel good about
ourselves--when we honour our own spirit and have
the courage to speak our truth--we are able to rise
above cruelty and not make it mean anything about

If you find that you are constantly feeling offended
or hurt by others than I urge you to look at what it
is that they are
saying that is triggering you so badly and do the
work of releasing yourself from the fear that
they might be saying may, in fact, be true! If we were
honest, it is only statements that somehow resonate
with us as possible truths that
cause us the most despair. Make peace with your
"supposed" flaws. Find the lesson and strength in
them. For once you make peace with you, others will
trigger you less and less!

Accepting other people for who they are doesn’t mean
we should allow anyone to continually hurt us or let
us down. If someone persistently mistreats you, you
need to set stronger boundaries. Ask yourself:
Why are you choosing to surround yourself with an
abusive, unhappy person? Are they like this with
everyone or just you? Are they simply responding
from their own sense of fear? Have you been
neglectful or inconsiderate to them and now they are
safe-guarding themselves? Is this your issue or

If you know this isn’t your issue, and they really
matter to you, perhaps you can dig deep and search
for forgiveness and understanding. This takes
courage. It takes realizing that it
is their own fear and feelings of inadequacy that
compels them to lash out at you, not your
supposed flaws.
Remember that a person who is in deep pain either
lashes out at the world or internalizes it and

In a gentle and loving way you can tell them how
much you love them but that you cannot allow them to
treat you this way any longer. If they continually
attack you then this is someone you may need to have
real courage with, which means using some
"tough love" and limiting
contact with them until they decide to get help for
their own anger. You don't need to be anybody's
punching bag!

The more you begin to take each negative situation
or distraught relationship to this level of empathy
and understanding, the more empowered you will feel
in your own life. Rather than living in a state of
instinctive reaction and fear, you will live
proactively with courage, joy, and authenticity.
Success will
come easily and eating or drinking for comfort or
plunging into an unhealthy relationship will lose
their appeal. A glass of wine and a great meal will
be a celebration. Making love will become a surreal
union. Shopping will be guilt-free and relationships
will be fulfilling. You will live with passion and
purpose and see the world as an incredible place.
You will be excited about getting up each morning!
And that is the way to live!

Crystal Andrus

It's SUPER MANifestor!!

By Margot Zaher and Jafree Ozwald

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's SUPER MANifestor! Able to leap tall
buildings in a single bound, able to manifest any desire faster than
a speeding bullet! SUPER MANifestor is here! Have you ever wanted to
become super human like superman? If we could wave a magic wand over
you and instantly give you super manifesting powers for one day, what
would you do? What would you create, how would you think, and what
would be the first thing you'd experience if you were a Superman or
Superwoman? If you could make anything manifest into your life in a
FLASH what would it be?

Well, guess what? You are already a SUPER MANifestor! You have the
hidden powers buried inside you to easily and effortlessly manifest
anything you desire. Actually you are more powerful than Superman
since kryptonite won't even faze you! Perhaps you may have gotten
super-amnesia and have forgotten that you truly do have super
manifesting powers inside. That is why you are reading this
wake you up into realizing the SUPER MANifesting being that you
already are! Discovering and implementing the unlimited potential
energy inside yourself is not hard to do, it just takes a willingness
to let go of all your preconceived ideas about who you are and being
open to the possibility that you can manifest anything you want. The
next secret is learning how to raise your manifesting vibration and
DOING IT daily so that you resonate with this Superman-like
consciousness. At this level synchronistic miracles start occurring
everywhere you go and you KNOW you can instantly manifest your

Start boosting your vibration today by relaxing into the knowingness
that you can manifest anything at will. Get super clear on what you
want to manifest, and write it down! Make sure that all parts of you
are in alignment and truly desire whatever it is you want. If there
is an internal disagreement or limiting belief inside, it will hold
you back and suppress your natural manifesting powers. Our
manifesting meditations will assist you in creating this inner
alignment. After you become 100% aligned then ignite the SUPER
MAnifesting energy by seeing and feeling yourself already manifesting
your desire! Really allow yourself to feel it completely and fully.
The more you can feel the energy of having ALREADY created your
dream, the faster it will show up. Lastly, let go of your attachment
to any perceived idea of how something should manifest and trust that
the Universe will manifest the perfect thing for you!!

We have created a SUPER MANifesting package that contains EVERYTHING
you need to harness your Super-manifesting powers and create whatever
you desire. You can manifest financial freedom, meet your soul mate,
experiencing a spiritual awakening, an amazing relationship with your
partner, etc. This special package includes The 90 Day Manifesting
Program, The 8 Day Manifesting E-course, and ALL 7 Manifesting
Meditations! Download it instantly now at this link:
Many Blessings to You!
Margot and Jafree

Experiencing the Divine Perfection in Everything

The world has a natural order and perfection that is easy to
experience if we just focus our awareness in that direction. As you
know, what you put your energy on grows stronger. The more you take
time to look for the beauty and the perfection around you, the more
you'll see, feel, and experience the awesome Divine energy that is
within all beings and things on the planet. It's only your mind that
stops you from percieving and seeing the Divine in every experience,
person, and thing. The mind tends to complain about things that it
perceives as bad or wrong because it is not in alignment with its
plans or expectations. While the mind mind may grumble and get upset
about these experiences, in hindsight we can always see the perfect
and gift in every perceived "negative" event if we look deep enough
with quiet introspection.

If life were a big beautiful puzzle, the mind can only perceive one
piece of the puzzle that you are currently holding and not the entire
assembled puzzle. Your mind has this misconception that the world is
not perfect because things sometimes do not go according to its plan.
Yet, the mind believes it is the one that is responsible for managing
your world. The truth is the mind is not the only Supreme ruler of
the entire Universe so your mind has no idea how the whole puzzle is
going to look once it is assembled, or how all of the pieces of the
puzzle of life are going to fit together. Yet, you can trust that the
Universe does have a grand design and that all of the pieces are
perfect even in their perceived imperfections.

Take the one day Divine perfection challenge. For one day, I
challenge you to spend your time seeing and feeling how the world is
utterly perfect exactly as it is. Wake up in the morning and notice
the perfection of the weather whether its super hot, freezing, or
raining. Next look at yourself in the bathroom mirror and see the
perfection of your face looking back at you. At work, play with how
absolutely divinely your work is unfolding and how amazingly perfect
your colleagues are. Over dinner, notice the divine perfection in
your children, partner, or housemate. Even while you are driving,
focus on how perfect it is for someone to cut you off in traffic or
for there to be a traffic jam four miles long. At the end of the day,
notice how different you feel after spending the day bathing in the
deep knowingness that all is Divine. Just spend 5 minutes exploring
the difference you feel in your bodymind and heart.

You will see that this new perspective on life does something magical
to your entire being. It allows the mindbody to let go and come to a
deeper sense of peace and trust. When you trust the Universe, your
ability to manifest your desires dramatically increases. You start
naturally sending out a higher vibration of energy that attracts to
you what you desire. So let go and start enjoying the perfection that
is in you and in all things from the smallest flower to the tallest

If you'd like to discover and experience the Divine Perfection within
yourself, instantly download the Guided Meditation to Experiencing
Samadhi at:

Many blessings to you,
Jafree & Margot


"The more constraints one imposes, the more one frees one's self of the chains that shackle the spirit."
-Igor Stravinsky

As I've often written about in these tips, I live and coach by a simple yet powerful rule of thumb: The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important. This is true in any area of your life - the results you produce will be a direct and reliable result of your priorities. Prioritize doing what you love at work and watch your career begin to thrive; prioritize kindness, courage and communication at home and your relationships will soar. So what's the most important thing to prioritize (i.e. 'make important') if you want to move forward more quickly on a project or a goal? Well, one of my favorite theories in the field of productivity management is Eliyahu Goldratt's 'Theory of Constraints' (see the 'Want to Learn More?' section at the end of the tip to learn more). The theory is that when you prioritize identifying and relaxing the constraints that limit an organization's ability to reach a higher level of goal attainment, you will make that organization more productive. An example Goldratt uses in his book 'The Goal' is that of a Boy Scout troop going for a hike in the woods. All the boys hike at different speeds, and one boy in particular (named 'Herbie' in the book) tends to be the slowest of them all. If you want to get them all in to camp in the fastest time possible, what order do you need to put them in? In particular, where do you need to put Herbie? Take a few moments to think about this now - where would you put the slowest kid in order to get the whole troop to camp in the fastest time? Would you put him at the beginning? The middle? The end? Or would you just allow the boys to create their own order based on whatever speed they happen to be going that day? Let's think this through together... Because the troop can't arrive any faster than Herbie arrives anyway, it doesn't help to let the faster boys go at their own pace. They'll only wind up sitting around waiting for him. If Herbie is placed in the middle of the line, you'll wind up with two groups arriving at camp at different times - the kids who are ahead of Herbie and the ones who are stuck in line behind him. So the somewhat surprising answer is that the fastest way to get *everyone* to camp is to put Herbie at the very front of the line and do whatever you can to help him walk faster (i.e. encourage him, split the contents of his pack between the stronger boys, etc.). What does this have to do with you? Well, if you want to make the fastest possible progress on a project or goal, you need to first identify and then exploit the key constraints - that is the main 'sticking point' which is slowing down your progress. By identifying and 'unsticking' that point, you will keep your project flowing ahead as quickly as possible. Here is an example from a recent client session: Tim is a screenwriter who wasn't writing and was thinking about giving up. His first answer to the question 'what's the key sticking point?' was that he was tired all the time because of his new baby. While that was certainly possible, I knew lots of writers (myself included!) who manage to write even when they're getting little or no sleep, so I asked him 'what else could it be?' 'I'm lazy.' 'What else?' 'I don't have the discipline to succeed in this business?' We went back and forth like that until Tim went absolutely blank - he said he was feeling 'a bit spacey' and really tired, both of which in my experience are excellent signs that you're getting close to the truth. So I asked the question a bit differently this time: 'What's the one thing which if you did that, everything else would follow?' After only a few moments, he said 'well, I suppose if I got my laptop fixed that might get things going again.' I was a bit stunned that he had overlooked that bit of information up until this point in the conversation, but I decided to keep probing anyway. 'What stops you from getting your laptop fixed?' And finally, we got down to the real sticking point - he didn't know his warranty number. I asked him to make finding that warranty number his top priority for the week. Two days later he called me to say that his computer was up and running; by our next session together he had written twenty pages of a new screenplay, the first pages he had written in nearly three months. When I thought about Tim a bit more, it struck me that if he hadn't kept looking for the key constraint on his productivity, he might have actually given up on a career he loved, blaming himself or his family when all the while all that was slowing him down was a warranty number. It reminded me of the old poem:
For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a nail.

Today's Experiment:

1. Choose a goal or project which you are feeling stuck with
(or would like to accelerate the speed of your progress with).

2. Ask yourself any or all of the following questions until you identify the key constraint - the one thing which is slowing everything else down:
*What is the one thing which if I did that, everything else would follow? *What stops me from moving forward faster? *What's the key sticking point?

3. When you have identified the key constraint or 'sticking point', make resolving, enhancing or moving past it your top priority.

4. Repeat any time it feels like you are losing momentum on your project or goal. Like sticks floating down a river, just because you've unstuck things once or even a dozen times doesn't mean they won't get stuck again.

Have fun, learn heaps, and don't give up the kingdom for the want of a nail! With love, michael Comments? Feedback? Please post your thoughts on the discussion forums at:

Small stories


In the tavern
     Rabbi Wolf entered a bar by chance. Some people were drinking, others were playing cards, and the atmosphere seemed heavy. The rabbi left without saying a word.
      A young man followed him out: “I know that you didn’t like what you saw in there,” he said. “That’s a place for sinners.”
     “No, I liked what I saw,” Wolf answered. “Those are men learning to lose everything. When they have lived the experience of losing, all that will remain is for them is to return to God. And from that moment on, what excellent servants they will make!”

Ten percent
“To be like me is very simple,” said the richest man in Babylonia. “All you have to understand is that a tenth of what you earn is yours.”
     “That makes no sense,” answered the young man. “All that I earn is mine.”
     “Don’t you pay the tailor? Don’t you pay the baker every day? You can’t live even for a day without spending. You pay everybody except yourself. From now on, pay yourself a tenth of your salary. Don’t forget that the paths of wealth are magical and strange; if you take good care of that tenth, one day it will reward all your efforts.”

Beyond the port
     A hermit from the monastery of Sceta came up to Abbot Theodore:
     “I know exactly what the objective of life is. I know what God asks of man, and I know the best way to serve Him. And even so, I am unable to do all that I should be doing to serve the Lord.”
     “You know that there exists a city on the other side of the ocean,” replied Theodore. “But you haven’t found the ship yet, you still haven't packed your bags on board, and you haven’t crossed the sea. Why keep talking about what it is like and how we should walk down the streets? Put into practice what you’re saying and the path will reveal itself to you.”

At heaven’s door
When Don Enrique died he went straight to heaven. He knocked hard on the door and a voice asked: “Who’s there?”
     “It’s Don Enrique Fernandez of Valdivieso.”
     “Well go away, there’s no room here for two,” said the voice. And so Don Enrique was sent to Purgatory. Some time later, he very timidly returned to heaven.
     “Who is it?” asked the voice. “It’s me,” answered Don Enrique.
     “There’s no room here for two,” repeated the voice.
     Don Enrique went back to Purgatory. One day he went back to knock on heaven’s door.
     “Who is it?” asked the voice. “A small part of God,” he answered.
      And heaven’s door opened to him.

Rigor and compassion
     In the heart of winter the samurai presented himself to the Zen master.
     “I am dying of cold and hunger and I have no way of supporting myself.”
      Filled with pity, the master went to the statue of Yakushi-Buda, removed the gold chain that adorned the neck and handed it to the samurai.
     The other pupils complained: "sacrilege!"
     "Why sacrilege?" asked the master. "You have heard tell of David, who ate the bread from the tabernacle when he was hungry. Christ cured on the Sabbath whenever that was necessary. All I did was put the spirit of Buddha into action: now love and compassion can do their work."

Wrong questions
     What is wisdom
      A Sufi story tells us of a man who lived in Turkey who heard of a great master who lived in Persia who held the secret of wisdom.
      Without hesitating, he sold his things, took leave of his family and went off in search of this secret. After years of traveling he managed to arrive at a cabin where the great master lived. Filled with awe, he drew closer and waited for the wise man to return from his morning stroll.
     “I come from Turkey,” he said as soon as the wise man turned up. “I have made this long journey just to ask one question.”
     “That’s fine. You can ask just one question.”
     “I have to be clear in what I am going to ask; may I ask you in Turkish?”
     “You may, “ said the wise man. “And I have already asked your only question. Anything else you want to know, you ask your heart. You don’t have to travel so far to discover that it is the best counselor of all.”
      And he shut the door.

Why God did not help us
Master and disciple are walking through the deserts of Arabia. The Master uses each moment of the journey to teach his disciple about faith.
     “Entrust your things to God,” he said. “Because He never abandons His children.”
     When they camped down at night, the Master asked the disciple to tie the horses to a nearby rock. The disciple went over to the rock, but then remembered what he had learned that afternoon. “The Master must be testing me. The truth is that I should entrust the horses to God." And he left the horses loose.
      In the morning he discovered that the animals had run off. Indignant, he sought out the Master.
     “You know nothing about God! Yesterday I learned that I should trust blindly in Providence, so I gave the horses to Him to guard, and the animals have disappeared!”
     “God wanted to look after the horses,” answered the Master. “But at that moment he needed your hands to tie them up and you did not lend them to Him.”

It’s raining and can I go out?
     An old Buddhist story goes like this: a man is passing through a village under a heavy storm when all of a sudden he sees a house catching fire. Drawing closer, he sees another man – (the fable uses the beautiful image "with fire to the eyelashes ") – crying in his direction: “Is it raining?”
     The traveler is surprised.
     “Your house is catching fire!” he says.
     “I need to know if it’s raining or not. My mother told me that the rain can give us pneumonia.”
     Zao Chi comments on the fable: "wise is the man who manages to change the situation when he is forced to do so. Foolish is the man who does not trust the hand of God, only the answers of his fellow humans."

What is the first step?
A man decided to visit a hermit who lived near the monastery of Sceta.
     “What is the first step of one who aims to follow the spiritual path?” he asked.
      The hermit took him to a well and asked him to look at his reflection in the water. The man obeyed, but the hermit began to throw small stones, making ripples on the surface.
     “I won’t be able to see my face right if you keep throwing stones.”
     “Just as it is impossible to see your face in troubled waters, so it is impossible to seek God if your mind is anxious about the search,” said the monk. “Don’t ask questions, just move forward with faith. This will always be the first and most important step of all.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho  

Making Your Off-the-Charts Plans

Summer arrives this week, along with its promise of light, warmth,
nourishment and growth. As summer's brightest light beams down on us for
the next several days, I encourage you to turn up the flame on your
passion and stretch beyond the limits of your daily routine. It's time
to step outside the status quo of your life, kick up your heels and plan
something off-the-charts for yourself! At the heart of my last book, The
Best Year of Your Life, is the idea that planning is an essential step
to creating a life that lights you up and turns you on. And I know that
there is nothing better to boost your self-esteem than doing something
that you've been talking about for years.

What is it that you've been talking about doing? Or what have you been
secretly wishing you could do? What could you plan for yourself that
would be enlivening, invigorating, eye-opening and heart-expanding for
you? Maybe it's planning a romantic weekend away with your partner,
registering for a yoga retreat or turning a corner of your house into an
art studio (even if you've never done more than paint by numbers). Or
perhaps you could schedule tennis lessons or go salsa dancing with a
group of friends. Parks and museums always have terrific summer
workshops, and if you live near a beach, this could be your summer for
those kayaking or surfing lessons that you've fantasized about.

One of our fabulous coaches, Carrie, has been encouraging me to take
ballroom dancing lessons, and I finally did it! I've taken three classes
recently, and I noticed something significant that has occurred each
time: I have a smile on my face from the moment I arrive until I walk
out the door at the end! I have so much fun gliding across the floor,
led by an able dance partner and uplifting music, that the smile arises
naturally and without a thought. While I'm dancing, I'm entirely
present...blissfully in the moment. As I drive away from the dance
studio, any challenges I face seem entirely manageable. It's amazing how
doing something so thoroughly enjoyable puts all things in perspective.

What will put a smile on your face?

As you're receiving this week's newsletter, I'm leading a workshop
aboard a cruise ship in the Mediterranean (more about this next week).
For many of the nearly 100 people joining me for a week of
transformation and high adventure, planning this trip was an
off-the-charts choice. It's a choice than will very likely alter how
they feel about themselves, what they see as possible for their lives
and the quality of choices they make in the future. In your deepest
heart, what is it that will have your internal flame burning brighter
this summer than you thought possible?

Take Action Now!

Plan it! Make the phone calls, google it, schedule it, put your deposit
down and give it to yourself - whatever it may be. Allow yourself more
fun and pleasure than you think you can stand!

Debbie Ford


"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to
decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside
your body."

-Elizabeth Stone

As many regular readers of these tips will know, I was an
extremely reluctant father. In fact, the first call I made
on being informed by my wife that she was pregnant was not
to my parents or even my friends but to the Samaritans
hotline. (Love the organization, but they weren't much help
- you'd think the fact I was phoning them would have tipped
them off to the fact that "congratulations!" wasn't what I
really needed to hear... :-)

Yet in the ensuing eleven and a half years, I've learned to
love being a dad - so much so that we've added two more
children to the mix and only a combination of exhaustion and
the occasional bout of common sense has kept us from
continuing to expand the family tribe.

What changed?

One answer is that I did, but a more accurate answer is that
my expectations and fears about what it meant to be a
parent changed. Here are three of the things that I thought
of as 'common knowledge' that have turned out in my own
life to be wonderfully untrue:

1. Once you have children, you have to put your own dreams


In the town I grew up in, people married young, had kids
young, and talked about "making a better life for their
children". And I decided at a very early age that I was
going to be the one of the children that had a better life.
The only thing that could stop me, or so I believed, was
having children before I was successful.

So after Nina told me she was pregnant and I was rebuffed in
my quest for comfort by the Samaritans, I began to resign
myself to giving up on my hopes and dreams as an actor and
writer and instead to begin training as a plumber. (When I
was growing up our next door neighbor was a plumber who
had 14 children, so no doubt that fact had seeped into my
childhood consciousness.)

I was doing my first West End play at the time, and I
decided not to tell any of the other cast members about my
predicament and newly minted career change. So it was a
wonderful coincidence when I overheard one of the actors (a
recent father himself) sharing two bits of wisdom that had
made a real difference to him.

The first was that 'every baby brings its own loaf of
bread'. And while I can't easily account to why that's
true, I have certainly found that my own outer success has
grown with the birth of each new child.

The second was something which has become for me a guiding

***The best gift you can give a child is a happy parent.***

2. Children are great - as long as you can give them back
when you're done with them!

I think of this as the 'grandparent theory' - that if you
really want to enjoy having children, skip the kids and move
straight to the grandkids so you can play with them when
they're happy and give 'em back when they start fussing.

But with my own children, I've found that quantity beats
quality every time. My favorite moments are often the 'in
between' bits - walking through a parking lot when a little
hand finds its way into mine, or in the midst of an
argument about bedtime when one of my daughters will say
something so innocent and trusting that I forget to be angry
and remember how lucky I am to have her to argue with.

(Case in point - as I was writing the previous paragraph, my
4 year old walked into my office and asked me 'when are we
going to Eddie's house? I want to go swimming.' A bit of
parental sleuthing revealed that when we told her we were
going on holiday to a house in Italy with a pool, she
translated that to 'we're going to Eddie's house to go

3. Your children will break your heart again and again.

This one turns out to be true, but not in the way that I
imagined. In order to have your heart broken in a bad way,
you need to have it set on something tenuous (like your
child becoming a doctor or marrying rich or winning the
football game or getting into Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard or

But to have it broken in a good way, all you have to do is
keep it open to being touched by loving hands. Mine broke
again this morning when my children marched upstairs to
present me with my father's day cards and gifts. Maisy
presented me with 'the keys to her heart' and permission to
hang them anywhere I wanted - my bedroom, the garage, or
even in the driveway. Clara gave me a beautifully crafted
card and a homemade tile sculpture with the words 'I (heart)
U DAD' on it.

After the girls had their hugs, my eleven year old son
Oliver (the one I'd phoned Samaritans about) somewhat
embarrassedly handed me a single sheet of white paper folded
in half with the words 'To Daddy' written in pencil on it.
In my mind, I began telling myself stories about how he
was getting older and I shouldn't really expect him to put
in the effort anymore.

Here is what it said inside the card:

Dear Daddy,

Happy Father's Day. I'm writing this letter to you as a
sign of appreciation for always being there for me. You've
never let me down. Whenever I was hurt in any way, you'd
always be there by my side.

You've made my day a happier one countless amounts of times.
You've made me laugh every day for as long as I can

You've helped me with schoolwork whenever I've needed it,
and always given me great advice. You inspired me to always
finish what I started, especially with baseball. You're my

I love you dad,

The thing that people forget about broken hearts is that
like broken bones, if you give them time and space to mend
they can grow back stronger than before. And a stronger
heart means an increased capacity to love and be loved.

No experiment this week - but if you've got any kids in your
life, today would be as good a time as any to let them know
that you are grateful for their presence in your life and
that they are well and truly loved.

Until next time,

Comments? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts on the discussion forums at:

Empower Others: Give up the lead role

Life Makeover For The Year 2006 (sm)
June 19, 2006
Week Twenty-Five -=- Empower Others
-=- Brought to you by Cheryl Richardson -=-


"No doubt another may also think for me; but it is not therefore
desirable that he should do so to the exclusion of my thinking for

--Henry David Thoreau

~*~ Topic of the Week ~*~

This week I had a chance to spend time with my best friend Max, someone
who is near and dear to my heart. Max has been going through a tough time
dealing with an all-too-common and very painful situation -- a mom who has

As I'm sure many of you can imagine (or know from personal experience), a
diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimers throws one's life into turmoil. There
is an enormous amount of energy that goes into dealing with the diagnosis
-- researching treatment options, finding the right caregivers, or
locating an appropriate place for a parent to live. And then, of course,
there's the challenge of dealing with the illness itself, managing the
financial resources, and facing the reality that you have now reversed
roles -- you've become the parent in the relationship.

While we discussed the situation, Max said something very interesting: "I
now realize why it's so important to let go of control and allow others to
take on some of the responsibility when it comes to managing our lives.
Since my dad died many years ago, my older sister had always managed my
mother's care, and now that she's gone (Max lost her only sibling to
cancer two years ago), I'm left to start from scratch. Had my sister
shared the burden with me earlier, I would have gained valuable knowledge
and experience that would make this current situation easier to handle."

Later in the day, after our conversation, I thought about my own life.
Where was I hanging onto control to the detriment of others? For example,
since I manage the finances for our family, I needed to think about
sharing some of that responsibility with my husband so he'd be able to
easily take over should something happen to me.

When we let go of control and allow someone else to take the reigns, we
empower others. We teach them to trust themselves, to become resourceful,
and to take greater responsibility for the quality of their lives. It's a
great argument for giving up the habit of overdoing. For those of us who
are used to being in charge, shifting this behavior can start in little

~*~ Letting your child choose his or her own clothes for school.
~*~ Letting a friend navigate directions to a new location without
~*~ Sharing household responsibilities with the kids (laundry, cooking,
~*~ Allowing your teenager to manage the maintenance of his or her own
~*~ Letting your spouse find his or her own parking space :).

Once you've had a chance to practice, you'll then be ready for bigger

~*~ Turning over the handling of the finances to your spouse or partner
for a while.
~*~ Sharing the caregiving of an elderly parent with another sibling (even
if he or she lives further away).
~*~ Allowing a friend to research vacation options.
~*~ Sitting back during a meeting and allowing a co-worker to take a lead

Letting go of control means surrendering to the reality that there will be
mistakes made. But that's how people learn, and rarely do mistakes cause
dire consequences. Instead, they provide others with an opportunity for
growth. After all, think about how you came to handle what you do so
well. As you let others take the lead, the real challenge will be to wait
and keep breathing when you're tempted to take back control when the
situation is not going according to your plans.

As I think more about my conversation with Max, I realize it's an
important issue. One that makes me ask myself: What would others struggle
with if I wasn't around to handle it? You might want to consider asking
yourself that question, too.

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

This week, look for ways that you tend to be in control and relax it a
little. Let someone else in the family cook dinner, invite a colleague to
take charge of a project, or put someone else in the family in charge of
the house responsibilities for a while. Empower others and allow them to

How to Reprogram Yourself for Success

The words you say in your mind to yourself and to others are the most powerful manifesting vehicles.  Each message that you think and think again, carries a certain vibrational energy that programs your mind and the cells in your body.  The thoughts you have create chemicals in your brain that bring you experiences of relaxation and peace or struggle.

Try this simple experiment.  Say the word, "YES" out loud.  How do you feel when you say that word?  Now, say the word, "NO" out loud. What do you notice after saying this word?  Most people find that the word "YES" gives them an expansive energy boost, and makes them feel more positive, while the word "NO" creates a mini wall of tension in their body.  Each word you think carries a vibrational quality behind it that impacts your “manifesting vibration”.  This vibration determines how easily and quickly you manifest your hearts desires into your life.
Your body’s manifesting vibrational energy acts like a blueprint, which the Universe uses to generate circumstances in your life.  Every time you use positive words in your mind (or out loud) you are really sending out a “request” or “command” to the Universe about what you are going to manifest.  You’ll find that thinking only positive thoughts will yield positive circumstances, while negative thoughts can only manifest negative circumstances.  The more a thought is repeated, the more it tends to influence your mind and life circumstance.  Since whatever you hold your attention upon is what grows and manifests, you certainly want to be conscious of the thoughts you allow your mind and body to experience.

This is where the power of affirmations comes in.  If you examine the word “affirmation” you can see the word “firm” is contained within it.  The repetitive positive message is being made energetically FIRM inside your body and mind.  It is strengthening each time it is summoned and its energy grows each time it is emotionally felt.  By FEELING these positive affirmation statements every day, you will find that you can let go of anything that may be stopping you from truly relaxing and enjoying your life.  As each affirmation is repeated daily, it deepens and softens into your body and mind.  This softening will cause it to simultaneously transform your reality and manifest it into your physical world.  As this alchemical process unfolds itself, you will find yourself moving from being the victim of life’s circumstances, to being the gentle master over every situation in your life. 

Affirmations are the most powerful, effective, and efficient way to reprogram your internal software and hardware from past negative thinking/feeling patterns into positive patterns that generate success.  This reprogramming allows you to maintain a more positive ego/identity which simply makes your life more relaxing, and successful.  Rather than continuing to tolerate and be defined by negative voices that are constantly being regurgitated inside your head, thoughts and feelings of abundance, joy, and freedom will automatically bubble up inside your mind throughout each day.  The more often you consciously repeat and affirm who you want to be sincerely from your heart, the more frequently those same thoughts tend to resurface naturally on their own, resulting in the creation of the abundant and successful life you desire.
Our new E-book "Affirmations to Manifest an Awakened, Empowered & Abundant Life" has a revolutionary method for integrating positive thinking habits into your body, mind and life.  It contains over 300 enlightening affirmations that will help you reprogram your life forever!  This 90 day program can be downloaded instantly here….Enjoy!

Many blessings to you,
Jafree & Margot

Nobody Can Tell Me What to Do!

..not even myself.

We say to ourselves, "I'm going to start saving money, lose weight,
spend more time with the kids, take yoga classes, work less, start that
project," etc. However, 90% of the time we don't do these things. Why
don't we do them? Why do we fail ourselves?

At a very early age - usually between 4 to 12 years old - most of us
adopted a righteous position that we were not going to do what others'
told us to do. And although that willful decision to direct our own
lives is a healthy one when we're growing up - helping us to become
independent and to individuate from our parents - as adults, "Nobody's
going to tell me what to do!" becomes an underlying commitment that
undermines our ability to fulfill our dreams. Rather than taking
important steps forward, we obey that long-held commitment instead. But
the important thing to understand is that our psyches don't distinguish
between what others tell us to do and what we tell ourselves to do.
There's no distinguishing between "you" and "me". In addition to
rebelling against the guidance of someone else, we also rebel against

I see various expressions of this dynamic in the workshops that I lead.
Inevitably, there are always a few people who come to the Shadow Process
determined - even though we ask them to trust in the structures and
ground rules that are set-up to support their ultimate success and
transformation - to do it their way. Even with the Self-Esteem Game that
began last week, several people have already told me, "I'm not doing it
like this, but I'm doing it like that". For example, many people I've
talked to have more than one buddy. That's okay, but will that guarantee
them results? If they will take my coaching and use the guidelines for
getting the utmost out of the game, I guarantee them results.

This is the week to find out where in your own life you give instruction
to yourself but don't take it. You can look to see where you say you're
going to do something and then you can't or you don't. When you look to
see how this underlying commitment may be showing up, you'll likely find
that it doesn't tend to affect every part of your life. It usually comes
out in one or two areas. Look to see the cost of doing it your way. What
are the results you're not getting? What are the important goals that
you're not achieving? And what coaching or support from others are you
unable to benefit from?

To permanently dislodge this underlying commitment, I recommend
forgiving your parents for having bossed you around. That's what they
were supposed to do. And give yourself permission now, when appropriate,
to take instruction from somebody else. For extra clarity you can always
ask yourself this Right Question: Will this choice [or action] propel me
toward an inspiring future, or will it keep me stuck in the past?

I know that you will find worlds opening up for you when you allow
yourself to try something ways of seeing things, new ways of
doing things. I thank God for having allowed myself to be coached and
guided by others at certain key moments in my life. Some of the most
life-changing growth of my life has occurred when I set aside the way I
wanted to do something and heeded the wise counsel of someone else.

Take Action Now!

Debbie Ford



"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."
-Albert Einstein

Let me ask you a question - if you knew that there is at least one thing in today's tip that will absolutely change your life for the better, how attentively would you choose to read it?

If you experienced any shift in your state in response to that question, you've just experienced the potential power of questions to change your life.

Here's how it works:

Imagine that your conscious attention is like a flashlight and the untapped power of your mind is like a darkened room. Each new question encourages us to shine our flashlight in a new direction so that we can find information and resources that may always have been available to us but were 'hidden' in the dusty recesses of our mental attic.

For example, 'What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?' shines the light of your attention into a corner of your mind where as a child you piled all the hopes and dreams you had been taught were 'unrealistic' and 'childish'.

Asking yourself 'What would you want if you knew you didn't have to be unhappy about not getting it?' shines the light into the part of your mind where you keep the 'scary goals' - things you really want but fear the disappointment of trying and failing to achieve.

Here are some great questions from Michael Masterson's 'Early to Rise' newsletter (

1. Imagine you are at your own funeral. What do people say about you - not from the pulpit but in whispered voices at the back of the room? What would you like them to say?

2. What would you do with your money if you had all you could ever need?

3. How would you live your life if you knew you were going to die feeling perfectly healthy in five years?

4. What would you feel you've missed if you found out that you had 24 hours to live?

Again, taking the time to ask and answer these questions can make a tremendous difference to the way you live your life. One similar question which completely changed my approach to my business was this:

Imagine you are on your deathbed and you have had a wonderful life. What are the four or five things you are most glad that you did?

When I realized that one of the things on my list was 'I was there while my kids were growing up', I decided that a life on the road as an actor and speaker was not the life for me. While I still travel for work from time to time, (I am writing this from a hotel room in San Francisco), I was home last week to attend my eight year old daughter's mime show, to see my eleven year old son's presentation on an imaginary culture who worship a frog god named 'Bruce', and to play Dora the Explorer with my 4 year old.

I can't honestly say whether or not that's made a huge difference in their lives - but it really has made a huge positive difference in mine!

Today's Experiment:

1. Ask yourself any or all of the questions in today's tip. Here they are again below:

*What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

*What would you want if you knew you didn't have to be unhappy about not getting it?

*Imagine you are at your own funeral. What do people say about you - not from the pulpit but in whispered voices at the back of the room? What would you like them to say?

*What would you do with your money if you had all you could ever need?

*How would you live your life if you knew you were going to die feeling perfectly healthy in five years?

*What would you feel you've missed if you found out that you had 24 hours to live?

*Imagine you are on your deathbed and you have had a wonderful life. What are the four or five things you are most glad that you did?

2. If you have a question that has changed your life in a positive way, please post it to the MNCT forum at:

(You can also post some of your answers if you like...)

Have fun, learn heaps, and live the questions!

With love,

Comments? Feedback?
Please post your thoughts on the discussion forums at:

Got Forgiveness?

By Sheri Rosenthal

The key to forgiveness is to forgive from the heart not from the
mind. Knowing in your rational mind that your parents did the best
they could to raise you is not enough to constitute forgiveness. If
you have any type of negative emotional reaction in the presence of
someone, you have not truly forgiven that person. What would happen
if you took 5 minutes to walk in the other person's shoes? Could you
find compassion for them to understand why things happened the way
they did?

Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to agree with what they did or how
they did it. Not at all. Your values and beliefs may be very
different from theirs. It simply means that you can see the whole
truth of what happened and that the Truth encompasses all points of
view, not just your own. True compassion of the human experience is
that place from which all forgiveness begins. Compassion is an act of
unconditional love that is free of any attachment.

Forgiveness is about seeing life with clarity so that you stop
judging the activities of others and, instead, take responsibility
for your interpretation of those activities. When you judge something
that happens in life as good or bad, right or wrong you aren't able
to have gratitude for the challenges and experiences life sends your
way. No matter how enlightened a person you may be, challenging
situations will always happen. However, if you have gratitude for
life's challenges you will always find your joy in life and never
feel victimized by your circumstances.

Once you have seen the truth you simply make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to. If
you are addicted to your pain, resentment, self-righteousness, this
might be a challenging step for you. There is comfort in what we find
familiar, even if we are suffering. However, once you let go, the
weight of the world will be released from your shoulders.

In the forgiveness process, it is important to forgive not only the
other people in our lives, but also ourselves. For most people,
forgiving ourselves is more difficult then forgiving others. Here are
a few things to check in with yourself to see if you could use some
forgiveness on.

- Forgive yourself for using people in your life to hurt yourself.
- Forgive yourself for not having clarity, for blaming others, and
for not taking responsibility for your actions.
- Forgive yourself for wounding others and for the anger, jealousy,
and hate you've directed toward others.
- Forgive yourself for participating in situations that went against
your integrity.
- Forgive yourself for not respecting yourself.
- Forgive yourself for not trusting yourself and having faith in your
- Forgive yourself for trying to control the people you love.
- And, of course, forgive yourself for not loving yourself 100% just
the way you are!

If you forgive you will be truly happy, and your life will reflect
the change back to you in every way. After all, what we think in our
minds is what manifests in our lives! The bottom line is that we
forgive not because the other person necessarily deserves it, but
because we do not want to carry that load around until we die. Anger,
hate, and jealousy will make you old, resentful and ugly, inside and
out. The question is, how much do you love and respect yourself? Is
it enough to give yourself the gift of forgiveness? I hope so. With
All my love & blessings! Sheri Rosenthal

Sheri Rosenthal DPM is a master Toltec teacher and author of The
Complete Idiot's Guide to Toltec Wisdom. Having trained with don
Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, she currently takes
students on spiritual journeys, works with personal apprentices and
enjoys being extremely happy. You can reach her at <>; or &

Enjoy the journey!

The man who followed his dreams


     I was born in the Saint Joseph maternity in Rio de Janeiro. As it was a quite complicated childbirth, my mother consecrated me to the saint, praying to him to help me live. José became a reference in my life, and every year since 1987 - the year following my pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela - I throw a party in his honor on March 19. I invite friends and hard-working, honest people, and before dinner we pray for all those who try to maintain their dignity in their actions. We also pray for those who are jobless and have no prospects for the future.
      In the short introduction I give before the prayer, I usually recall that four of the five times that the word “dream” appears in the New Testament refer to Joseph the carpenter. In all the cases, an angel is always trying to convince him to do exactly the opposite of what he was planning to do.
      The angel asks him not to abandon his wife, although she is pregnant. He could say things like “what are the neighbors to think?” But he returns home and believes in the revealed word.
      The angel sends him to Egypt. And his answer could have been: “but I’m already established here as a carpenter, I have my clientele, I can’t just leave everything now.” Nevertheless he packs his things and sets out for the unknown.
      The angel asks him to return from Egypt. And again Joseph could have thought: “now that I have managed to establish a new life for myself and have a family to support?”
     Contrary to what common sense dictates, Joseph follows his dreams. He knows that he has a destiny to fulfill, the destiny of almost all men on this planet: to protect and support his family. Like millions of anonymous Josephs, he tries to see to the task, even having to do things that are far beyond his comprehension.
      Later on, both his wife and one of his sons become the great references of Christianity. The third pillar of the family, the workman, is only remembered in the Nativity scenes at the end of the year, or by those who have a special devotion for him, as is my case, and as is the case of Leonardo Boff, whose book on the carpenter contains an introduction I wrote.
      Here I reproduce part of a text by the writer Carlos Heitor Cony (I hope it really is his, because I discovered it on the Internet!): “Now and again people find it strange that a confirmed agnostic like me, who does not accept the idea of a philosophical, moral or religious God, should be a devotee of some saints in our traditional calendar. God is too distant a concept or entity for my resources and even for my needs. As for the saints, because they were earthly beings with the same clay foundations that I was made of, they deserve more than my admiration. They really deserve my devotion.
      “Saint Joseph is one of them. The Gospels do not register a single word of his, only gestures, and just one explicit reference: "vir justus" – a just man. Since he was a carpenter and not a judge, it can be deduced that Joseph was above all a good man. A good carpenter, a good husband, a good father to a boy who would divide the history of the world.”
     Beautiful words by Cony. And often I read aberrations such as: “Jesus went to India to learn from the masters of the Himalayas.” For me, every man can change the task he is given by life into something sacred, and Jesus learned while the just man Joseph taught him to make tables, chairs and beds.
      In my imagination I like to think that the table where Christ consecrated the bread and wine was made by Joseph – because there was the hand of an anonymous carpenter who earned his living with the sweat of his brow, and precisely because of that allowed miracles to take place.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho

Relax Into The Divinity Within You

Stop everything you are doing, all the hussle, bussle, and fussle,
and simply relax. Relax into the Divine essence at the core of your
being. How to do this? Sit with your back straight, as if a stack of
golden coins has replaced your vertebrae. Perfectly balanced yet not
efforting in any way. Sit for as long as it takes to stop everything
and just relax inwards. Quiet the relentless mind chattering and
release all efforting. Start with relaxing your physical body first.
It is the basic foundation of where transformation occurs. Imagine a
healing energy is relaxing your face, jaw, and eyes...and then it
moves into relaxing your head, neck, shoulders and back. Send
relaxing healing thoughts into your heart, stomach, and all your
organs inside. Love them! Relax your legs, and let the energy move
all the way down to your toes. Wherever awareness goes, relaxation
flows. Imagine your arms are loose like noodles and your back is
totally at ease.

Then notice how your body breathes for you. Watch how the air
automatically moves through you. Allow the movement of air through
your lungs effortlessly. Then move your awareness into your emotional
body. Relax into each feeling that you're having. Notice, what are
you feeling? Allow for each feeling to be perfect exactly as it is.
Breathe into and through each emotion that is there. Then begin to
relax your mind. Allow it to let go of all the struggling to achieve
this, create this, or change that. Let your mind rest. As if it were
a tired child needing to lay down for a while. Find the stillness
that is beneath your mind. Then move your awareness deeper into the
stillness. Do all this not through efforting, but through relaxing.

This is your day to detach from being the general manager in control
of your Universe. Stop micromanaging your responses and expeiences.
Let life be as still and sweet as a dew drop balancing on a lotus
flower's petal. Let go of your grip on yourself, no matter how strong
or subtle it is. Let go! Relax into the core of who you are. The
moment you do, you will experience the Divine Essence that exists at
very center of your being. Enjoy!! By Jafree Ozwald

Still having trouble relaxing? Download the Guided Meditation for
Healing your Body, Mind and Soul! Master your Mind and You will
Master your Life! Click here to Download Instantly!!

Many blessings to you,
Jafree & Margot



"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

-Mother Theresa

I was talking with a potential client recently who told me that one of her most important goals was 'to become less judgmental'. When I asked her why she wanted that, she said (without a trace of irony) 'because making judgments is wrong.'

The fact is, no matter how much many of us think we 'shouldn't' judge, we are so conditioned to do so that without increasing our self-awareness, we will not only judge one another but we will continually judge ourselves and even our judgments!

In order to begin gently upping our awareness, it is useful to make a clear distinction about what constitutes a judgment (as opposed to an assessment or distinction, both of which are essential in the process of making decisions and moving towards goals).

Here's the distinction that I use, based on the work of Barry Neil Kaufman (see the 'Want to Learn More?' section at the end of the tip to learn more):

*A judgement is any evaluation of something as being good, bad, right or wrong

When we judge (describe something in terms of external moral values), we are essentially setting ourselves up as moral arbiters, claiming we know best what God wants or the world is supposed to be like. Not only is this a trifle presumptuous, it creates an environment where conflict and violence are both natural and ongoing. (If that doesn't make sense to you yet, simply imagine someone you don't really know repeatedly and forcefully telling you that you need to change because they're right and you're wrong. Notice if you feel more personally inclined towards conflict or violence!)

One remedy for this is understanding a language pattern called 'lost performatives'. A lost performative occurs in our language any time we make a judgment but leave out the identity of the person making the judgment. That is, we literally 'lose the 'performer' of the judgment. And for most of us in most situations, that performer (i.e. the one doing the judging) is us!

Here are some examples of how people use 'lost performatives' to disguise their own opinions and preferences:

'That dog is ugly.' instead of 'I don't like the way that dog looks.'
'The government is wrong.' instead of 'I don't agree with governmental policy.'
'She is a great singer.' instead of 'I really enjoy her singing.'

The minute we 'reclaim the judge within' and take ownership of our own opinions and preferences, we simplify our communication (and our lives) tremendously and reduce the opportunity for creating conflict and violence. When we hear someone else communicating in this way, we can begin to listen for and appreciate their unique point of view instead of getting caught up in disagreeing with and even fighting against their overly generalized judgment.

Ultimately, each time we let go of a judgment (without necessary letting go of our own preference and/or opinion), we experience greater freedom in our lives.

Today's Experiment:

1. Think about something or someone you are judging to be good, bad, right or wrong. What is the opinion or preference you are basing your judgment around?

2. Listen out for other people's judgments of you or the world. Notice how quickly you can 'translate' their judgments into statements of their own personal opinions or preferences.

3. Let go of at least one judgment today. You can do this by converting it to the opinion or preference behind it, or even by letting go of defending it. If you like how it feels, let go of more. Even letting go of just one judgment a day can lead to a tangible increase in your sense of happiness and well being.

Have fun, learn heaps, and if you don't for goodness sake don't judge yourself as bad or wrong!

With love,

Comments? Feedback?
Check out the discussion forums at:

The Project: Six ways to overcome procrastination


"First, have a definite, clear practical idea; a goal, an
objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends; wisdom,
money, materials, and methods. Third, adjust all your means to that end."


~*~ Topic of the Week ~*~

Life is full of projects. There are home related projects -- the garden
that needs to be started, or the basement that needs to be cleaned out;
work related ones -- completing employee reviews, or creating a brochure
for your new business; and there are more personal projects like estate
planning, helping your teenager apply for college, or writing the book
you've been dreaming about for years. One of the most common questions I'm
asked is about overcoming procrastination and completing the things we
know we need to (or want to) do. So, this week I thought I'd share six
steps that will help you get the job done. To succeed in the completion of
any project, you need to:

1. Set a deadline. Deadlines are your ticket to freedom. Contrary to what
most people think, a deadline can decrease stress by motivating you to
act. Our anxiety about completing a project is usually related to inaction
and this anxiety uses an enormous amount of our energy. Once you have a
deadline in place, it releases this energy and allows you to put it to
good use. Set a deadline and let it inspire you to get started now.

2. Put "supportive accountability" in place. Left to our own devices many
of us will push back a deadline, especially when it relates to those
projects that cause us discomfort. Just look at how many people
procrastinate about getting their taxes done. By asking someone to hold
you accountable in a supportive way you put positive pressure on yourself
to make your project a priority. Be sure to choose someone who has your
best interest at heart and ask him or her to gently check in with you to
be sure that you're on track. Also, make plans to celebrate together once
you reach the finish line.

3. Set a start date. Once you have a project, a deadline, and someone to
hold you accountable, you're ready to set a formal start date. Setting a
time to begin a project gives you a chance to prepare. For example, if you
have a deadline to complete your taxes by April 1st with a start date of
March 1st, you'll have a chance to clear your schedule, get forms and
resources in place, and line up the help you might need before you get
into trouble. Too often we plunge into a project without a plan and end up
getting stuck or frustrated. Give yourself time to prepare so you can
start with confidence.

4. Set boundaries. Think of this step as casting a wide net around you and
your project so you're protected while you work. For example, if you need
to complete a report for your job, you'll want to schedule uninterrupted
time in your office. This might require a "do not disturb" sign on the
door, a conversation with co-workers about needing space, and a
willingness to shut the ringer off on the phone or avoid email until
you're done. Ask yourself: "What boundaries do I need to put in place in
order to have the emotional and physical space I need to get this project

5. Take frequent breaks. In the past when I've coached clients to complete
a tough project, they often start with a "push through to the end"
mentality. For example, they're willing to work ridiculous hours at the
expense of their lives. While this might get the current project finished,
it forms a negative relationship to project completion which only fuels
procrastination in the future. You'll want to create a positive
relationship by taking frequent breaks. For example, when I'm writing, I
stop every hour to do something unrelated to the book. This gives my body
and mind a chance to rest and allows me to return with a fresh set of
eyes. When you give yourself a break, you set yourself up to enjoy the

6. Know your payoff. When the project is done how will your life be
improved? What's the benefit of completion? For example, I know from my
experience as a tax consultant that people feel a tremendous sense of
relief when their taxes are done. There are many benefits to completing a
project: the satisfaction of a job well done, the peace of mind that comes
from no longer beating ourselves up for not acting, or the actual benefits
like a tax refund, an organized room to enjoy, or reduced debt. Identify
three benefits you'll receive from completing your project, put them in
writing, and keep them in view.

Much of life is about the process of completing projects in some form or
another, so why not learn to make peace with the process. What project has
been hanging over your head? This week, follow the recap in our "Take
Action Challenge" below, and free yourself from the bonds of incompletion
so you can enjoy more of your precious life.

~*~ Take Action Challenge ~*~

Choose a project that needs to get done and apply these steps:

1. Set a deadline
2. Choose someone to hold you accountable
3. Set a start date
4. Put boundaries in place
5. Plan for frequent breaks
6. Identify the benefits and keep them in view

Get into action and get the job done!


p.s. - Need a little Divine Direction? Use the "Touch of Grace" button on
our homepage here:

Do you have any idea how fantastic you are?

 There's nobody in this
world quite like you, and I can't tell you how happy I am to be your
friend. I adore you. I cherish you. And I know that today will be one
of the best days of your life.

How good would it feel to be seen, valued, encouraged, nourished and
loved every single day - several times a day? Well, get ready to find
out. This coming Tuesday, June 6th, I'll reveal all the details of the
Summer Self-Esteem Game - 90 days that will fill your inner reservoir of
positive feelings so high that by fall anything will be possible for

You'll need a buddy, so start looking.

Until then, know that I am thrilled to begin the game that can radically
alter your life...

With love and blessings,



The Biggest Truth about Judgment

By Jafree Ozwald & Margot Zaher

Let's take a moment to get really curious about judgment. What is it?
What exactly are we doing when we judge someone or something? We are
narrowing our mind, tightening our emotions, and becoming contracted
in our body when we form a judgment. We stop feeling and experiencing
the vastness of this Universe when we focus only on a TINY negative
unacceptable thought about someone.

There's the old Indian saying that we all know, "Never judge a man
until you have walked a mile in his moccasins." You can never really
know someone until you have lived their life. You barely know
yourself, how can you truly "know" the other? The truth is that we
have forgotten that behind this "undesired" behavior is a human being
with a divine soul and essence. Whatever it was that they said or did
may not seem so terrible if you knew their whole life story. One
action cannot truly reflect the entire dimension of someone's being.
Their behavior does not define who someone is or truly encompass the
vastness of their multidimensional soul.

Now here is the biggest truth. Whatever it is that you cannot accept
about them is EXACTLY what you are challenged in accepting about
yourself. It may be in a totally different context, yet the
reflection is there. When you accept everything about yourself, you
will never judge another person again in your life. Whenever you
judge someone, it does not say much about them, yet it says A LOT
about you.

Next time your inclination to judge flairs up...STOP. Breathe and
look inside. What are you not O.K. with inside you that is showing up
in them? Remind yourself that you are judging the action or behavior
and not the person. Make the distinction. Your enlightenment depends
on it! Then, look for the divine in this person. Remember that
everyone is divine and then gently send them compassion and even a
blessing. You will be amazed at what happens to your life energy when
you practice this conscious judgment dissolving exercise. Every time
you acknowledge the Divine in others, you automatically can see and
feel the Divine within YOU much much easier.

Shift your energy to a higher state of awareness and you will attract
higher vibrational experiences to you. Learn more about creating high
vibrational relationships in our e-book, "How to Raise your
Manifesting Vibration" Click here to read more and or purchase:

P.S. It's Margot's Birthday Today!!! Surprise her with a fun-loving
happy birthday email at:

The most compassionate blessings to you,

I am not happy


     A comment that is very often heard in interviews is: “ ... and now that you are a happy person ...”, which provokes the immediate reaction: “Did I say I was happy?”
     I am not happy, and the quest for happiness as a principal objective is not part of my world. Of course, ever since I can remember, I have done what I felt like doing. That is why I was admitted three times to a psychiatric clinic, spent a few terrifying days in the dungeons of Brazil’s military dictatorship, and just as quickly lost and won friends and girlfriends. I walked down paths that, if I could turn back, I might avoid today, yet something always pushed me forward, and it certainly was not the quest for happiness. What interests me in life is curiosity, challenges, the good fight with its victories and defeats. I bear many a scar, but I also carry with me moments that never would have happened if I had not dared beyond my limits. I confront my fears and moments of loneliness, and I think that a happy person never goes through this.
      But that is of the least importance: I am content. And contentedness is not exactly a synonym of happiness, which to me seems like a dull Sunday afternoon without any challenges, just rest that in a couple of hours grows into tedium, the same evening television programs, the prospect of Monday waiting with its routine.
      I mention all this because I was surprised by the long leading article in one of the most prestigious magazines in the United States that is normally dedicated to political matters. The theme was: “The science of happiness: is it in our genetic system?” Aside from the usual things (tables of happier or less happy countries, sociological studies on man’s search for a meaning to life, eight steps to finding harmony), the article includes some interesting observations that for the very first time made me see that I am not alone in my ideas:
      A] - countries where income is under US$ 10,000 a year are countries where the majority of the population is unhappy. However, it was discovered that from that figure upwards, monetary difference is not all that important. A scientific study conducted on the 400 richest persons in the United States shows that they are only slightly happier than those who earn US$ 20,000. The logical consequence: of course, poverty is something unacceptable, but the old saying that “money does not bring happiness” is being proved in laboratories.
      B] – happiness is just another of the tricks that our genetic system plays on us to carry out its only role, which is the survival of the species. So, to force us to eat or make love, it is necessary to add an element called “pleasure”.
      C] - however happy people say they are, nobody is satisfied: we always have to be with the prettiest woman, buy a bigger house, change cars, desire what we do not have. This is also a subtle manifestation of the instinct of survival: at the moment when everyone feels completely happy, no-one will dare to do anything different and the world will stop evolving.
      D] therefore, both on the physical plane (eating, making love) and on the emotional plane (always wanting something we do not have), the evolution of humanity has dictated one important and fundamental rule: happiness cannot last. It will always be made of moments, so we can never get comfortable in an armchair and just contemplate the world.
      Conclusion: better forget this idea of seeking happiness at any cost and look for more interesting things like unknown seas, strangers, provocative thoughts, risky experiences. Only in this way will we live our human condition to the full and contribute to a more harmonious civilization at peace with other cultures. Of course, everything has a price, but it is worth paying.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho  

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished...

...That will be the beginning."

--Louis L'Amour

~*~ Topic of the Week ~*~

Yesterday I delivered the commencement address for Northern Essex
Community College -- a local university with over 900 graduates, 70% of
whom are the first in their families to ever graduate from college. It
was a beautiful sunny day, and there were more than 2,000 family members
and friends in attendance to help celebrate this important milestone. I
shared a similar message from a commencement address I had given last year
and I thought I'd share it with you again this year. If you have a loved
one who is graduating from college or high school, you might want to pass
this message along . . . .

Dear Class of 2006,

For the last fifteen years I've worked as a coach helping people to create
great lives. I've guided artists, entrepreneurs, corporate employees, or
moms and dads through the process of identifying their goals and crafting
an action plan, and then I've held them accountable for taking the actions
that will improve the quality of their lives. I've learned a lot about
what makes for a great life - a life that honors who we really are; our
values and most treasured priorities. And I've learned about what gets in
the way.

Today I'd like to share with you some of what I've learned.

1. Spend more time on the who than the what. What you do will always be
less important than who you become. Knowledge is great but it will never
take you as far as your courage, your integrity, your reputation for
someone who keeps his or her word, or your commitment to be of service to
others in some important way. As you go through life, you will face
challenges and obstacles. When you do, get in the habit of asking
yourself the following questions:

How can I grow from this experience?
What qualities of character am I being called to develop?
How can I use this event to make me a better human being?

2. Follow your heart. Pay far more attention to what *you* think than what
everyone else thinks. The most important relationship you'll ever have is
with you. When I think about all of the regrets I've heard from adults
over the years, the biggest one always has to do with listening to
everyone else but themselves. Start now. Make your own rules and follow
them. At the end of your life, the most important person you'll have to
please is you.

3. Develop a strong "maverick muscle." Be willing to bend the rules, learn
how to disappoint others gracefully, get comfortable with people not
liking you, and always strive to be an original thinker. I have a little
sign in my office that says: "No Guts, No Glory" and I use it to remind me
to go against the grain as much as possible. Allow yourself to be the
unique spirit that you were meant to be. Trust me. Your willingness to
rock the boat will set you apart from 95% of the people you meet
throughout your life.

4. Build your courage muscles. Starting tomorrow, practice doing one small
thing a day that frightens you. Learn to water ski, ask someone out on a
date, go for that promotion you keep hoping for, or learn to dance. Small
acts of courage strengthen your ability to take even bigger leaps later on
like deciding to write your own book or run for political office. If you
really want to build your courage muscles, take a public speaking course.
Twenty years ago I allowed someone to drag me to a Toastmaster's Meeting
-- an international speech club -- and it changed the course of my life
forever. Courage builds confidence and confident people rarely settle for

5. Don't go to the hardware store for milk. When you're excited about
doing something or trying to make an important decision, make sure you
turn to those people who will encourage you to take a chance - the ones
who believe in you rather than those who will tell you why something won't
work. Surround yourself with positive people - the kind of people who
challenge you to reach beyond your fear rather than play it safe. There
will always be people telling you why an idea is risky, or why you can't
do something. That advice is usually based on the mistakes they've made or
the chances they didn't take because they were afraid. Always remember
this: someone else's past does not equal your future. When faced with a
naysayer, smile, say thank you, and turn around. Stick with positive
people who believe in you. Remember, if you needed milk, you wouldn't go
to the hardware store.

By the way, you're mom was right. You *do* become who you hang around
with. Choose wisely :).

6. Live by this mantra: where there's a will, there's a way. Don't give up
when things get hard and don't ever let anyone or anything put limits on

7. Stay connected. Your use of technology -- email or instant messaging
for example -- will never replace the value of live connections with those
you love. Every now and then pick up the phone and call a friend or visit
a loved one rather than send an email or text message. Too often I've seen
technology draw a wedge between people. When we come to the end of our
lives, it's who we loved and who loved us that matters most. Make
"in-person" time for those you love.

Finally, at the time you were born you were given an amazing gift - a gift
that most of us forget about as we grow older. It's the power to design
your own unique life. You are an artist. The canvas is your life. From
this moment on, take ownership of this gift and use it wisely. If you do,
your life will become an extraordinary work of art. Congratulations class
of 2006!

Cheryl Richardson.


As soon as you start living in the moment, you'll begin to notice synchronicities happening around you regularly. Synchronicities are the people, places, or events that your soul atracts into your life to help you evolve, to increase awareness, or to resolve something necessary in your journey.

You may sometimes hear people mistakenly refer to synchronicity as coincidence, or two seemingly unrelated time/space events happening simultaniously - however, there are no coincidences in life. The famous Swiss psychologist Carl Jung was the first to coin the term synchronicity, describing it as a universal law that allowed humans a greater growth in consciousness.

All of us have experienced syncronicities, from dreaming about an old friend and then running in to her the next day to thinking about someone and then having him call you on the telephone. It can be as dramatic as experiencing severe financial difficulties and out of nowhere money seems to appear, or running into a stranger three times in the same day in totally unrelated places. It can be meeeting a doctor who's n expert in a specific field, and then finding out two weeks later that your loved one is diagnosed with the exact illness that was this doctor's speciality.

As we begin to trust our intuition, we start to notice these syncronicities in abundance.

Crystal Andrus, "Transcendent Beauty"

How to Open your Trust Valve 100%

By Jafree Ozwald and Margot Zaher

"Do not abandon trust when your ego thinks things should be different
than they are." ~Wayne Dyer

Imagine that in the middle of your chest is a dial that goes from 1
to 100. In the middle of the dial is the word "Trust". This is your
Trust Valve. This knob is what measures the amount of trust you have
for yourself, the Universe and everyone in it. Take a few moments to
check at which number your Trust Valve is set at RIGHT NOW. Are you
at 100? If not, what would 100 feel like?

If you are under 100%, notice what thoughts, feelings and beliefs you
need to let go of (or say NO to) in order to feel 100% trust for
yourself, life, and everyone in it. This exercise may be challenging,
yet imagine what your face will look like after 40 years of not
trusting! Your happiness is based on the amount of trust you have for
yourself, life, and everyone in it.

&ldquo;When I grip the wheel too tight, I find I lose control.&rdquo;
~Steve Rapson

Trust allows us to let go of control and truly find freedom within
each moment of our lives. People only seek to control because they
are living out of their fear-based ego instead of from a place of
love. The ego is very vulnerable and insecure, especially when you
are trusting life 100%. So it will make up many stories, excuses, and
reasons to not trust yourself, others, and the Universe. These
stories are stopping you from manifesting the most amazing life
possible! Even though your mind may believe that trusting yourself is
a foolish thing to do, see if it actually FEELS good to trust
yourself. Base your decisions on your feelings, not on rationale. The
ego will always try to be in control of everything in your life, and
use self-doubt and negative thinking as a way of protecting itself
from pain.

At the very root of trust you will find freedom and expansive
feelings. While the need for control is the foundation of the
ego/mind, trust is the center of the heart and automatically connects
you with the energy of your soul. To keep your trust valve open 100%
open, you need to acknowledge that you are a spiritual being in a
physical body. Trust comes naturally when there is a deep spiritual
connection and knowing. When we trust this spiritual aspect of our
true selves, we give up our need to control life and each moment
becomes a deeper experience of relaxation than the last. Trust opens
us up to the flow of divine abundance in our lives. This brings peace
to your mind, and into the hearts of everyone around you.

"The only real security in life lies in relishing life's insecurity."
~M. Scott Peck

Learn the ancient secrets to manifesting your heart's desires in The
90 Day Manifesting Program at:

Blessings to you,
Jafree & Margot

The Power Of Love

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For most of my life, I thought that if I gave love, then that made me a loving person. I knew that I was supposedly loved by many people, but rarely allowed myself to really receive anyone else's breathe it in and feel it wrapping around my heart, making me stronger with this softness. Because I was so afraid of being hurt I seldom let anyone get even remotely close. I wasn't conscious of it, for I was in love with the
idea of love, but up until the last few years, I don't think I even realized that other people could make me stronger. It was all about the power I felt when I gave to them and saw their own light shine brighter. I guess I'd counted on myself for so long that it never occurred to me that relationships were about more than my teaching and giving.

I think that even my marriage was based almost entirely on my helping my ex-husband - because as long as I was fixing him, I didn't have to fix myself. I thought that he needed me, and being needed was the closest thing I could associate with love. We'd gotten together as such scared and hurt kids that we'd defined and sculpted our relationship on those fears: "Don't go out without me. Don't look at her/him. Don't like things unless I like them. Don't leave me. Don't hurt me. Don't betray me. Don't have a life outside of me."

We lived in a bubble, and we made sure that neither one of us could get out of it. As I became a writer and speaker, there was no way that he was going to let me get on a plane to travel halfway around the world to share my message, just as there was no way I thought my marriage could survive my getting on one. Yet I'd given everything I possibly could to my marriage - including my voice and dreams - and I was beginning to feel as if I were drowning. I didn't want to leave my nest, but I didn't know how to stay there either.

The reality is that I didn't know how to speak my truth back then... to say what I really needed. And then one day, around my 30th birthday, this overwhelming voice in my head screamed at me:
This is it! If you don't do something right now, you're going to watch all your dreams pass you by!

It is interesting that when my daughters were small, I painted this poem that I'd once read on the wall of their playroom:

For my dear children,
I wish for two things:
To give you roots,
And to give you wings.

I'd grown roots for myself, but I hadn't used my wings - and my girsl were watching me, discovering what life was like for a woman. Although my husband and I did care so much about each other, we were far more afraid of not being loved and of being alone than we were in love. I could never fly as long as I stayed, and we both knew it.

It was the hardest thing I've ever done to leave him, and certainly not something I'm recommending for others. For me, it was an awakening: I was finally alone, for the first time in my life, to figure out who I was.

What I learned was that it wasn't everyone else I was most upset with, as I'd convinced myself it was - it was
me. I was the most self-punishing person you'd ever meet. Dripping in shame and guilt, I had such a hard time letting go og my patterns, my past, and my inner demons. Now when I meet people who are very demanding of everyone else in their lives, I silently send them love because I know that they're actually toughest on themself.

My kids will sometimes ask me, even to this day, if I still love their dad. And I can honestly tell them that I love him and always will. He was such an important person in my life - and besides, he's a part of them! How on earth could I not love him for helping to create my girls? They always smile and walk away, knowing that everything must be okay, even if I'm not married to their dad anymore.

I think that one of the worst things you can do to children's self-esteem is to condemn their parents in any way. Children internalize that criticism, equating their parents as parts of themselves - therefore if one of their parents is "tainted", then they must be, too. Always remind yourself, and your children, that there's beauty in everyone! Besides, the truth is that the parts of others that we can't accept, or that infuriate us the most, are the parts of
ourselves that we have yet to heal.

I chose my husband to help me confront the parts of myself I needed to make peace with - I just didn't know it at the time. As I continued on my own, I learned some pretty tough lessons bout love and life. The most powerful one was that
you get what you give, but you can't give what you don't have. At times I nearly flew back to the comfort of my old familiar nest, but I kew that I'd be going back for the wrong reasons. Until I had self-love and self-acceptance, I couldn't give honesty and trust to anyone. I could never accept anyone else fr who they were until I learned how to accept myself. I might have been able to give others hope or some attention, but it wasn't until I was able to truly know love - from deep within - that I could transcend. It was then that extra-ordinary people began flocking into my life... that I was able to be loved... that I felt the most beautiful I ever have!

Crystal Andrus, "Transcendent Beauty"

How to Find Freedom from The Mind

By Jafree Ozwald

The mind is always thinking. It&rsquo;s always planning and
pretending, hoping and wishing, pondering and scheming, dreaming and
learning, and yearning for more. Basically, 99% of the time it's set
to capturing data mode. It tries to make sense of the data it
collects, and then applies this data to your life. The mind is indeed
an awe-inspiring over and under-analyzing machine. It spends its time
thinking about what's going to happen next, and what has just
happened. The mind is truly amazing if you think about it! =)

The really interesting thing about the mind is that it only exists in
the past or the future&hellip; yesterday and tomorrow. The mind
simply cannot exist in the Now. I dare you to try to keep it here in
the now. Forwards and backwards in time it goes, searching high and
low, all day long, all year long, all lifetime long. Now you know why
you may be soooo tired at the end of the day.

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you were free
from your mind? What would ONE day feel like if you were totally at
peace with it? Imagine that you were able to hear the beauty of what
the mind is really saying without getting caught in its drama and
trauma. It is truly freeing to know what direction your mind is
heading in and to be able to trust that it is leading you into
greater feelings of freedom! Can you imagine being free for 5 minutes
from your thoughts, ideas, future actions and expected results? If
you can imagine this, freedom will follow.

To find freedom in life, the mind has to get out of your way. Freedom
is readily available when you turn inwards towards the divine spirit
that you are. Relax and bask in the light of this eternal, peaceful
experience of pure being. Once you realize that this is not so bad
and that this mind chatter just makes life nutty, you begin to
awaken. You realize that you are not your mind, nor your thoughts,
nor your emotions, nor your body. The silence between each thought
becomes profound and meaningful. In this space of silence, you will
find total freedom. The mind cannot exist in silence. The mind cannot
exist in the now. If you want to rid yourself of the constant
struggle and negative emotions in your life, dive into this silence.
Once this silence is discovered, the mind lets go and relaxes. You
have found the foundation of your very being. Once we confine
ourselves to this ever-present moment, we are instantly healed and

Explore more information about the mind, your spiritual path and life
purpose by downloading a personal Akashic Record Reading with Jafree!

Peace and prosperity consciousness to you,
Jafree & Margot

More stories of friends and strangers


The Dutch girl in the club
     In 1982, although I had a good job in a recording company and earned a lot of money from song lyrics, I was also very unhappy. Worse still: because life was good to me, I also felt guilty. So I decided to throw it all up and travel the world until I found a meaning to existence.
     On these wanderings I lived for a while in Amsterdam in Holland, which was the symbol of complete and utter freedom in all senses. There I frequented the Kosmos – a sort of club where people gathered with whom I felt an affinity.
     One night a Dutch girl asked me what Brazil was like.
      I began to tell her about our problems: the hard repression of the military regime, the social inequality, the misery, the violence.
     “But you live in the best place on Earth,” I added. “What’s it like to wake up every morning in Paradise?”
     The Dutch girl was quiet for a long time before answering:
     “Horrible. Everything is so right here, there is no challenge left, no emotion. I wish we had your problems – then I would feel again like a part of humanity.”

With the eyes of the soul

      At the age of 80 the Argentinean writer Jorge Luis Borges went to visit Mexico. His editor told me that after several days of lectures, conferences and tributes, Borges asked for an afternoon off to visit the Aztec pyramids in Yucatn.
      The editor explained that it was a very tiring journey that meant going by taxi, plane and jeep. Borges was not dissuaded and they ended up arranging everything so that he could go to Uxmal.
     He arrived almost at nightfall, after an exhausting day. He sat down in front of a 10th century pyramid and stayed there for a half hour without saying anything. At last he rose and thanked those accompanying him: "thank you for this afternoon and this unforgettable landscape."
     As we know, Borges was blind. But that did not prevent his soul from understanding what was all around him.

A chapel in the Pyrenees

      Right after the launching of "The Alchemist" I had to spend some time outside Brazil. But as the book had just come out, and my editor at the time was not very enthusiastic, I was always worried about what was happening in my country.
      One fine day, in a hermitage in the Pyrenees, I came upon a text engraved on a wall. Sure that that message had been left there for me, I copied it in my travel notebook and began to repeat those sentences every morning. Little by little, peace of mind returned and I was finally able to enjoy the journey.
      Here is what was written in the little chapel:
     "If you were really a child, a true child, instead of worrying about what you can’t do, you would contemplate Creation in silence. And you would become used to looking calmly at the world, nature, history and the sky.
     "If you really were a child, at this moment you would be singing Hallelujah for the things before you. Then – free from tensions, fears and useless questions – you would use this time to wait with curiosity and patience for the things in which you invested so much love to bear fruit." (Carlos Caretto, Italian hermit).

At a market in Rio

     A priest from Copacabana Church was waiting patiently for his turn to buy meat in the supermarket when a woman tried to skip the line.
      Then there began a festival of verbal attacks from the other customers, which the woman answered with the same vehemence.
      When the atmosphere grew unbearable, someone cried out:
     "Hey, missus, God loves you."
     "It was impressive," said the priest. "At a moment when everyone was thinking of hate, someone spoke of love. There and then the agitation vanished as if by magic. The woman walked back to her proper place in line and the customers apologized for reacting so aggressively."

It’s never too late
Joyce is an Australian photographer specialized in wild life.
     "When I turned 60 I felt that life was over for me," she says. My children were grown up and my grandchildren no longer paid much attention to me. One day I decided to accompany my son to the central desert in Australia. We camped, and since there was nothing to do and no-one nearby, I decided to get drunk for the first time in my life. After the second glass I grabbed a video camera and began to film. I filmed the sky, the tent, everything I felt like filming. But I was so drunk that I fell on the ground with the camera. I lay there for a few instants and noticed a line of ants walking beside me. It was as if I could hear their steps, as if that was part of a world that I had never noticed. I filmed the ants walking, and I discovered my vocation."
     When we had this chat some years ago, Joyce was 71 years old.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2006 by Paulo Coelho 

Accepting paradoxes



 "It’s odd," the warrior muses to himself. "I have met so many people who, at the first chance they get, try to show the worst of themselves. They hide their interior strength through aggressiveness and disguise the fear of solitude with an air of independence. They don’t believe in their own capacity but are always extolling their virtues to the four winds.”
     The warrior reads these messages in many men and women he knows. He is never fooled by appearances and insists on remaining silent when others try to impress him. But he uses the opportunity to correct his flaws – since people are always a good mirror.
      A warrior puts to good use every opportunity to teach himself and to admit his own contradictions.

Patience and Speed
     A Warrior of Light needs patience and speed at the same time. The two biggest mistakes of a strategy are to act prematurely and to let the opportunity pass by. To avoid making these mistakes, the warrior copes with each situation as if it were unique, and applies no formulas, prescriptions or the opinions of others.
      Caliph Moauiyat asked Omar Ben Al-Aas what was the secret of his great political skill: “I have never gotten involved in any matter without first studying the way out; on the other hand, I have never become involved and wanted to get out right away,” was his answer.

Pardoning x Accepting
     A Warrior of Light always keeps his heart clean of the sentiment of hate. To do so, he needs to pardon.
      When he walks to a fight, he never forgets Christ’s words: "love your enemies."
     And the warrior obeys, but always remembers that Christ did not say: “like your enemies.”
     The act of pardoning does not oblige him to accept everything. A warrior must not lower his head, otherwise he loses sight of the horizon of his dreams.

Resting x Acting
     In the interval of the combat, the warrior rests.
      He often spends days on end doing nothing, because his heart needs that.
      But his intuition remains alert. He does not commit the capital sin of Sloth, because he knows where that can lead to: the tepid feeling of Sunday afternoons, when time passes – and nothing else.
     The warrior calls this "cemetery peace." He recalls an extract from the Apocalypse: I curse you because you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were cold or hot! But since you’re tepid, I shall vomit you from my mouth.
     A warrior rests and laughs. But he is always attentive and ready to act.

Angel x Devil
     A warrior knows that an angel and a devil dispute the hand that holds the sword.
      The devil says: "you are going to fail. You are going to miss the right moment. You are afraid."
     The angel says: "you are going to fail. You are going to miss the right moment. You are afraid."
     The warrior is surprised. Both of them say the same thing.
      Then the devil continues: "let me help you."
     And the angel says: "I’ll help you."
     That is when the warrior notices the difference. The words are the same, but the allies are different.
      So he dedicates his victory to God. And with the confidence of the brave he chooses the hand of his angel.

Believing in signs
The Warrior of Light knows the importance of his intuition.
      In the midst of battle he has no time to think about the enemy’s blows – so he uses his instinct and obeys his angel. In times of peace he deciphers the signs that God sends him.
      People say: "he’s crazy."
     Or else: "he lives in a world of fantasy."
     Or even: "how can he trust things that have no logic?"
     But the warrior knows that intuition is the alphabet of God, and continues listening to the wind and talking to the stars.

Believing in love
For the warrior, there is no such thing as impossible love. He does not let himself be intimidated by silence, indifference or rejection. He knows that behind the mask of ice that people wear there exists a heart of fire.
      That is why the warrior risks more than others. He seeks tirelessly for someone’s love - even if this means often hearing the word "no", returning home defeated and feeling rejected in both body and soul.
      A warrior does not let himself become scared when he seeks what he needs. Without love he is nothing.

Believing in negotiation
     A Warrior of Light cannot always choose his battle field. Sometimes he is caught by surprise in the midst of combats he did not desire, but there is no use in fleeing, because these combats will follow him.
      So at the moment when the conflict is almost inevitable, the warrior talks with his adversary. Without showing fear or cowardice, he tries to find out why the other wants the fight, what reasons made him leave his village and seek him out for a duel. Without unsheathing his sword, the warrior convinces him that that combat is not his.
      A Warrior of Light listens to what his adversary has to say. And only fights if it is necessary. But if there is no alternative he thinks neither of victory or defeat: he takes the combat all the way to the end.

Believing in perseverance
     The Warrior of Light never forgets the old advice about accepting trials and criticism humbly.
      Injustice happens. He also suddenly finds himself involved in situations that he did not deserve, at moments that he has no means to defend himself.
      At such times the warrior remains silent. He does not waste energy on words, because they can do nothing; it is better to use his strength to resist, be patient and know that Someone is watching. Someone who saw unjust suffering and cannot accept that.
      This Someone gives the warrior what he needs most: time. Sooner or later everything will once again work in his favor.
      A Warrior of Light is wise; he does not comment on his defeats.

Believing the Personal Legend
     A Warrior of Light assumes his Personal legend entirely – his reason for living. His companions remark: "his faith is admirable!"
     The warrior is proud for a few minutes and then ashamed of what he hears, because he does not possess the faith that he displays.
      At this moment his angel whispers to him: "you are only an instrument of the light. There is no reason to feel proud of yourself or to feel guilty; there is only reason to fulfill your destiny."
     And the Warrior of Light, aware that he is an instrument, feels calmer and more secure.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2005 by Paulo Coelho 

The path of archery


The importance of repeating the same thing
An action is a thought that manifests itself.
A small gesture denounces us, so we have to make everything perfect,
think about the details, learn the technique so that it becomes
intuitive. Intuition has nothing to do with routine but rather with a
state of spirit that lies beyond technique.
So, after practicing a lot, we no longer think about all the necessary
movements: they become part of our very existence. But for this to
happen, you have to train and repeat.
And as if that were not enough, you have to repeat and train.
Watch a good blacksmith working the steel. To the untrained eye he is
repeating the same hammer blows over and over again.
But those who know the importance of training know that each time the
hammer is raised and then lowered, the intensity of the blow is
different. The hand repeats the same gesture but as it approaches the
iron it knows whether to touch it harder or softer.
Look at the windmill. Whoever sees its vanes just once imagines that it
always turns with the same speed, always repeating the same movement. But
those who know windmills know that they are conditioned to the wind and
change their direction whenever necessary.
The hand of the ironsmith was trained after the gesture of hammering was
repeated thousands of times. Windmill vanes can move fast after the wind
has blown a lot and polished their gears. The archer lets many an arrow
pass far from the target because he knows that he will only learn the
importance of the bow, posture, the string and the target after he
repeats his gestures thousands of times without being afraid of making a
Until he reaches the moment when he no longer needs to think about what
he doing. From then on the archer becomes his bow, his arrow and his

How to observe the flight of the arrow
The arrow is intention projected into space.
Once it is fired, there is nothing left for the archer to do except
accompany its path towards the target. From that moment on, the tension
necessary for the shot has no more reason to exist.
The archer therefore keeps his eyes fixed on the flight of the arrow, but
his heart is at rest and he smiles.
At that moment, if he has trained enough, if he has managed to develop
his instinct, if he has maintained his elegance and concentration
throughout the whole process of the shot, then he will feel the presence
of the universe and hw will see that his action was fair and deserved.
Technique makes both hands always ready, breathing always precise, eyes
able to fix on the target. Instinct makes the moment of the shot perfect.
Whoever passes by and sees the archer with his arms open and his eyes
following the arrow will fancy that he is stopped. But the allies know
that the mind of the one who fired the arrow has changed dimension and is
now in contact with the entire universe: the mind goes on working,
learning everything of a positive nature that the shot has brought,
correcting any mistakes, accepting his qualities, and waiting to see how
the target reacts when it is struck.
When the archer stretches the string, he can see the whole world inside
his bow. When he accompanies the flight of the arrow, this world comes
close to him, caresses him and makes him relish the perfect sensation of
having fulfilled his duty.
A Warrior of Light, after fulfilling his duty and transforming his
intention into gesture, need fear no more: he has done what he had to do.
He has not allowed himself to be petrified by fear, for even if the arrow
fails to reach its target, he will have another opportunity, because he
has not been a coward.

Sure shots

From a mother to her daughter
In the whole wide world there is no-one like me. I am the owner of my
body, my thoughts, my ideas. The images that my eyes contemplate belong
to me and I need to know how to choose them. I possess my own fantasies,
my dreams, hopes and fears. Since I am owner of myself, I have to know
myself intimately. There are aspects of myself that confound me, others
that I do not know. But whether or not you agree with all that I am, this
is authentic, this represents the moment that I am living.

From an Anglican bishop in the year 1100
When I was young and free, I dreamed of changing the world. In maturity I
discovered that the world would not change, so I decided to change my
country. After some effort I ended up understanding that this too was
impossible. At the end of my years I tried to change my family but they
went on being the same as they were before.
Now on my death bed I discover that my mission was to change myself. If I
had done that, I would have been able to change my family. Then, with a
little luck, that change would affect my country, and then &ndash; who
knows &ndash; the whole wide world.

Midrach Rabba on Ecclesiastes
When men come into the world, their hands are always closed as if they
wanted to say: the whole world is mine and I am going to hold on to it.
When men leave the world, their hands are always open as if they wanted
to say: I have nothing in my power, all that I can take are my memories,
all that I can leave are my examples.

Kahlil Gibran to Mary Haskell
We are both trying to touch the limits of our existence. The great poets
of the past always surrendered themselves to Life. They were not looking
for some determined thing, nor were they trying to unravel secrets: they
simply let their souls be overwhelmed by emotions. People are always
seeking security, and sometimes they manage to achieve it: but security
is an end in itself, and Life has no end. Poets are not those who write
poetry, but all those whose heart is filled with the sacred spirit of

Epictetus to his disciples
Two things can happen when we meet someone: either we become friends, or
we try to convince the other person to accept our convictions. The same
happens when the ember meets another piece of coal: either it shares its
fire with it, or it is suffocated by its size and ends up extinguished.
As we are generally insecure at a first contact, we try indifference,
arrogance or excessive humility. The result is that we stop being who we
are and things start heading towards a strange world that does not belong
to us.

Kandinsky on painting
Painting is an art. And art is a power that should be aimed at developing
the soul. If art does not do this job, the abyss that separates us from
God is left without a bridge.
The artist owes his talent to God and has to settle this debt. To do
this, he has to work hard, know that he is free in his art but not in his
commitment to life. Everything he feels and thinks is part of the raw
material with which to improve the spiritual atmosphere around him.
Beauty, whether in art or in a woman, cannot be empty; it has to be at
the service of men and the world.

Copyright @ 2005 by Paulo Coelho

At the end of the black tunnel


     “I saw only a tunnel.”
      In the bar in Sibiu, in Transylvania, Sorin looks deep into my eyes. He carries on speaking.
     “I saw a black tunnel with a man at the end of it, making signs at me.”
      I wait. We have all the time in the world and I remember that when I was in the same situation I saw a tunnel too, except this one led to a hotel in Rio de Janeiro, the Glria Hotel. I looked at that hotel, expected the worse and thought to myself: “it’s not fair, I’m only 26 years old!” Fair or not, in the early morning of 27 May 1974 I stood before death and could not see what was happening beside me. Just the tunnel and the hotel. But my story does not matter, it serves only to say that I understand perfectly well what Sorin is telling me in a bar lost in the middle of the Carpates Mountains.
     “I saw only a tunnel, with a man pointing a gun at me and telling me to get out of the car.”
     Sorin Miscoci’s Calvary began on 28 March 2005, near Baghdad. He had been designated to spend a week there at the request of a Rumanian TV station and ended up being kidnapped for 55 days.
     “Later on, when they freed me, the American security agents asked me how many people were there. And I told them: one. They laughed and said that just wasn’t possible. It was the psychologist who helped me, explaining that in situations like this, nothing in the surroundings has any importance. All you see is the focus of the crisis, what is threatening you, and you simply forget the rest.
      Sorin has just got married to Andrea, who strokes his hand. We have been traveling together for three days and we will continue for another week crossing the Carpates Mountains. I knew his story, but waited until he was in his home town before asking him the details. Cristina Topescu, an old friend who worked as a journalist in the same TV as Sorin, was also at the table. She says that when the time came to mobilize the country, few colleagues came forward to speak to the President of the Republic, for fear of losing their jobs.
     “The worst of it was that I saw Sorin wearing orange overalls and with his head shaven, in a video that was delivered to Al-Jazeera (the Arab channel based in Qatar),” says Cristina. “This was a sign that his execution would take place quite soon.”
     “I asked God for only one thing: to die with a bullet in the heart. I had already seen videos of prisoners being decapitated; I asked, begged to be shot,” adds Sorin.
      Andrea gives him a kiss. He smiles, asks if I want to stay in that restaurant or if we should go to the only karaoke in Sibiu. I prefer to interrupt the conversation at that point - it was better to go and sing together. Our group gets up, I try to pay the bill but it was “on the house” in homage to the local hero, he who had survived in spite of everything.
      On the way to the discotheque, I think about the black tunnel: without wanting to romanticize a dramatic situation, I fell that this happens to everyone. When we are faced with something that really threatens us, it is impossible to look around, although this is the correct and safer procedure. We can’t see clearly, use logic, gather information that can help us and those who try to get us out of that situation. In love and in war we are human, thank God.
      We reach the karaoke, drink some more, sing Elvis, Madonna and Ray Charles. Ours is an interesting group: Lacrima, who was abandoned by her mother when she was only two months old. Leonardo, who has just got over a depression that lasted two years. Cristina Topescu, who recently overcame difficult moments. Sorin and his 55 days in captivity, and Andrea, who almost lost the person she loved. And me, with scars all over my body and soul.
      And even so we drank, sang and celebrated life. To have friends like these gives me more than hope, it makes me understand that the true survivors will never be victims to their torturers, because they manage to keep alive the most important thing in human beings: joy.
      And where there is joy after tragedy, there will always be an example to be followed.

www.warriorofthelight.comCopyright @ 2005 by Paulo Coelho  



Believe in the power of grace.
When we least expect it, a new door will
open and the light of grace will
illuminate our next step.

Cheryl Richardson

To be like a river flowing

     “A river never passes the same place twice,” says a philosopher. “Life is like a river,” says another philosopher, and we draw the conclusion that this is the metaphor that comes closest to the meaning of life. Consequently, it is always good to remember during all the year to come:
     A] We are always doing things for the first time. While we move between our source (birth) to our destination (death), the landscape will always be new. We should face these novelties with joy, not with fear – because it is useless to fear what cannot be avoided. A river never stops running.
     B] In a valley we walk slower. When everything around us becomes easier, the waters grow calm, we become more open, fuller and more generous.
     C] Our banks are always fertile. Vegetation only grows where there is water. Whoever comes into contact with us needs to understand that we are there to give the thirsty something to drink.
     D] Stones should be avoided. It is obvious that water is stronger than granite, but it takes time for this to happen. It is no good letting yourself be overcome by stronger obstacles, or trying to fight against them - that is a useless waste of energy. It is best to understand where the way out is, and then move forward.
     E] Hollows call for patience. All of a sudden the river enters a sort of hole and stops running as joyfully as before. At such moments the only way out is to count on the help of time. When the right moment comes the hollow fills up and the water can flow ahead. In the place of the ugly, lifeless hole there now stands a lake that others can contemplate with joy.
     F] We are one. We were born in a place that was meant for us, which will always keep us supplied with enough water so that when confronted with obstacles or depression we have the necessary patience or strength to move forward. We begin our course in a soft and fragile manner, where even a simple leaf can stop us. Nevertheless, as we respect the mystery of the source that gave us life, and trust in His eternal wisdom, little by little we gain all that we need to pursue our path.
     G] Although we are one, soon we shall be many. As we travel on, the waters of other springs come closer, because that is the best path to follow. Then we are no longer just one, but many – and there comes a moment when we feel lost. However, as the Bible says, “all rivers flow to the sea.” It is impossible to remain in our solitude, no matter how romantic that may seem. When we accept the inevitable encounter with other springs, we eventually understand that this makes us much stronger, we get around obstacles or fill in the hollows in far less time and with greater ease.
     H] We are a means of transportation. Of leaves, boats, ideas. May our waters always be generous, may be always be able to carry ahead everything or everyone that needs our help.
     I] We are a source of inspiration. And so, let us leave the final words to the Brazilian poet, Manuel Bandeira:
      “To be like a river that flows
     silent through the night,
     not fearing the darkness and
     reflecting any stars high in the sky.

     And if the sky is filled with clouds,
     the clouds are water like the river, so
     without remorse reflect them too
     in the calm deep.”

Paulo Coelho

With kind permission from the author
"Warrior of the Light, a publication."

One day in January 2006

     It is raining hard today and the temperature is close to 3ºC. I decided to go for a walk – I feel that if I don’t walk every day I won’t be able to work – but the wind is very strong too, so I came back to the car after ten minutes. I took the newspaper from the mailbox, nothing important in it, except the things that journalists have decided we should know, follow up and take a position on.
      I go to the computer to read my e-mails.
      Nothing new, just some decisions without any importance that I can see to later.
      I try a little archery, but the wind is still blowing so strong that it’s impossible. I have already written my bi-annual book, which this time is called “The Zahir”, and there is still weeks before it comes out. I have already written the columns I publish on the Internet. I have already written the newsletter for my page on the Web. I have had a check-up on my stomach which fortunately detected nothing abnormal (they really scared me with all that business of sticking a tube down my throat, but there is nothing so terrible about it). I have been to the dentist. The tickets for my next trip by plane, which were taking a while to arrive, have finally got here by express mail. There are some things I have to do tomorrow, and some things I finished doing yesterday, but today ...
      Today I have absolutely nothing to concentrate my attention on.
     That scares me: shouldn’t I be doing something? Well, if you want to invent work, you don’t need to make much effort – there are always projects to be developed, bulbs that need changing, dry leaves that need sweeping, books to be tidied up, computer files to be organized, and so on. But how about just facing a total void.
      I put on a cap, thermal clothes and a rainproof jacket, and go out to the garden – like this I’ll be able to stand the cold for the next four or five hours. I sit down on the wet grass and begin to make a mental list of what passes through my head:
      A] I am useless. At this moment everybody is busy, working hard.
      Answer: I work hard too, sometimes twelve hours a day. Today, by chance, I have nothing to do.
      B] I have no friends. Here I am alone, one of the world’s best-known writers, and the telephone does not ring.
      Answer: of course I have friends. But they know how to respect my need for isolation when I’m in the old mill at St. Martin in France.
      C] I have to go and buy some glue.
      Yes, I have just remembered that I ran out of glue yesterday, why not get into the car and drive to the nearest town? And that thought brings me to a halt. Why is it so difficult just to stay as I am right now, without doing anything?
      A series of thoughts goes through my head: friends who worry about things that have not happened yet, acquaintances who know how to fill each minute of their lives with tasks that seem absurd to me, senseless conversations, long phone calls to say nothing of importance. Office bosses who invent work to justify their jobs, employees who are afraid because today they were given nothing important to do and that could mean that they are no longer any useful, mothers who torture themselves because the children have gone out, students who torture themselves over studies, tests, examinations.
      I wage a long, difficult fight with myself not to get up and go to the stationary to buy the glue that is missing. The anguish is immense, but I’m determined to stay here without doing anything at least for a couple of hours. Little by little the anxiety gives way to contemplation and I begin to listen to my soul. It was dying to talk to me, but I’m always so busy.
      The wind is still blowing very hard, I know that it’s cold and that tomorrow maybe I’ll need to buy some glue. I’m not doing anything, and I’m doing the most important thing in a man’s life: I’m listening to what I needed to hear from myself.

Paulo Coelho

With kind permission from the author
"Warrior of the Light, a publication."

Christmas Story: A place in Paradise

     Many years ago, in the northeast of Brazil, there lived a couple who were very poor and whose only possession was a hen. They managed to scrape a precarious living from the eggs laid by that one hen.
     On Christmas Eve, however, the hen died. The husband, who only had a few pennies to his name, which was certainly not enough to buy food for that evening’s meal, went to seek help from the village priest.
     Instead of giving him money, the priest merely remarked:
     ‘God never closes a door without opening a window. Your money will buy you almost nothing, so go to the market and buy the first thing you’re offered. I will bless that purchase and, since Christmas is the time for miracles, something will happen that will change your life for ever.’
     The man wasn’t entirely convinced that this was the best solution, but he went to the market anyway. One of the traders saw him wandering aimlessly about and asked what he was looking for.
     ‘I don’t know. I don’t have much money, but the priest told me that I should buy the first thing I was offered.’
     The trader was very rich, but even so he never let slip an opportunity to make a profit, however small. He took the man’s few coins and in exchange gave him a note scribbled on a piece of paper.
     ‘The priest was quite right. Now I’ve always had a kind heart, and so, on this festive day, I’m selling you my place in Paradise. Here are the deeds!’
     The other man took the piece of paper and moved off, while the trader glowed with pride at having closed yet another excellent deal. That night, while he was preparing for supper in his house full of servants, he told the story to his wife, adding that it was thanks to such quick thinking that he had become as rich as he was.
     ‘That’s shameful!’ said his wife. ‘Fancy behaving like that on the day Jesus was born! Go straight to that man’s house and get the piece of paper back, or you’ll never set foot in this house again!’
     Alarmed by his wife’s anger, the trader decided to do as she said. After much asking around, he managed to find out where the man lived. When he went in, he found the couple sitting at a table that was completely bare apart from the piece of paper.
     ‘I’ve come because what I did was wrong,’ the trader said. ‘Here’s your money. Now give me back what I sold you.’
     ‘You did nothing wrong,’ replied the man. ‘I followed the priest’s advice and I know that what I bought from you is blessed.’
     ‘But it’s just a piece of paper. Besides, no one can sell someone else their place in Paradise. If you like, I’ll give you double what you paid for it.’
     However, because he believed in miracles, the poor man refused to sell. The trader gradually increased his offer, until he reached the sum of ten gold coins.
     ‘That’s no good to me,’ said the man. ‘In order to give my wife the life she deserves, I need one hundred gold coins. That is the miracle I’m waiting for this Christmas Eve.’
     In despair and knowing that if he lingered any longer, no one in his own house would have supper or go to midnight mass, the trader ended up paying one hundred gold coins to get the piece of paper back. As far as the couple were concerned, the miracle had happened. As for the trader, he had done as his wife had asked. His wife, though, was filled with doubt. Had she been too hard on her husband?
     As soon as midnight mass was over, she went to the priest and told him the story.
     ‘Father, my husband met a man who said that you had told him to go to the market and buy the first thing he was offered. My husband, seeing a chance to earn some easy money, wrote him a note on a piece of paper, selling him his place in Paradise. I told my husband that he wouldn’t eat in our house tonight if he didn’t get that piece of paper back, and he ended up having to pay one hundred gold coins for it. Did I go too far? Could a place in Paradise really cost that much?’
     ‘Firstly, your husband was able to show great generosity on this, the most important day in the Christian calendar. Secondly, he became the instrument of God through whom a miracle was performed. But to answer your question: when he sold his place in Heaven for a few pennies, it wasn’t even worth that much; however, when he bought it back for one hundred gold coins simply to make his wife happy, that, I can assure you, made it worth much much more.’

(Based on an Hasidic tale by David Mandel)

Paulo Coelho

With kind permission from the author, Pauo Coelho

"Warrior of the Light, a publication."